Anxiety at Work Leaving Me Paralysed

[Soleggiata]

Hi everyone,

Has your workplace and their culture made your mental health worse?

Work (and working from home in general) has made my anxiety skyrocket. Last week I was having constant anxiety attacks from my workload and the idea of not being able to get through it. I was so worked up that even hours after finishing for the day I couldn’t sit still or speak properly.

I have since spoken to my boss and had my workload reduced but I’m still feeling overwhelmed and so sick to my stomach that it took me an hour to actually start my day and once I did I kept needing to take little breaks to walk around the house or make coffee. Worst of all I cannot stop crying.

I have been looking for a new job for months, but just don’t have to confidence I once did to try, and again it feels overwhelming.

I want to resign but I am scared of the shame I will feel about giving up.

I don’t know how to pull myself together anymore to get through this and I feel hopeless. Have you experienced this and how did you make it out the other side?

[Gambit87]

Hi Soleggiata,

Welcome to the forums.

I know how you must feel, I've experienced something similar.

working at home was terrible for me. I realised I needed the office environment to function properly.

I've been in my job for a little over 10 years now. Its the very definition of a dead end job as there are no pathways for advancement or opportunities to learn and for the longest time it made me feel like I was stuck in a rut, worthless and trapped with no way out. Even though I'm in a great team with a great boss and the work isnt that difficult I guess I just wanted more but I just couldnt get there. Id always get headaches and stomach pains and i didnt sleep well, particularly on sundays because I knew what monday meant.

Long story short - I started seeing a psychologist and my whole view on my job has changed. Yes, its the same dead end job, but its a job I can work at for 8 hours a day then dust my hands of it. I actually feel lucky to have this job, especially since covid. With the help of my psychologist I have kinda accepted it (if that makes sense) and my anxiety around work is almost non existent. The headaches/stomach pains have disappeared and im sleeping better.

If you dont mind me asking - what is it about work thats troubling you?

Are you able to talk it out with your friends/family? even a psychologist? Talking about it really helped me.

Do you do self care things outside of work? walks/hobbies etc ?

Its difficult, but you can get through this.

[Candice5]

Hi Soleggiata

I'm also in a very stressful and busy job which I find overwhelming sometimes. I know how you feel. My colleagues are all very competent and clever and in comparison to them I feel very ordinary. I feel as though some of my team members are disappointed in me. I think they expected more. I also have a teenage daughter at home and I have clinical depression. Some days it's hard not to cry. Today I cried in front of a support worker who was just asking some questions about my daughter. It can be tough and we are our own worst critics. I often wonder if I'm in the right profession. I'm in tertiary administration and it's a very hard industry. Remember, you aren't alone. I have seen and heard of others in my office doing it tough. It's hard when you are positive that everyone else is better than you. I hope you can get support from a friend or counsellor. Please know that there are many of us in the same boat and I reckon it helps to know that. One day at a time.

[Soleggiata]

Hey,

Thanks for your reply, I am pleased to hear seeing a therapist has empowered you to see your job as just job! That life exists outside those walls and to see the positive in a once stressful situation.

I am seeing a psychologist once a fortnight - which I feel is not enough given where my head is at. They were unwell for my last appt so I have to wait a month now to see them which really threw me into a spin mentally.

there are two things that really bother me about work. Firstly, managers are very aggressive and combative, which I think kicks in my flight or fight constantly causing me greeeeat anxiety over small problems I can easily resolve if I had the space to think independently. Secondly, I have guilt over the fact I think I have let myself down career wise.

My self care is terrible and I avoid engaging in healthy habits because, well I want to say I am lazy but really I think it’s because I’m so tired from carrying my anxiety around. I have hobbies such as singing which and I continue to go to lesson despite feeling like I’m at the bottom of the barrel at the moment.

[Soleggiata]

You are so right, it helps to know other people also experience similar emotions.

I can only imagine how hard it would be for you to manage your mental health and care for your daughter. Mums are amazing people!

I hope things get better for you in the future, all the best

[Gambit87]

Hi Soleggiata,

I can see how the agressiveness/combative managers can cause anxiety, do you have anyone (work people/friends/family) to talk to about it? I know those feelings of letting yourself down career wise. I feel the last 10 years of my work life has been wasted because I havent moved up or advanced my skills or anything like that. Thankfully because TAFE fees have been reduced (Im in WA) Im taking a cert IV next year.

carrying around anxiety is so tiring, you look for any excuse not to do anything. I find starting small and building up is a great way to get out of the anxiety rut.

Hope you're doing well.