Anticipatory Anxiety - Terrified of Something Happening

Flora1002 · ‎19-12-2022

'Hi, I'm new on here. Not completely sure how this works but I'm struggling with anxiety. I'm turning 17 in a month, and I think I have sth called 'anticipatory anxiety' - that's what an online counsellor told me on HeadSpace.

I'm on edge almost every day and scared constantly. I'm worried that something bad might happen to me, and that thought keeps crossing my mind many times through the day. Like, when I'm out in the car with my parents, I keep having that thought and keep checking the road to 'prevent' a possible car crash, or I'm terrified of sleeping, because I'm worried something might happen to me during the night. It's an irrational fear, but I can't get rid of it, and I think it came about a few weeks ago when I realised something could happen to me at any time.

I even keep doing irrational things to try and 'prevent' anything bad from happening. Like I say or don't say certain things, or put my bag or other objects in certain places or in certain positions, or don't sleep with certain blankets because they're a certain colour etc. I'm generally a calm and rational person, so this is very odd behaviour coming from me. And I know it's odd and irrational, I know the whole thing's irrational, but I just can't get rid of the anxiety.

I can generally be a worrier, but it's something I can handle usually, but this is getting out of hand - it's disrupting my sleep, my eating, my general activities and my relationships and I'm just not sure what to do. I've tried anxiety apps and grounding exercises but nothing seems to help. I want to tell my parents, but I'm embarrassed and I don't want them to worry.

I feel like I'm alone and no one would understand my problem, bc I haven't seen or heard of anything like it. I'm also worried about whether there's a solution or not. I'm desperate for help, but I just can't make myself tell my parents and they're pretty much the only place I could get support besides here.

Anyway, I'd really appreciate any advice or support or tips or anything at all. Thank you 💜.

Cassia

HelloGail · ‎19-12-2022

Cassia, Firstly, visit a GP, get a check up. Being 17 as you say you are, 17 is like a transition period that we are on a journey from childhood into adulthood. Our heart rate is up as we are becoming alert to our environment eg home life, school, work etc. We just need to slow it a little by looking after ourselves, eating naturally lots of fruit & veg, water, exercise, walking and relaxation exercises. It is no use fighting it but by using those tools of relaxation you are not alone you have it as a defence against those random feelings that leads to stressful thoughts. I hope this may help you. Oh I would listen to calm music; some music can be intense that it can change our moods. .

Flora1002 · ‎19-12-2022

Hi, yes, I had a checkup recently, but not for this problem so I'm trying to work up the courage to tell my parents and go to the GP. You're completely right, music has a huge effect, it helps me a lot. I listen a lot to Joshua Bassett, he has a couple great songs about mental health and his journey with it. Anyway, thank you for your kind advice 😊.

romantic_thi3f · ‎20-12-2022

Hey Cassia,

Welcome and glad to see you! 😊

All anxiety is anticipatory 🙂 That's kind of the point! It's fear of the unknown- sometimes that unknown is kind of realistic, sometimes not so much.

I can assure you that you are not alone. I've struggled with anxiety and I still find myself having scary thoughts about things really unlikely to happen. I've also had lots of chats with people on here with the same types of thoughts.

Some even have OCD like traits, and find it necessary to do certain things and having things a certain way to alleviate the anxiety a bit. You mentioned the bag and the blankets, other times it can be clothing or lightswitches. Everyone's anxiety is a bit different.

What did the counsellor at headspace say?

rt

HelloGail · ‎21-12-2022

Thank you, I will look up Joshua Bassett's music. It sounds like you're on the right track. Your parents may surprise you, they would surely appreciate your trust in them by opening up. I never did when I was young, times are different now so find the right place and time to open up to them. Best wishes!