Anxiety over my mobile phone

[Jo3]

Hi everyone

I have a weird anxiety issue with regards to my mobile phone.  It is with me ALL THE TIME.  And I check my messages and emails every few minutes.  I can't seem to stop doing this.  

I email my psych and then check within a few minutes to see if he has replied back. And then I keep checking every few minutes.  It's getting to the point now that I hold my phone all the time wherever I go and whatever I do. 

It's affecting me even when we go away on holidays - this is all I seem to be doing (checking my msgs and emails).

 Any suggestions from anyone would be appreciated.  And don't say - just put the phone somewhere else or switch it off - because I can't do that.

 Jo

[Chloekat84]

I unerstand where your coming from Jo. I have phone on me constantly and dont know what i would do without it. I check it quite frequently but not to that excess. I think u should tell your doctor about this as you may have Obssessive Compulsive Disorder which is nothing to be ashamed of. Do you have any other habits that u perform over and over and like check locks etc? I know i do so sometimes i think i have mild OCD as my rituals need to be done a certain way every day but that just could  be me. Anyways if u think its a concern see your GP and if not then just keep doing what your doing. Take care x

[Jo3]

Hi Chloekat

Thanks for your reply.

It does sound like OCD doesn't it? I also have an obsession about emailing my psych all the time and wanting him to reply back to me straight away. But this may be a bit different, I don't know.

Can't think of anything else that I do so obsessively, but I know this phone thing is a problem. My hubby and kids have noticed it, I feel need to talk to my GP.  It really is driving me crazy.

Jo

[Chloekat84]

Hi Jo, I'm glad my post helped in some way. Even if it is just that you now notice its a problem and want to get some help. Dont be scared to go to your GP, they can really help professionally. Really hope it all works out for you. Take care x

[AGrace]

Hi Jo,

I was just wondering if your Psych has mentioned your constant emailing during your sessions? Has he offered any advice for this? Do you know why you like having your phone on hand at all times? Is it a safety thing? Is your phone set to alarm you when a new message/call/email comes through? Are you frightened that you will miss someone's contact with you?

I know I got so used to using my phone 24/7 with my job, when I left my job I had this constant theory that my personal phone was broken because I hardly ever received any contact. Are you able to phone your Psyche rather than emailing? Emails don't always come with an instant reply. What sorts of things are you emailing him about? Is it possible for you to contact Beyondblue instead of your Psych, or another help line? Are you physically seeing your Psych frequently enough?

As Chloe mentioned, this is definitely something worth exploring. What happens if you don't have your phone with you? What sorts of thoughts come up?

AG

[Jo3]

Hi Amber

Yes my regular therapist has mentioned my continuing emails to him and we have tried to come up with a plan as to stop but it hasn't worked.  I email him when I am not coping and I need to stop this as it is not right.

I can phone him but this is only in emergencies or to change an appt.  I guess I can come on here and vent out.  I see my psych fortnightly.

The phone issue is a big problem - it comes with me everywhere, even when I have a shower!!! I know this is becoming ridiculous and I am so embarrassed to say so.

I don't know why, need to explore the reason.  Maybe it's a comfort thing that I know I can contact anyone if need be; I do get a message when I have emails and text messages.  I know that my therapist doesn't email back instantly and when he doesn't I get so angry with him that I send him another email and it goes on and on and on.  And then I apologise to him for sending so many emails and then I say to him in the session - ok I won't send you anymore - but guess what - I still send them.  What is wrong with me, why can't I do what I say?  This is a BPD thing isn't it?

If i don't have my phone with me I feel totally lost like something is missing; if I lose it at home I need to instantly find it or know exactly where it is. This is so weird I know, I need to work through this with my psych.

Jo

[AGrace]

Hi Jo,

Yep, definitely sounds like a BPD thing. I'm wondering whether it stems from abandonment issues, or even all or nothing thinking. Abandonment in terms of if you don't get to contact people they won't contact you back, or feeling satisfied if people contact you because that means that haven't left you?? All or nothing thinking in terms of, either I have my phone and I use it, and if he doesn't email me back then that means he never will, which means he doesn't like me, and if I can't be in contact with people then maybe I'm hopeless??

Definitely something to explore. Despite not emailing him, what plan did he come up with that didn't work? Is he going to come up with another one? Maybe each week you could set yourself a goal to switch off your phone for 1/2 an hour each day. Then slowly increase the time. Perhaps it doesn't have to be a full 1/2 hour block in one go, maybe it's 5 minutes every hour to begin with. I don't think switching the phone off completely for a full day is the right answer, because that's just avoidance isn't it? Have you tried switching off the notifications for a short period of time?

I know it sounds like a strange one, but our problems are rarely easy:) Do I take it that you are still not in hospital? That's great if that's the case:)

Amber

[Jo3]

Hi Amber

No not in hospital, seeing my hospital pysch this Thursday. I'll see what he thinks about going to hospital.

You made a few good points that has made me think.  All or nothing - if I don't receive an email back from my psych I feel that he must hate me and thinks to himself oh here she goes again, it's damn Jo again. And if he doesn't reply, you're right, to me it feels like being abandoned. And it feels that no one loves me or thinks of me.

Switching off my phone - oh that sounds too difficult to do.  I just remembered that I even go to the tea room and check my emails and msgs every now and then while at work.  This is so bad, I don't know what to do anymore.

I will definitely bring this up with my psych and maybe at the BPD  support group meeting on Monday. Depends on how many people are there and if I feel comfortable.

Jo

[Jo3]

Hi all

I have been in hospital for 10 days in a mental health unit.

I had my mobile phone with me and this is one huge anxiety problem.  I have an obsession with my phone, where I need to check for messages, emails and posts every few minutes.  I have been doing this for quite a while but have just recently become aware that it's a problem.

While in hospital I lost my phone.  I had placed my phone on the dining table and as i turned around to grab my food the phone disappeared.  I looked around the dining area, checked my dressing gown pockets 100 times and still no phone.  I started to panic, walking very fast in a mad panic state.  Searched my room, no phone.  By this stage I was a complete mess, hysterical and crying.  I went up to the unit manager and told her I can't find my phone.  She helped me look for it and she finally found it at the office. Someone had picked it up off the table and handed it in to the office.  I was so relieved when she handed me the phone and said to me "there you go no one died".

But to me, losing my phone was like losing someone close.  It took a while for the anxiety to drop and later on that day I looked back and just thought to myself how stupid was that - me in an hysterical mess over my phone.

I have mentioned this to my therapist and he is going to help me next week with a plan of how to not obsess so much about my phone and to not look at the messages all the time.

I couldn't believe how my anxiety rose so fast and how it affected me mentally.

Jo

[AGrace]

Hi Jo,

Glad this is a work in progress for you. What did we ever do without mobiles and the internet? We only found one shop in the whole of Langkawi that sold post cards, a sign of the times:)

Oh and I'll take a look at BPD post.

Amber