Anxiety at work, My personal life is getting destroyed

[Seeker12]

Hi All,

I am working mother of 2 kids. I have a beautiful family. My husband is very supportive as well. Just to give you a background. I have joined my work back after 10 months career break. I decided to take that break to take care of my kids. I used to be very stressed at work and that was impacting my personal life.

Now I have joined back , this is my third week and I have started getting feelings of failure again. Thoughts like, what the other person will think of me, I keep saying sorry to others and sometimes it feels like I want to speak but my voice is not coming from my mouth. Other times I speak but not loud enough that other person will hear me. I feel like I am not capable enough to do the work. But I will have to work because of finances issues.

This is all impacting my relationship with my husband and kids. There are nights when I don't do anything just sit down and keep crying. I can't explain to my kids and I dont want them to think I am weak. I feel scared. There is some heaviness on my chest all the time.

I would like to add one more thing which I think is important one. My native language is not english but I am leaving in sydney. so I do have language issues, I can't mingle with people easily.

My company is really good and people are very supportive. But it is just me which is killing me inside.

[PamelaR]

Hello Seeker and welcome to Beyond Blue

Life sounds very full on for you. Being a mum, a worker, a wife and the house manager is a lot of work. It can take it’s toll on people when they least expect it. Thankfully, some organisations are recognising the importance of a work / homelife balance. Not all yet, but maybe sometime in the future.

Having been out of your career for 10 months can make a difference too. Things change over this short period of time. So I can well imagine how you must be feeling. It’s a very normal response for someone returning after being away for awhile. So be gentle on yourself.

It sounds like you could do with someone to talk to? Sydney is a huge city and making friends I think isn’t easy.

Do you have family in Australia? Are you able to talk with them? Talking does help. We all need someone to share our thoughts and feelings with. There are a few support services out there if you need -

• Lifeline 13 11 14

• Beyond Blue 1300 224 636

From what you say I see how you are feeling impacts on your relationship with your husband and kids. Have you been to see your doctor? Maybe you might find it helpful to see a health professional, e.g. a psychologist?

Sometimes, it might be as easy as finding something for yourself - a hobby, a sport, a club? I know many woman put so much of their time into their family and work and very little time for themselves.

Hope some of this helps. Keep reaching out if and when you want to Seeker, you’re not alone.

Kind regards
PamelaR

[Seeker12]

Thanks PamelaR for your kind reply.

I do have family and friends here. I was keeping it with myself but I think I should discuss this with my family.

I have joined gym and set myself a goal. I wanted to distract myself from the work related thoughts.

Thanks a lot again for your reply.