Struggling with Uni, classmates in my cohort won't help..

[nevergiveup245]

Hello everyone,

I am currently in Uni where I have to do a 10,000 words thesis as well as do coursework subjects. I found that my friends just like to talk about random things, and when I actually ask some of them for advice regarding assignments that we all have to do, they often say they are not sure, when I know they are smart students.

Is it common in Uni where friends won't help? I am also wondering did I ask them too much that I upset them... I am not sure what to do. Due to my depression which got worse these past few weeks, I lost confidence in my ability to study and do well. I find it hard to focus. In uni they encouraged independent learning, but are there any resources I could use to help me with my studies? I feel quite lost.

Any support or advice would be appreciated.

[quirkywords]

Nevergiveup

WElcome to the forum. This is a caring, friendly place here people are supportive.

Sometimes students maybe lost like you so they can't help or they are afraid someone may copy their ideas or they have not even started to think about the essay.

Can you get any help at university as I know they have counsellors and study advisors who can help students. It may help if you can get some help. There may even be a course you can enrol in to give you better study skills.

Depression does affect ones confidence. I remeber when I wa a student I found it hard to study but if I just kept trying and did not give up I could finish assigmnents.

Sometimes I would write my reference ist /bibliography first so I would not have a blank page, then a title page etc.

There is a lot of help it's how to write a thesis and if you do a little bit each day and plan it well, this will give you confidence.

I like your name so never give up . Post here as much as you want.

All the best

Quirky

[Peppermintbach]

Hi nevergiveup245,

You sound like you’re really struggling. You must be feeling very stressed and nervous, not to mention your depression on top. That’s a lot on your plate...

Um, to answer your question. I think it depends. I feel some people will have friends who are more open to helping each other out academically and others, less so...sorry, not a very helpful reply.

I’m glad Quirky has thoughtfully offered her views and wisdom. Perhaps I will add have you considered seeking counselling at uni?

I know you might be more interested in study tips than counselling. But perhaps your uni counsellors can share strategies with you to help you manage your depression and stress which, in turn, will help you manage your study load better.

In addition, most unis probably have learning centres for academic advice so perhaps have a look around your uni’s website(s) and see what comes up. Just a gentle suggestion...

Caring thoughts,

Pepper

[Croix]

Dear Nevergiveup245~

Both Quirky and Pepper have given good advice. I'd like to add a couple of things. Friends may not be the best advisors in any case. Universities are places that help students learn and do have resources to do just that.

Your lecturers and tutors are a good first stop when seeking help. I often used to show similar work to students to give them an idea of what was expected and also point them towards study groups. Most lecturers and many tutors have formal contact hours when you can see them.

You mentioned depression. If you are under a doctor's care for this you can visit your university's Disabilities Service. A confidential department that helps with such things as academic penalties and deadlines. They can be very helpful.

Quirky's tip of getting something down is a pretty good one. You start with one thing and that leads to another. It's like in exams where one always does the easy questions first.

You are not alone, most students face this sort of difficulty, but it does sort out. Its in the uni's interest for its students to do well.

Croix

[nevergiveup245]

Thank you everyone for your responses. I am already in the process of regustering with disability service. Just trying to get through each day and have something done.

[quirkywords]

Never give up,

thanks for getting back and letting us know how you are going.

Ihope you can access the disability hassle quickly. Let us know how you go. There is help out there

Take care

Quirky

[Croix]

Dear Nevergiveup245~

I'm please you had already thought to access Disability Services, you are going about things in a sensible way.

Depression is sensitive to pressure and stress. It does respond to treatment. As a result it makes sense to lessen the pressure, and of of course get the treatment. I presume that you are under a doctor's care, if not now is the time to start. It was my path to recovery.

So was easing pressure, in your case maybe by reducing the workload. Although it was a while ago now I only studied part time for exactly that reason, it worked and actually had a side-benefit. With more time to devote to each unit I did better. Do you have any room to maneuver there? It's better to get some done well than struggle trying to do the lot.

Do you have a family or anyone to give you support? Trying to battle the hard things in life alone is not always a good idea. Having someone to share worries with can really lighten the load and make improvement happen quicker.

What do you do to relieve stress? Exercise, read? That's some of what I do, it does help a fair bit too.

Croix