Anxiety is crippling at the moment

[Unforgettable_fire]

I am really struggling at the moment, about a month ago my mother had a massive heart attack. Throughout that time I've been to the hospital every day and also trying to arrange permanent in home care for when she gets discharged. I'm also trying to managing care for my father who has agoraphobia and anxiety and depression. I thought I was coping ok but the last week I've had this overwhelming fear that comes over me in the mornings and only starts to subside by about 5pm. I am also juggling some concerns I face with a tax debt which has really knocked the wind out of my sails. I am trying to put on a brave face for my parents but it is taking a lot of me to keep going and appear normal

[Croix]

Dear Unforgettable fire~

I'm so sorry your mum had that heart attack, I hope she is recovering. Often people feel badly about a parent needing home care, that in some way one is not doing enough. From the sound of it even wiht home care you are going to find matters very taxing.

How do you feel about all this?, not just the anxiety, but the practicalities?

Your dad, who I guess must have been ok after that operation, is someone who who would take a lot of time, attention and support and I wonder how your son, who is what, 17? is managing.

All this is give you a massive load, and not surprisingly after your mum's attack, you do not wake up without a sense of trepidation, waiting to so that might happen next.

You need care and support, home help yes, but also help that you might have had years ago as you mentioned in 2016, to help you cope and see your limits and not run yourself right down in the process, assuming you are a bottomless well of energy, care and love, as well as the person that does all the practical tasks.

So may I ask what medical support you have now? Waking up and living all day in fear is horrible, it needs reducing.

Do you have freinds or relations, anyone to confide in who will care and even perhaps help?

Tax debts, I've no advice except if you are in financial difficulties there are organizations such as the Anglicare Financial Services who can help you place thngs in order, and take advantage of matters you may not have heard of.

Putting on a brave face might be appropriate wiht your parent's I don't know, that's not always true and one can be surprised. But do not do it to yourself. I tried and all it did was isolate me and in the longer term make matters worse.

I hope we talk some more

Croix

[Guest_10130]

This is an old post, so im not sure if my comments will are too well down the track. However, many years ago i had a large tax debt, from starting a busienss and not many sales, plus slow income. I had started the busienss because i couldnt work in my trade anymore. I battled a dermatitus condition that within a few months i couldnt work with dirty hands anymore. So, i move to a sales oriented role and what a learning curve. I amassed a huge credit card debt and tax debt. Looking back it was a very stressful time, my hair was falling out from stress and chasing one bill to another. i really couldnt pay anything. I should have closed the busienss and moved on and gone bankrupt. It would have been less stressful and been able to move on. However, i kept fighting on, and dragged the process on for years. Eventually, i accepted large negotiations on the debts, and paid everything back. Business picked up and i started to understand what was needed to build it. I think back now and realise a bankruptcy would have fixed everything faster. and been back on my feet quicker. It was along time ago and now is a very different story.

If i had to go through it again, i woud see a financial counsellor. There are some support options to take the stresses away or minimise them. From my own case, i think when i talk to someone and had a way forward i felt alot better. As a side note, the ato did accept a lower payout amount from my original debt. It helped me get through.