Anxiety so much a part of my life everyday.

[Rac_]

Hi all 👋🏻

I have had generalised anxiety disorder since I was 17; in the last 4 months after some tough life stressors of losing family members, moving house and quitting my job- I was diagnosed with depression.
I am 31, with a wonderful fiancé who has been in my life for well over 7 years; we have great friends and family and so many positive things in the coming future to look forward to. However, I seem to be only fixated on negativity and hating myself, regardless of anything anyone says.
I can’t seem to think rationally and thoughts I have are so intrusive and overwhelming day to day. I have counselling every week, am on medication and had my first psychology appointment this week; I can have moments where I feel balanced/ but I can’t sustain these for long periods of time, then the negative self talk and misery comes back again.

(Please no judgement- I’m aware how daft this sounds) but even though I’m engaged, due to be married, building a house and trying for pregnancy- in my head, my brain ruminates that my partner was happier before me and I torture myself with ‘mental movies’ of him enjoying happy times with them, being intimate, etc etc. i guess this seems to have become a vicious obsessive struggle, my partner has been so supportive and reassuring but I can never believe what he says.

Can anyone relate? I miss the feelings of self worth and confidence that I used to have, though they have never been super strong in my life.

have a wonderful day 🙂

[Sophie_M]

Hi Rac!,

Welcome to the forums, and thank you for your bravery and openness in sharing here. It’s a really good place to have come to hear from others, many will understand some of what you’re going through. We can hear how difficult the past few months have been, we’re so sorry that’s been going on.

It sounds like you’ve taken some really good steps in getting some support. It’s incredibly difficult when treatment doesn’t have any quick answers, and it can be a long journey. It’s important to be kind to yourself while you go through it, and we think sharing here is a really good way to find understanding.

If you want to talk through what you’re feeling at any time, the Beyond Blue Support Line is here for you 24/7 on 1300 22 4636. You can also reach them via Online Chat here (11am-midnight AEDT).

We’re sure we’ll hear from the lovely community soon, but in the meantime, here’s some strategies you might like to have a look at it:

• Some strategies for managing anxiety
• This previous thread where community members shared some of the things that help them to manage anxi...
• When your inner critic is giving you a tough time

Thanks again for sharing. We’re here to listen and offer support, and you never know how your story might help someone else.

Kind regards,

Sophie M

[Mark Z.]

Hi Rac!

Welcome to the forum.

I'm sorry for your challenge, and I can tell that you've done really great efforts to get back to the right track.

You mentioned that you had feelings of self worth and confidence in the past. Do you want to share the story when and how it changed?

And regarding the way of healing yourself, have you tried doing regular exercise in the nature, for example, have morning runs in a park?

And when you see your counsellor or psychologist, do you want to bring your fiancé next time, so that he can understand your challenge better?

Hope you will find your way soon.

Mark