A review of my life so far.

[Slippers]

• So, since I last shared here a number of things have happened, I haven’t sat still wallowing in pity .
  
  I have been to a psychiatrist (although I prefer the term counsellor) and I had employed the services of a life coach as well to get me back on track so to speak. I haven’t seen a medical doctor about this. I find myself stressing about things that I had done or things that may or may not happen in the future, I think my brain is addicted to stress, which really sucks. So, I decided to create a list of what’s good in my life and a list of my worries.
  
  Good.
  I have a full-time job and have been working over fifteen years.
  I get paid around 3k a month, and I’ve made enquiries on transferring to another department in the hope earn more cash.
  My manager is happy with my work and there is a prospect of a promotion or transfer out of the city CBD
  I own a car that I paid off with a bank loan
  I have almost cleared debts of $16000.00 since late last year having put a sizeable chunk of each pay into an interest earning bank account
  I have a roof over my head and my own bed to sleep in.
  I have family that love me in their own strange way
  
  
  
  Worries.
  I still live at home and I am in my late 40’s
  I don’t have much money saved, although I have been paying off debt. Though I was stupid with money growing up and not saving.
  Once my mother dies, I would have to leave home, and I don’t have a plan on what to do after that.
  I don’t feel I have the experience to live by myself having spent all my life up to now with other people, I am scared of the future (unknown)

I would like to have a plan for the future, I live day by day at the moment and I find myself scared of that hidden worry around the corner tomorrow. I’ve been told I should live in today, but its easier said that done. I am not having a go at myself when I share my worries, it’s the brutal truth.
So, I want to share this here to remind myself of the good stuff, but if anyone wanted to share their ideas on my worries, I would be very appreciative.

[smallwolf]

Hi Slippers,

welcome to beyond blue.

I sense from your post you have a little anxiety to deal with; with worrying about your mother dying, and having to leave home etc., which is why it has been suggested to live in the moment.

Can I ask how long you have been seeing the psychiatrist and life coach?

I don't know how long you have been worrying about things, but since you sound close to my age, it is has been for some time, then to "not worry" takes time, and hence the question I asked above.

And while you said that you don't experiences to live by yourself, you have cleared your debts and paid off your car. These are things that you would have done by yourself? So it seems that you have the necessary skills to look after yourself, for example with paying bills. And if you have spent your life with other people outside of your family, then you might also have a support network of people who can assist you with things that you have problems with.

If there was one thing that you could do to make life easier for yourself, what would that be?

Tim

[Slippers]

Hi Tim, firstly thank you for replying to my message.

Yes it is true in saying that I have some anxiety to deal with though I am refuse to let it rule my life which is why I posted this message in the first instance. The difference between having a good day and having a bad day is your attitude.
I stopped seeing the counsellor (psychiatrist) back in March this year because I felt I was going well and I felt I was rehashing the thoughts and feelings I had before over and over again, so I stopped. I completed work with the life coach in February; I have access to the content for life, the life coach wasn’t free.
I sometimes thought if I was living alone I wouldn’t have as many issues, but I don’t have the means to life alone (money) I don’t know if I have a network of friends who would support me in that way, while I do have good friends I feel I would be a burden on them in that way.
I feel like I have a lot of good things in my life and I want more, I want a house I can call my own, I want a life partner (I don’t want to live life alone), I don’t want the bad in my life.
If there was one thing I could do to make life easier, would be to let go of past regrets.
By taking the steps I need to keep working toward what I want in life. One way to do this was to vent my worries about this situation, brainstorm strategies to get out of it, or write about a more positive time in your life.