Hi nic98
Yes, anticipation of any event can, literally, send you into a frenzy. I used to work myself up to the point where I would be physically sick beforehand, however, once I was in the situation, even though I wasn't entirely comfortable, the feeling of wanting to jump out of my skin, settled. It sounds as though your anxiety might take a slightly similar form to mine.
You were wound-up before going to work today, but once you were there you were fine. Telling you to try not to think about it is pointless, because of course you'll think about it.
Can you accept that you might experience the similar feelings that you did today; you may feel very uncomfortable until you are at you workplace, but as with today, once there you will very likely feel absolutely fine. Is there something you could plan to do during your lunch hour that you can look foward to? Window-shopping, having something a little special to eat at lunchtime, or perhaps going somewhere fairly quiet and making a list of activities you'd like to do eventually - a new skill you'd like to learn (perhaps a musical instrument), or list places you'd like to visit when your mood stabilizes (and it will stabilize with professional help and work).
To get you through this evening, until you take your meds, could you do a few things to divert your attention? Things such as having a relaxing hot bath while listening to music, watching a DVD or movie (I find humour especially helpful). You need alternative stimulation other than thinking about how anxious you are. Occasionally, if I'm very wound up, I'll put on a few favourite CDs (usually 'rock') and just dance till I begin to feel tired - very effective. As with any physical exercise, your brain will eventually begin to release endorphins - the "feel good" chemicals - and this really can lower the anxiety levels.
I hope the few things I've listed help or provide a springboard for you to come up with activities that you're drawn to. Time doesn't stand still; everything is temporary. This evening will pass (although it might be difficult) - nothing is permanent, even anxiety.
Don't forget that if you become overwhelmed and need to speak to someone, the professionals on the Beyondblue Helpline are excellent - kind, patient and encouraging with the expertise to give you very practical advice.
Will be thinking of you tomorrow. LH
