I’m struggling with relationship anxiety

goose1888 · ‎17-11-2019

Hey everyone,

I’ve been seeing someone new for the last month and a half or so, and whenever we’re in person I feel awesome and really at ease, but between dates I’m finding myself getting really in my own head. For example, we had a date yesterday and I feel like it went really well, and I messaged her after to say I had an awesome time and so on, then I didn’t hear back from her (and still haven’t) so I’m really anxious that it wasn’t as good as I thought it was or something. I’ve told her my feelings for her (that I like her) and she has said she likes me too and really enjoys being around me. I just keep getting anxious that somehow that’s changed, or she’s changed her mind about it, or something. It’s getting in the way of me being able to just enjoy dating, and just my day to day life. Could anyone offer some help so I can stop being so anxious about all of this?

_Nik_ · ‎17-11-2019

Hey, I struggle with similar stuff as you do, as I am constantly afraid that my close friend has died, because he didn't reply to my message. A few people have given me suggestions about how to deal with this stuff.

1. Combat the thoughts with a reasonable and logical explanation about why she hasn't replied (e.g. phone is dead, she's busy, she didn't get a notification)

2. Distract yourself with other things you enjoy to do, it helps to not think too much about it.

3. Talk to her about it. I often talk to my friend about what I'm scared about so he understands when I panic.

I hope this helps. I know it can seem frustrating sometimes.

- Nik

Katyonthehamsterwheel · ‎21-11-2019

As someone who has recently been dumped because of this - i'd suggest trying to get on top of it before it gets out of hand - which, of course, is what you're asking 🙂

Try to find ways to relax your mind with deep breaths and meditation, and challenging negative thoughts. If someone tells you they like you or they like being with you, then why not believe them? Look for evidence in your favour, not the other way around. I wish I had tried harder!