Anxiety walking down stairs, driving anxiety

[Purple4]

Just wondering if anyone else suffers from anxiety walking down stairs or driving.

If I have to walk down stairs my legs turn to jelly and my foot just hovers over the first step as I'm too scared to take it. When I have finally managed the first step I hold the rail tightly as my jelly legs some how manage to get down. This also happens to me out of the blue while walking, my legs just want to give out on me.

My driving anxiety is extreme. I struggle on the open road or traveling at over 80ks. I struggle to explain how I feel but it basically feels like I am driving on a cliffs edge and one false move my car will fall off the road killing me.

Can anyone relate to this?

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Hi there

In my experience anxiety can cling on to anything. I tried to explain to my ex once that if I experienced a weird anxious reaction to things, I had to try hard to not think too much about them or they would "stick". Easier said than done of course. And yes, I have had experiences where walking was weird, and driving was scary, but neither have stuck. Other things have stuck unfortunately.

I'm wondering how long has this been happening for you? And do you remember when it started? Was it precipitated by something?

[Purple4]

Thanks for your reply. You are spot on about trying not to let things stick. I've spent most of my life trying to talk myself out of anxiety and in some situations I am successful. Ive have driving anxiety for well over 20 years. I had a panic attack while overtaking a truck. Of course I didnt understand what was happening at the time but for some reason my brain stored that fear. I avoided driving and the fear grew and took over.

With walking, and stairs, it all seemed to happen at once. I was diagnosed with social anxiety and couldn't eat or drink in public either. It was like a virus that took over my life.

Looking back I wonder if I had of faced my fears earlier maybe anxiety wouldn't have taken over my life. I've tried so many therapies over the years but nothing has helped with driving and my fear of stairs. Just recently feeling like I will fall when walking has come back with vengeance

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Awful isn't it? I had a fear my entire life that turned into a phobia at some point and took over my life. It's the reason I stopped working. And even then it kept ballooning out and getting bigger. Sometimes I get mad at my parents for "allowing" me to be scared instead of getting me some help. So I understand. I'm currently trying exposure therapy on my own to try and at least shrink it back a bit. I'm pleased to say I've made some progress.

Can I ask what sort of therapy you have undergone? And do you currently have other stress going on in your life? I find that when things in my life are generally going unwell that my specific anxieties are much worse. For example I've had an awful 2 months, and I fell off my paddleboard 2 days ago, and while that should be uneventful I find my mind is overthinking it and turning it into some scary event, and if I "let it" I'm not going to be able to get on my board again without being scared, and I really don't want that to happen.

[Purple4]

Thankyou for sharing that with me. You explained what's going on in my head and that makes me feel a little less 'crazy'

I too often blamed my then husband for enabling me to avoid situations but deep down I was so terrified of them he only did what he thought was best for me.

Facing anxiety head on is exhausting and you need to commit 100% to it. I used that as an excuse as to why I couldn't. I would say, when I have more time or when the kids get older, anything to get out of it.

Many years ago I tried CBT but that was interrupted by family issues. I also did exposure therapy where my psychologist would get in the car with me to help me drive. I did this several times but wasn't successful. I felt like a failure and went back to my life of avoidance.

When my husband left me I was force to face my anxiety again. My GP medicated me which stopped a lot of my panic.

I do believe in significant events can trigger it. Sometimes I find the insignificant events trigger more than serious ones.

You are so in touch with your anxiety when you fell off your paddle board and didn't want to be scared to get back on. Its like, I'm not going to let this beat me, this doesn't scare me, I'm in control and can do this.

Overthinking is our worse enemy.

I have also tried to put myself into deep relaxation and go back to events that made me panic and change my reaction to them. I did this with professional help but I struggled to get into a state of deep relaxation.

I just wish I could go somewhere like a treatment center with highly trained professionals and heal myself.

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

You're right, healing does require time, energy and commitment. It's easy to just stay in a comfortable space, even when it's not that comfortable - go figure hey. Anyway, I'm not sure where you are, but I found a treatment centre in Perth, WA, that works with people with phobias. I can't afford to attend though. But I wonder if there is something like that near you.

Perhaps you would also be willing to go back and give cbt another go? I think it's very cool that you found a psychologist willing to physically work with you on your phobia. I wish mine did rather than just talk therapy. And I wouldn't say you were unsuccessful either. As my therapist would say "you weren't able to do it, just yet". She tells me that how we phrase things is important 🙂 Positive self-talk. You're not a failure, you're a work in progress 🙂

As I said in my previous post, I've taken some baby steps forward, and I really believe that you can too. Best wishes, Katy

[calmseeker]

Its weird what our how our anxiety manifests itself and what it attaches itself too. I have been struggling with anxiety for a decade and some of the activities which became difficult surprised me. I have had trouble driving also, I don't anymore. Purple4, I am wishing you the best of luck in over coming this, I know its difficult. So public transport it was for me until I was so terrified of having a panic attack on the train or bus this became hard too, I am working on it.

For about 5 years I had panic symptoms after eating, I would feel awful and sweaty. It became not an enjoyable thing to grab lunch at a café or go out for a meal. I had always really enjoyed eating out but stopped doing so. About a year ago these feelings suddenly stopped, I realised, hang on, I haven't been feeling awful after food?! I have no idea why it started in the first place or why it stopped but I am grateful it did.

For the last few months I have been overcome with awful and anxious feelings while writing the weekly grocery list. I know it sounds strange, but it seems the anxiety wants to grab on to this particular task now. I get so overwhelmed with this simple task that I just leave the list on the bench and add bits and pieces to it over a couple of days. Weird and annoying. I hear you Purple4 when you say insignificant things can trigger anxiety more than significant things sometimes.

I guess we take that deep breath and soldier on and do our best to overcome it or manage it. But feel safe in the knowledge that you are not alone in the battle.

Kind thoughts

CS

[Purple4]

Hi Katy,

I live in a pretty small country town in south west victoria. We dont even have a train station.

I haven't found a psychologist that I can work with, my previous one retired over 10 years ago.

I've always been big on the positive self talk. When I find depression taking over I focus my energy on positives. It may just be that my coffee tasted great, during anxiety I try but the anxiety often wins. I will never give up trying though.

Services are very limited for me. I'd have to travel at least 100ks to a city and since I can't drive I feel trapped.

I really appreciate your input on my post and I hope you stay in touch and get back on that paddle board asap

Take Care

[Purple4]

Hello CS

Thankyou for taking the time to reply.

I can relate to everything you said. I'm puzzled at why anxiety stops us doing normal every day tasks like writing a shopping list or in my case walking down stairs. I hid my anxiety for years due to shame and embarrassment.

It was a huge weight lifted off my shoulders when I stopped hiding it. I'm 46 years old and have suffered from anxiety and depression for my whole life.

I love your last paragraph. Perfectly said xx

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Yes, that does make things hard living regionally. I'm glad to hear you won't stop trying though.

Little update from me - I've just been out on the paddleboard. I've lost a lot of confidence. Silly little jelly legs and a head full of "what if's". But... I stayed out for about an hour and a half and felt a little more relaxed towards the end. So I'm not letting this beat me. It's always been my happy place and I don't want to lose that.

By the way, have you read "Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway" by Susan Jeffers? I mean, things either connect with us or they don't, but at this point I'm just gathering resources from anywhere and giving them a go. (I'm also in my 40's and have suffered forever). If you lived closer I'd say let's get together and support each other, but we're a whole country apart lol. Best, Katy