Anxious and feeling helpless

[CatMummy1]

I'm reaching out because I'm feeling totally lost.

I moved to Australia from overseas to be with my partner. There are cultural differences between our families and his family are devout Christian. We wanted to start a family and were worried that without being married it would cause upset. With Covid meaning travel is a little uncertain We decided to elope with a few friends. We figured that would be the fairest way .

Fast forward a month later my in laws still haven't forgiven us as they feel they should have been invited even if my family couldn't be there.

The whole situation has sent me into a deep depression and state of anxiety. I haven't seen my family in 3 years, I'm an only child and I moved here to be with my now husband. It feels as though to my in laws my family don't matter.

I honestly don't know what to do or think anymore I have gradually gotten worse over the last few weeks and I struggle to eat and sleep let alone concentrate.

Im worried it will drive a wedge between my husband and I. My husband now feels it was a mistake to get married. I've tried to talk to him and figure out how to fix things with family but he shuts down at conflict and also doesn't really understand my level of anxiety.

i honestly don't know what to do.

[Sophie_M]

Hi CatMummy1,

Welcome to the forums and thank you for sharing your story with us here.

We are sorry to hear that things have been so difficult for you recently. We understand this must be so heartbreaking, especially after what should be, such a joyous occasion. Please know that you never have to go through this alone, and support is always here for you.

If you would like to talk to someone, the Beyond Blue Support Service is available 24/7 by phone on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 1pm-12am AEST on our website: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport  One of our friendly counsellors will be able to talk through these feelings with you and can offer support, advice and referrals.

We would recommend that you get in touch with an organisation called Relationships Australia on 1300 364 277 who provide relationship support services for individuals, families and communities.

We hope that you will find some comfort here on the forums. Please feel free to keep reaching out here on your thread whenever you feel up to it.

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

Like Sophie I think contacting Relationships Australia would be beneficial.

Sometimes we do things that has reverberations later, it results in not being able to repair damage. This anxiety is the result of that and a visit to your GP would be another good move to help you cope with this problem of anxiety.

TonyWK

[geoff]

Hello CatMummy1, you and your husband decided to elope for reasons which may be highly justified and dearly wanted to start a family and if his family are devout Christian then that's a decision the two of you had thoroughly thought over together, it's your life and you are entitled to do what you choose to do, because we can't always get our future in laws or our own family to agree on what we want the easiest option is to elope.

Your husband can't be convinced by his family that this should not have happened, it's the two of you to form your own family.

Best wishes.

Geoff.