Anxiety, PTSD running my life

[Critters12]

Hello everyone.

I'll try to keep this brief- at the start of the year I had an overseas trip go wrong and became very ill while travelling, which resulted in me being evacuated out of a remote part of the world and unable to speak the language of my treating doctors. I thought I was going to die in a foreign country and was terrified. After arriving home in my own country, I was good for a couple of weeks, but then I fell into a severe depression and became suicidal for about 6 months. I undertook cognitive behavioural therapy, started medication, and was forced to quit my job as I recovered. It's been about 8 months since the incident and I have improved a lot. I recently got a new job in a nature park working with animals and it's been great. However I am struggling so badly with separation anxiety from my partner, as well as crippling anxiety before starting a shift. It gets so bad that I've called in sick the last few days. I cry so much and I feel hopelessly dependent on my partner. I also freak out about my car dying and losing my job. Everything in my head becomes catastrophic. I'm so tried I will ruin my amazing new job and be fired. I also struggle very badly with facing things, I still haven't filed my health insurance (though I am still within the claim period), because I'm so scared of rejection. I've had financial support from my parents for the last few months and I feel horrible about that too. My partner is a beautiful person who supports me and has been there for me through it all. I feel like a burden to everyone and i just want to be mentally healthy again but I don't know what to do anymore. I'm stuck.

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

I think the repercussions of your overseas trauma is more than justified. Following such an event takes time and resetting of your mind. Time is a great healing mechanism so take some heart that over a period you will improve.

Your anxiety is, how I read it, is effecting your daily now even stopping you sometimes attending your work. Am I understanding this ok? You live away from your partner but that isn't explained fully, is your partner interstate?

You feel like a burden to others. This is quite natural being an adult and having to rely on others like your parents financially and so forth. You'd love to remain independent forever but we all aspire to be just that, sometimes stuff happens. There will come a time when those supporting you will need you also and you can respond in kind because it is obvious to me that that is how you are wired.... and that's how true family is.

I see it that your current anxiety levels are way off the scale and so suggest a visit to your GP soon to reassess your medication if you indeed take any. For me the prime purpose of medication if to enable me to function to the point whereby I can keep up a schedule. Do you think you could make a GP visit at this time?

The most wonderful action I took to overcome anxiety was "muscle tensioning exercises". But like everything a mix of many things helped - a calm living environment, good friends, riding my life of toxic people and getting finances stable.

Please google

Beyondblue topic anxiety, how I eliminated it

Repost anytime.

TonyWK