anyone feeling the same?

Corey · ‎21-12-2013

hey all new to here im a 20yr old male been dealing with anxiety and panic disorder since i was 14 i left school at year 9 because i could deal with it anymore after i managed it a bit better i went to tafe and did my yr 10. i got on a good medication that seemed to help alot and things were looking great then the girlfriend i was with died of a heart condition at 16 which really threw me down again, i started feeling alot severe anxiety and developed depersonalization and derealization, i still dont know how to deal with the ex girlfriends death and it and its been a 4 or so years now and im with another girl who has supported me threw everything and makes me very happy but this anxiety crap is really affecting our relationship, i cant work, i cant go out of the house and if i do i find it really hard to drive and i grew up restoring cars its my passion and i loved driving before things got really bad but now i just cant do it and if i try to drive someone from my family has to come with me i have been threw all this before and have overcome all this before and seen many health professionals and i know it cant hurt me but still its a automatic thing that just happens, i feel unreal and spaced out like im not connected to the world around me almost invisible in a way and when i do leave home i feel uneasy and insecure like im in a foreign place full of fear and dread even tho ive been there many times before, then the panic sets in ect. i get obbsessive thorts and unwanted thorts and like i will do somethign thats completely out of character ect. and i have a bit of OCD with touching things a certain number or times it is servre and i really try to avoid it, all of it is really affecting my life and i just want to be my old self again and not be a burden to everyone, i know that when im not thinking of it i feel 100% normal and i know i need to break the automatic response and change it to a more pleasant response, i know alot about anxiety and why it happens and what happens inside the brain and body and i probaly could help alot of people on here but all im asking is a bit of reassurance that all this is anxiety? i plan on using my strategies alot more like mindfulness and relaxation do plenty of exercise and quit smoking cigarettes and no i have never taken any drugs apart from my anxiety medication and cigarettes which are bad enough and i dont drink due to my anxiety im afraid of how i will be if i did drink plus alcohol dosnt mix well with the meds im on, i also plan to change my diet ect. i really want to dig deep and get control and live comfortably even if my anxiety is still there i just want to live at peace with it all. any help would be great thanks

anxiousnewbeginnings_ · ‎21-12-2013

Hi there, I'm new here too, but your story makes complete sense to me. Ive had anxiety/some depression for the last 6 years, and I firstly think youre doing a wonderful job coping with everything, and im sorry for your loss you had. The fact that you want to try your techniques even more, etc is just proof of how ready you are to fight your anxieties. From what I have dealt with personally, I believe all of your things are anxiety related, even the OCD parts can be (I have OCD about structure and order, my psychologist told me its completely normal when you have anxiety to have it flow into other areas). I've found that the mindfulness and thinking (worst/neutral/best) has helped me the most. Especialy in relation to going out or doing things ive avoided. EG. The worst case scenario will always be death..so you have to come up with the best possible outcome (which you will never believe will happen I'm sure but theres more!) AND then find a happy medium and think.. well its likely to end up here in the middle. You've probably heard that one before, but if not I hope it helps 🙂 I hope things begin to pick up for you.

geoff · ‎22-12-2013

dear Corey, I am just so sorry for the loss of your girlfriend, goodness me she was far too young to have to suffer from this.

The first two words you said 'anxiety' and then 'panic disorder' suddenly made me think that you do have OCD, just like I have for 54 years.

It's a controlling illness that makes us do things that other people find to be illogical, or they can't really comprehend why we have to perform these rituals and/or habits.

To me OCD is like a brother, it stays with me all the time, and I have done a course online to control it, but once this finished back it came, plus I have had cognitive therapy, and again it came back, so it's an illness that is very controlling.

OCD is a common topic on this site, and your experience and knowledge would certainly be of great benefit.

People like yourself can learn to perform OCD habits, while mine is hereditary, but because of the devastation to your girlfriend it is easy to develop it, because the thoughts that go through your mind are that if you touch something so many times then nothing else will go wrong again.

I am too old, how terrible that sounds, but to try and minimise my OCD would be too tiring, so now I go with the flow.

Hope you reply back to us. Geoff.

Corey · ‎22-12-2013

thanks everyone for reply back its been of great help 🙂