Why doesn't my boyfriend understand

[Chelsea95]

my boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years, a year ago I started having terrible anxiety attacks to the point of shaking and vomitting but not only that I would spend hour and hours laying in bed and crying. I find it so hard to leave the house and socialise with people at times without having an anxiety attack I'm taking medication and trying to work on it now. This has made it so hard on my relationship as I find my partner is never understanding of how I feel at these times he often thinks I 'put on an act' so I don't have to go anywhere. I find it so hard to trust him because he never takes me seriously and think I always over react. I'm alway so paranoid his cheating on me, he always seems to be so secretive and I don't leave the house or see/talk to people very often. I'm so confused

[geoff]

hi Chelsea, I feel sorry for you having these anxiety attacks and especially having to vomit, because it all builds up to the point where you have to be sick, that's horrible, and I know exactly what you mean, and when a situation arises where you may have to go out then all this pressure starts to build up, your heart beats so much quicker, dry in the mouth and you start to sweat, so all of this isn't a 'put on act' it's real.
If you are able to leave the house to go and see your doctor that would be advisable, but it's a catch-22 where you do have to leave so that your medication can be reviewed.
In regard to your b/friend has there ever been any doubt in the past that he could be tempted into being fond of other girls, not as each one of us does, but a have a crush on somebody else, by being more overly fond of someone such as touching them or kissing them or any indication that you feel as though he would want to have contact with them.
If this is something you have been worried about in the past and by him being secretive then there could be a chance.
Hope to hear back from you. Geoff. x

[TheSteve]

Hi Chelsea,

Thanks for sharing and sorry to hear what you are going through. Anxiety is very common, you are not alone here although I know first-hand that you feel like the world is caving in on you everytime the anxiety cloaks itself around you. Rest assured, it is not. Also, you have more control over it than you think.

What is the one common, consistent, and sure thing that is happening when your anxiety is building? I'll give you a hint - your thinking mind. Your thinking mind is ALWAYS engaged in bringing about, and stoking the flames of, anxiety. Through the practice of mindfulness, you can tame your thinking mind and thus control everything it creates. Just google search "mindfulness" and being your journey.

You should also pick up a copy of THe Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle, and The Tao of Natural Breathing by Dennis Lewis. You will learn much from these books which will help you overcome this.

Also, ensure you are speaking to a behavioural therapist weekly for now, this is priceless help on your road to recovery.

You can and will get past this, you just have to untangle the knot that is your thinking mind. Your life will improve markedly when you do. All my best to you.

Steve