Anxiety or a death wish?

[amjeck]

I am wondering if i am suicidal if i dont want to live like i am anymore but i dont want to kill myself. Weird i know. I am so tired of fighting my anxiety so tired. i just think that if i could close my eyes and dissapear i would not feel anything anymore. i am so tired. i am going to see my doctor tomorrow cause i jsut did the test on this web site and it said 41. i can even write andymore.

[Daisychain]

I know exactly how you feel, just getting through the day is exhausting and it would be easier just to not get up at all, but I am sure there are people around you who would be devastated to know that you are thinking that.  Please tell someone and let me know how you are.

[TJ80]

Hi Amjeck

Please try and stay storng. I know how hard Anxiety can be. It is so hard at times, but it can be managed and you can live a lovely, happy life.  

Dont give up. Definately go see your Doctor or get some counselling and make a start on the process of learning about Anxiety and ways to manage it. Keep trying even when it is hard. It will be worth it in the end.

Stay in touch with Beyond Blue and talk to other people in similar situations, or call the help line and have a chat with someone. Life is precious and you deserve to enjoy it.  Best of Luck. 

[integrityguy]

Hi Amjeck

There are so many people who have been through similar things to what you're experiencing. You are so not alone. There are days you feel on top of things, and other days where you just scream inside your head "Why?!" "Why me?!" When you're physically and emotionally drained, I find it lowers your defences and increases your vulnerability.

It doesn't sound like you're suicidal but are more looking for an "off" button for the anxiety. If it were that easy, I wouldn't be posting on this forum. There is no "off" button, but it is possible to make anxiety take a back seat in your life. It's great that you're going to a doctor, and I really hope you have a strong support network, not just of medical professionals, but of people who you can lean on.

All the best.

[amjeck]

Thank you for your lovely supportive words. I am suprise that anyone even answered my letter. I felt so low and sad and tired. I went and saw my doctor and got some medication. I am feeling so much better. Hey i even went to a shop for the first time in 6months. YAY maybe things are going to get better!!

Thank you again

Kind regard

Amjeck