Anxiety and work issues

[Louisiana11]

Hello all, this is my first post here!

I am a full time uni student who recently requestsed more part time hours added to my work contract. As my anxiety and depression have been under control for quite some time and I thought I could handle it

with the extra hours came more demands than I expected and now I'm back in the pit. I can sleep, my anxiety has fully taken hold again.

to me uni is my number 1 priority, so I know I need to ask for a reduction in my working hours.

now I'm stuck in this awful head space, I'm terrified of asking for a reduction in my shifts incase they don't take it well, but I can't keep living like this as it's effecting everything in my life

if anyone could help me out, that would just be amazing

thanks 😊

[The_Abyss]

Hi Louisiana -

I can't help, but just to let you know I hear you.

Speak to work - thank them for listening and increasing your hours, but let them know that you uni is more demanding than you expected, and ask if it's possible to go back to the hours you had. "Sorry to stuff you around, but ....". "Uni is harder than I thought it would be this year and I find I'm not coping with the extra work afterall. Can we go back to how it was please?". The worse they can do is say no. You have built it up worse in your mind than the reality (because that's what we all do!)

Alternatively, can you reduce your load at uni and do the increased work? What is more important at the moment? (Is uni really the priority?) Maybe a better question is, why did you want more work hours? Was it a feeling of expectation? That trying to be all things to all people and failing at them all (god how I know that one!). Was it needing more money? Feeling more normal?

I find I can relate. I am working a full time uni load on top of part time work and a dozen other commitments. I told work in January that come March I couldn't do any more extra work because of the demands of uni. They didn't listen, and have increased my work hours to cover demand. I am drowning, but rather than doing anything about it, I am self sacrificing, beating myself up, drowning in the pit I have created. I could reduce uni, but I don't want to. I need to finish. Instead, I find myself paralysed - a whole day has gone and I have achieved nothing. I know I need to set small goals....just do an hour of this subject before emails, Facebook, Beyond Blue, TV, whatever. Break it down to manageable chunks. So hard to do when you are drowning, but worth a try.

The lack of sleep isn't helping. It's a viscous circle - the depression and feelings of being overwhelmed stop the sleep, and because you aren't getting sleep, you feel more overwhelmed. Same technique - I am going to sleep for 2 hours, then I'll allow myself 1 hour of social media only. I can then choose sleep again, or I have to do an hour of uni work. (Says she who has had only 6 hours of sleep in the last 2 days and is again on social media at 2 in the morning!).

Accept that you are in this headspace. Allow yourself to wallow for a day or two, but then commit to the things you have to do. I have found journaling helps when I am in that head space - I can say all the things in writing that I could never say out loud. I can be "me".

Good luck 🙂

[Croix]

Dear Louisiana~

Your first post is welcome and presents a pretty clear picture of the problem as you see it. This may be accurate or 'built up' as Abyss suggests.

Amongst other things I suffer from chronic anxiety and have a tendency to firstly think a particular course of action is vital -non negotiable, and secondly stress far too much about the possible results of doing something, thinking up all sorts of unpleasant consequences.

I don't know why you wanted more work, finances I guess, but if you were already flat out something else has to give. A longer term to your qualification might not be the end of the world. Similarly telling your employer you bit off more than you could chew or that uni suddenly demanded more time is not such a bad thing to try.

I tried to keep going with too much and lost the lot.

Although you say you have anxiety and depression and they have been under control you don't actually mention if you are diagnosed and currently under treatment. If you are it sounds as if your treatment needs a review.

If not then, if I was in your shoes, I'd go to my GP for a long consultation and ask to be tested for those conditions, then see what happens. (I find writing everything down first and sharing the paper helps).

I'd also visit the Mental Health Facility at the uni, they may well be able to help in terms of deadlines, penalties and other matters. They will be confidential.

Some things to think abut I guess. Please post back and say how you are going

Croix

[The_Abyss]

Hey Louisiana - just checking in on you.

How are you doing? I hope you are OK?

Any update on the uni / work imbalance?

Sending you good vibes....