Anxiety turning to Anger

[MarkBt]

I suffer from health anxiety and was extremely anxious when all of the COVID-19 cases were occurring in March. Unfortunately, I live in Melbourne and I guess you can see where this is going now.. Like many others, I went into lockdown with a sense of hope that we could beat the virus and the vast majority were on board. When things were looking better my anxiety began to ease and I was functioning kind of normally. Now with the recent jump in cases, the anxiety is back but with a new twist. I am really, really angry and starting to take it out on others. Like many Melbournians I am furious there has been a complete and blatant disregard for others' health by it seems a not insignificant part of the community. I generally avoid conflict which can also be a problem, but lately if I see someone do something stupid I get really angry and actively have a go at them. I know the anger stems from the anxiety and the fact that I want to feel safe again. However, I don't see others are on board and I'm acting out. I'm getting also frustrated at what I see as dithering by the Authorities here. Anyway, enough of the personal view i'm struggling and becoming angry not sure what to do with the anger

[MarkBt]

I am a nature person and could easily move to the bush (my wife on the other hand is not) so there is a tension there.

One of the big troubles I have is the lockdown means I can't travel to those places where i could become grounded. So it has been a challenging time. Its probably not so much that I can't tolerate foolishness and others, I just feel very let down by the wider community of Melbourne and I feel let down by the government. I have never felt this kind of despondency before where two of the major constants in you life have absolutely failed you. It doesn't leave you anywhere to go. Fortunately the growth in cases in my area is not large but I don't have a lot of faith that the powers that be know what they are doing. I have seen mistake after mistake and I can't move, i'm trapped. TBH anger isnt a strong enough word. While I don't have known underlying conditions, I don't feel in good health. My wife has type 2 diabetes and vulnerable so I feel sold out by the current response. Anxious, scared and trapped - I'm held hostage in this absolute mess. If things don't turn around soon, i'll be so traumatised i won't be able to stay.

[Sophie_M]

Hi MarkBt,

We're so sorry to hear how trapped and scared you feel at the moment. We empathise with how difficult this turbulent year has been. Please know that our community is here to support you and we will get through this. If you feel it might be useful, we'd encourage you to visit our Coronavirus Mental Wellbeing Support Service. The website will be regularly updated with information, advice and strategies to help you manage your wellbeing and mental health during this time. This is inclusive of a 24/7 telephone counselling service. 

Please feel free to keep us updated on your journey here on your thread, whenever you feel up to it.
 

[therising]

Hi Mark

I love nature too and find it challenging not to go to a couple of my favourite spots up in the hills. The kids, myself and my mum also found it incredibly disappointing not to go away on our annual holiday to a place outside of Lakes Entrance called Nungurner. We love this place and it honestly feels like home more than home feels like home.

Might have mentioned before, I imagine you to be a naturally intelligent person. In the case of this covid business, I bet you can see what's coming at times to some degree and feeling like screaming 'No, you can't do that! Can't you see how it's going to go if you do that?!' It's so incredibly frustrating, hey.

I knew how this lock down in Melbourne was going to go for me and my kids, based on the last one. Admit, had a mini freak out before this one kicked in. I can't tolerate the lack of excitement. Can't tolerate not going to those getaway places to relax and reconnect. My freak out included a rant about the Victorian government. While my 15yo son (whose birthday it was 2 days ago) was vibing with my rant, my 17yo daughter (whose 18th birthday she's praying she can celebrate by October) was screaming at me 'Shut up! How are you going to manage this? What's your plan?!' She's a sassy one. Always say to my kids in a challenge 'How are you going to manage this? What's your plan?' 'I DON'T HAVE ONE!' I yelled 'TELL ME WHAT TO DO!' Mark, I felt like an exhausted maniac by the end of my vent. Eventually, we all shared a laugh about it. I've got a husband who loves these restrictions. He's now working one day less a week and can sit around watching TV, drinking more. This is the unexciting lifestyle he loves, which triggers me even more.

Tell myself perspective is key in managing this. I don't believe we can tolerate these times well, without the right perspective and management plan. These times present us with a new challenge, one we've never faced before. How do we reference it when there's nothing to compare it to? I believe we have to think outside the square.

Wondering whether the stress you've been experiencing has been chronically fatiguing your body's systems and now you're finally feeling it, physically. Wondering if you can relate to any chronic fatigue symptoms. If so, maybe your challenge is to find ways to naturally relax. Most of us aren't taught how to relax, as kids. Sometimes we're left having to learn this skill as adults. A new challenge, outside the square in this highly strung world.

🙂

[MarkBt]

I must admit i had a laugh about your description of the family rant. I've done similar. Like your husband, my wife is not really bothered by the restrictions. She's just glad she doesn't have to put up with my road trips. We had also planned to stay at Lakes Entrance, but now it is postponed to October. Are we going to make that one? Unlikely in my view.

I'm getting help but still feeling angry, the high numbers now don't surprise me. Despite relatively low numbers in my area, I don't feel safe or that the response is adequate. I probably have to stop there or I might say something I regret