Dear Unforgettable fire~
I'm so sorry your mum had that heart attack, I hope she is recovering. Often people feel badly about a parent needing home care, that in some way one is not doing enough. From the sound of it even wiht home care you are going to find matters very taxing.
How do you feel about all this?, not just the anxiety, but the practicalities?
Your dad, who I guess must have been ok after that operation, is someone who who would take a lot of time, attention and support and I wonder how your son, who is what, 17? is managing.
All this is give you a massive load, and not surprisingly after your mum's attack, you do not wake up without a sense of trepidation, waiting to so that might happen next.
You need care and support, home help yes, but also help that you might have had years ago as you mentioned in 2016, to help you cope and see your limits and not run yourself right down in the process, assuming you are a bottomless well of energy, care and love, as well as the person that does all the practical tasks.
So may I ask what medical support you have now? Waking up and living all day in fear is horrible, it needs reducing.
Do you have freinds or relations, anyone to confide in who will care and even perhaps help?
Tax debts, I've no advice except if you are in financial difficulties there are organizations such as the Anglicare Financial Services who can help you place thngs in order, and take advantage of matters you may not have heard of.
Putting on a brave face might be appropriate wiht your parent's I don't know, that's not always true and one can be surprised. But do not do it to yourself. I tried and all it did was isolate me and in the longer term make matters worse.
I hope we talk some more
Croix
