attempting to cope with a traumatic last 6 months

[huggie444]

hi everyone 🙂

I'm sitting here currently balling my eyes out and found myself on this forum page and thought why not give it a try. I am 16 and currently in such a state of mind that is almost impossible to explain and to be honest I don't quite understand it myself.

in July and September of last year, my two grandma's passed away. the first was very old so it was not a shock but my second grandma had only just turned 71 and had Alzheimer's disease. she deteriorated so quickly in 6 weeks and it was an absolute horrible experience and I could not even go to her funeral. this really affected me and I ended up locking myself in my room for 5 days and not speaking to anyone, isolating myself from my family, friends etc.

on January 17 of this year it was just a normal day until we found a snake in my very 'bushy' backyard, and consequently my beautiful 4 year old jack Russel had been bitten. i was the one to find her and while still alive and conscious, I knew something was bad straight away.we rushed her to the vet while she was essentially dying on my lap and after 2 doses of the anti-venom and several hours later she could not be saved.

two weeks later I got covid and had to isolate for 10 days and miss my first week of year 11.

this is a general explanation of the last 6 months that have been far too graphic and traumatic for anyone let alone a 16 year old to handle. the past month I've been so out of touch with reality- I replay the traumatic events with my dog over and over in my head, saying goodbye while we had to put her down, me trying to soothe her in the car etc, to the point where I've wanted to wrap my hands around my head and scream. the thoughts are always so loud and I can picture it so clearly and its affected my sleep and my schooling. in the past week in particular has been the worst, I'm currently terrified that everyone I love is going to die and I jump to the worst possible conclusion with every little thing. I can't focus on school and have been zoning out to the point where I cannot hear anyone and have to be physically touched to essentially 'come back' to reality. I'm normally very good at concentrating on two things at once so this has deeply concerned me. I'm also having major sensory issues where everything is too loud and I feel like everything is closing in on me. I feel so alone and have completely isolated myself from everyone for the last four days again.all I want is a hug from someone.

[Sophie_M]

Hi huggie444,

Welcome to the forums and thank you for sharing your story with us here.

We are sorry to hear of the loss of your two grandma's. We can only imagine how heartbroken you must feel right now and want to remind you that you are not alone and support is always here for you.

If you would like to talk to someone, the Beyond Blue Support Service is available 24/7 by phone on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 1pm-12am AEST on our website: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport  We also recommend reaching out to Kids Helpline who are a confidential and anonymous, telephone and online counselling service specifically for young people aged 25 and under.  

We hope that you will find some comfort here on the forums. Please feel free to keep reaching out here on your thread whenever you feel up to it.

[Mark Z.]

Hi huggie444,

I feel so sorry for what you have experienced.

Life always have its ups and downs, but when it's too hard to come back to the right track on your own, it's time to seek for help, including professional help and emotional support.

Regarding professional help, I would suggest you to make a call to beyondblue hotline. Meanwhile, see your GP to refer a psychologist for you. Don't wait until it's too late and too complex.

Regarding emotional support. You need your family and close friends more than ever. Talk to them, try to spend more time with them, rather than staying alone. Don't assume you'll be their burden, no, they'll be more than happy to support you.

Also, nature, greenery and fresh air have healing properties. Don't lock yourself at home, make morning walk or running as your routine, and keep it for a certain period.

Hope everything will get better.

Mark

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear huggie444,

A very warm and caring welcome to our forums...

I am really deeply sorry that you have gone through the loss of your 2 beautiful grandmothers and your gorgeous fur baby...

I would love to give you a warm and caring hug...if that’s okay....

Its really hard when when we loose our loved ones, and grieving for them can be so painful for our soul...if you need to cry lovely huggie, as hard as it is just let those tears fall....it’s okay to cry....

Is talking to your school health officer/counsellor about your thoughts and fears something that you feel you could do?....or even talk to your parents about how sad your feeling...

We are all for you lovely huggie, with our support and care..

My kindest thoughts..l.with an hug 🤗..

Grandy..