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Anxiety over moving out of home

CeeCee33
Community Member
I just bought a house by myself and am moving out of my parents home in my late twenties but ever since I bought it I’ve been so upset. I know it will be good for me and that I need to start gaining independence, etc. but I love my parents so much and am devastated to leave. I can’t stop crying or feeling anxious about it because I’m going to miss this house and living with them. Has anyone else felt this way or have any advice?
9 Replies 9

Sophie_M
Moderator
Moderator
Hi CeeCee33,

Welcome to the forums and thank you for sharing your story with us here.

We are sorry to hear that you have been so anxious to move out of home. We understand this must be so stressful and overwhelming for you.  We just want to remind you that you never have to go through this alone, and support is always here for you.

If you would like to talk to someone, the Beyond Blue Support Service is available 24/7 by phone on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 1pm-12am AEST on our website: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport  One of our friendly counsellors will be able to talk through these feelings with you and can offer support, advice and referrals.

We hope that you will find some comfort here on the forums. 

Thankyou. It’s hard because as an only child I know my parents are upset I’m moving out too so I don’t want them to know how upset I am and make them feel worse. They’re excited for me so I don’t want to take that away from them.

Hi CeeCee33,

Welcome to the forums and thank you for sharing this with us.

Congratulations on buying a house in your late twenties! That is no easy feat.

I understand how you are feeling. I moved out and I'm an only child. I had a lot of mixed feelings around it, because on one hand I was excited to be having my own place but on the other hand I'd been living with my parents for so long.

I think the best advice I can give you is to let yourself feel both; it's okay to be laying in your new bed in your new house while wanting to be in your old bedroom, and it's okay to not want to move into your new house because you like living at home so much.

It was a big adjustment for my parents, especially at first because they were so used to me being around and I think it was hard for them, but it won't always be, and being 'empty nesters' can be a really good experience for them both.

I hope this helps a little

rt

Amelin_21
Community Member

First of all, congrats on getting your own place!

I know it's a huge achievement and also very daunting at the same time. It's like, we just expect that when we get our own place everything will be fine but in actual fact (from my POV) we get worse because we start to worry about all those little things associated with a house that we've never really had to deal with before.

I think the best way I could describe how I felt at first (and this was at least for the first year or two) is home sickness. I would cry because I would miss my family and I would worry because my mum would be on her own (my dad works interstate) and I know how clumsy she can be. This was only heightened during all the lockdowns we had.

It has taken some time to get my head to understand that (for me) my family are not very far away and I can ring them whenever I want/need.

My advice to you would be keep regular contact, as often as you need it - whether it be on the phone, zoom (which can be fun and you have some amazing laughing bouts with the fam) and/or in person having lunch/dinner - whatever you and your family enjoy. It may also help to maybe spend a weekend at your families home every now and then (stay over after dinner) if you can.

The most vital thing in my mind is be honest and tell them how you feel. If you miss them tell them, let it out because they're probably feeling the same way.

Sending loving vibes xx

jaz28
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi CeeCee,

i think having these emotions is only natural, you are for sure going to miss your parents and that's okay.

but i would be super proud of yourself for buying a house, that's an amazing achievement! you're allowed to be sad, but try to think of all the good times this new chapter of life will bring you. positivity is key!

i hope you're ok, i'm here to chat,

jaz xx

Thankyou for the kind advice RT- I’ve been feeling somewhat better about the move over the last month but getting the keys on Tuesday has brought back that dread. I’ll definitely remember when I’m there to let those feelings take their course and hopefully that will help purge them a bit!

Thankyou for the vibes, they are gratefully accepted 🙂

I took your advice and had a talk to them about staying over every now and then until I settle in- I think it will be less daunting that way without having to go “cold turkey”. And I will definitely take on board your advice about honesty and letting them know how I’m feeling

Take care!

CeeCee33
Community Member

Hi Jaz,

Thankyou for the encouragement! I’ve been feeling a lot better about it over the past month but since I’m getting the keys on Tuesday some of those feelings are coming back. I think planning things to do in the house and talking with my parents about them coming to visit has helped me stay positive so I’ll take your advice and make sure to keep that up!

Take care!

CT96
Community Member

Hey CeeCee, 

 

I am in the exact same situation as we speak. I’m moving out of my family home for the first time, and am so nervous about it! My husband works nights 4 days a week so I’m concerned how I’ll go being on my own of a night. I’m used to a boisterous household with all our family animals. 
I am very close with my parents and worry about how they’ll cope when I move. 

I am just wondering how you are going a year and a half on?