Anxiety & depression 18 years

[Rain81]

I am new to this forum, my anxiety and depression started quite young, I was about 15 and in high school when I first started feeling anxious and it just engulfed me from there on. I cannot leave my house without having someone I know and trust with me. Having been on a myriad of different medications and seeing many psychologists and psychiatrists , Centrelink granted me the disability pension 2 years ago, it is now currently " under review"  because of new rules. I should be able to go have a psych evaluation with it only causing me great anxiety, but last August my grandpa whom I was very close with passed away, and things like this Centrelink business not only cause anxiety but I find myself breaking down with an unbearable feeling of not being able to cope. I hope this made sense, it's 3 am. also hopefully right place for this thread

[AngeF]

Hi,

I can relate to your experience, I too suffered from anxiety in my teens. I believe it all began when my parents went through their divorce. I am now in my 40's, and have overcome depression, anxiety and schizophrenia. 

Its still affects me and has an influence on my life, but I have never let it keep me down. I have found that my hobbies have helped me keep on track and focus on pleasurable things. It also helped me get out of the house and keep social.

Now I have a great family and work full time, I also am a photographer part time. This allows me to focus on the things I enjoy and not the problems I have.

Can you get into any activities out of the house? 

[Rain81]

Thanks for your reply AngeF, I am trying to keep up with gardening in the backyard, a new hobby, trying to keep up with writing and various hobbies, I have quite a few, it's just hard to get started when getting out of bed is hard. I go through stages where I want to curl up and not leave my room

[Rain81]

Also I can't leave the house without someone, when I have my panic attacks I black out if I don't sit down x

[Selkie]

Hello Rain81,

what Angef stated is completely true. As someone diagnosed with depression and anxiety. The moment you let it 'overcome' you, is the moment you lose. 

firstly, is your medication/dosage correct? Doctors these days hand out drugs like its Christmas. Getting the right advice and the right prescription is tricky, it involves speaking with professionals not just your run of the mill psych or doctor. I suggest places like the psych ward at concord hospital. 

Secondly, sitting around at home will make things worse. Yes going outside is hard, but you need to force yourself. The sun is probably one of the best medicines. 

Lastly, centrelink. Working is one of the best distractions. Everyone at my work knows I suffer from both depression and anxiety, whilst I am medicated for the depression, panic attacks will cripple me within seconds. As a sous chef, usually leading the leading a brigade, my colleagues know of this. And are more then eager to assist to ease the attack. Be honest to employers and you will find a distraction that pays you ^.^ 

[Rain81]

I do try leave the house to do my food shopping etc I'm always with mum though, I was diagnosed with agoraphobia and at my worst didn't leave the house for about 6 months, I never want that to happen again! I do think my medication needs to be reassessed, I have been scared to change to be honest because I have had some severe side effects with different meds.

Although working would be ideal (stability, money, self worth!) I have no license, and have never been able to use public transport on my own, I also find myself crying in front of people, I mean just breaking down! And I find it so embarrassing, I've always been able to contain myself until I'm alone, but not lately. I am seeing my doctor tomorrow, hopefully it will be a start for things getting a bit better