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Step mum trouble

Community Member

I use to be close with my dad but he never pays attention to me because my step mum doesn't let him and she is very controlling of him and she always has to get me in trouble it's like she gets hot from it as I don't know what to do I feel so angry 

3 Replies 3

Community Member

Does anyone else's step mum hate them ad always get them in trouble over the stupid things 

Hi Chaseissad, 

A big welcome to the forums and thank you for sharing whats been going on for you. We know it isn’t easy sharing your first post and being so open, but we think it’s a great thing to do. Thanks for sharing what’s going on in your family. We’re sorry to hear how you're feeling about your step mum and how that's effecting your relationship with your dad.

Please know you are not alone in this situation, remember there are a few places you can reach out to any time who’d be really happy to talk this through with you. If there’s a counsellor at school, that’d be a good start. If that sounds a bit full on right now, there’s our lovely Support Service team, on 1300 22 4636 or online.

There are also our friends over at KidsHelpline on 1800 55 1800, and Headspace on 1800 650 890– we’ve heard great things about each of these services from young people like yourself who just want a bit of help getting through difficult times in their lives, particularly with family. We’re sure we’ll hear from the Forums community here, once they spot your post. In the meantime, here’s a few bits and pieces online we thought you might find interesting: 
We hope some of that is helpful. Feel free to come back to your thread whenever you feel comfortable, we’re here to help you work through this.  

Kind regards, 

Sophie M 

Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Hi Chaceissad


I can understand why you'd be feeling angry. Sounds like there's some frustration there, some resentment, disappointment and more. All that stuff can add up to anger.


I think sometimes it's not necessarily about a person's title (Mum, Step mum, Dad, teacher, etc), it's more about the person and their way of thinking and seeing things. For example, if your Dad's always been the kind of person who'll listen to the reasons for why you do the things you do and someone else just refuses to listen to reason or reasons, you could say your dealing with an unreasonable person. My 18yo son and 21yo daughter typically won't reason with their father because he's pretty closed minded. On the other hand, I'm open to reason, so my kids will discuss more things with me. I should add that my kids have taught me to be a more reasonable person, so I give them a lot of the credit for me being this way.


Do you try and talk to your step mum but she doesn't want to listen? Is your dad different? Has he always been someone you can talk to? If he has, maybe having a chat with him and saying something like 'Dad, I miss us being able to talk like we used to' might get his attention. Maybe he's not fully aware of the fact you both don't talk like you used to. Maybe it's something you need to wake him up to. We parents can be a bit asleep at times and need a bit of a wake up call. Does your dad know how you feel or is it something you need to start discussing with him, so that he can start helping with finding solutions?