The warmest of welcomes to you at such an incredibly challenging time in your life 🙂
As a fellow 'collector of finding things that work', I'm wondering whether it could be time to add something new to your collection. Of course, if an SSRI is going to be the thing that works best, then that could be your thing for this occasion. Personally, I'll try just about anything new, within reason. Sometimes it'll be out of curiosity and sometimes out of sheer desperation. Also, I've found what works can involve a single thing and then there are times where what works involves a recipe for success, with a list of ingredients (meditation, mindfulness, exercise, diet etc). At the end of the day, I think we'll feel what makes a difference and what doesn't.
While yoga was never really my thing, at the start of 2023 it became my thing (out of desperation). I booked 5 one on one sessions with a yoga instructor, hoping this would help me manage my stress. A number of stresses had accumulated throughout the year before, leading me to develop anxiety. It was during the 4th session, in a guided yoga meditation that I found myself having a major vent. I was stunned by how much I was suddenly sobbing uncontrollably. So much had built up over time and here it was all coming out at once. The instructor was brilliant, supporting me and advising me that this was not unusual, this kind of release. It was very therapeutic. While I didn't continue with yoga after the 5 sessions ended, I've added yoga to my basket or collection of 'go to' things for my mental, physical and even soulful wellbeing. I may use it again in the future or I may not but the fact remains it's there to be accessed again if need be. With the one on one aspect of the yoga sessions, I'd say it's like one on one therapy, as opposed to gaining therapeutic benefits in a group (aka 'group therapy'). Btw, I've participated in group therapy before, post natal depression group therapy many years back. Group therapy his its benefits too. What serves us best will be different under different circumstances.
With the body and mind having so much to process from a traumatic event, could yoga be your thing, something that accommodates that kind of processing, or maybe talk therapy (psychotherapy) or perhaps something else? Can be hard to know where to start looking when it comes to what's going to work. To begin wondering is a good start.
