Really worried that the girl I like doesn't like me back. Please Help.***Long Description***

[the_one_1]

So sorry for this really long description. It goes through my problem and why I’m depressed. Some of you might think I’m depressed about a stupid reason but I just hope you understand its difficult for me and I hope you can help.

I really like this girl and it seems she is showing me signs of liking me back. But I’m not sure exactly if she has something back and it’s making me really depressed. I’m falling behind in my schoolwork, can’t concentrate on my schoolwork, not being able to sleep properly, loosing appetite, my parents are always getting angry at me and its due to this situation which makes me upset and i'm always feeling down. No one seems to help me but who ever I try to ask for help from they ask me to ask her out. It’s too hard for me to just ask her out without knowing if she has some feeling towards me. The other problem that has made me upset was that I had asked out a previous girl I liked about a month ago and she lied about wanting to go out with me. Can someone please help me out with the signs she has been showing me and tell me if she likes me back more than friends?

SIGNS SHE LIKES ME

I had asked out a girl who said yes but lied about wanting to go out with me. The girl I like now was surprised that I asked out a girl saying that I have a girlfriend but now, she doesn't know that the girl I asked out lied. On the same day a boy told me that the girl I asked out was lying about wanting to go out with me. This girl (who I like now) said "Talk to her and find out if she has mutual feeling for you and if she actually wants to go out with you. Just to make sure. She is a nice girl, I don't think she will be lying." saying it with a sad face and tone. On the same day, she said she wondered why guys don't ask her out. (She said this when I was close to her but not directly to me).

The day or two after finding out I asked out a girl, she was talking about our essay project to me and another girl. She read one of the paragraphs and she looked at the girl 3-4 times and to me 7-8 times when reading it. I told her that I thought it was a good paragraph and she was smiling a bit.

Before she found out I asked out a girl she showed signs that to me told me she likes me...

When talking to me about my schoolwork, she touched/tapped my arm and later my back (this has never happened with other girls). Also her hand was close to mine and she didn't move her hand away and when passing pencils and pens to each other, she always made a way for me to touch her hand or her to touch my hand.

When in class one time, I sat next to this girl and randomly she asked how many kids I would like to have when older. I said how many my partner wants to have but below a certain amount. Without me asking her she just randomly said she wanted a certain amount of children. She was sitting next to one of her girl friends in the class and she didn't really notice anything happen and the question wasn't directed to her.

She talks to me and asks questions about my life (If I have brother or sisters) and random questions (If I can do cross eyes, How many children I want when older, about the sport we both like)

She looks at me a lot. She also leans backwards towards me when sitting in class (she sits in front of me).

We were talking in a group and I did something and she said we have to have dinner before we go there and was laughing/smiling

she yelled my name out in a public place (school excursion) when she was with her girl friends and also in class (when in class she yelled my name out a lot throughout the lesson). It was also someones birthday on that same day as the excursion and her friend offered me some cake and she said that she made it.

She also enjoys the sport I like and the girl I asked out doesn’t really talk about the sport. (Seems to have things in common to me)

One of her good girl friends stare/look at me in one of the classes I'm in with her. When I walked passed her group, one of her girl friends looked at me as I walked passed.

During exams and every time I see her after the exam she looks/stares at me. One time she was in her group and I saw her looking at me but I walked passed her. After I saw her with another guy (might has kissed on the cheek) (this guy has a girlfriend) and she looked at me. The next day of exams, she walked passed where I was standing and her eyes seemed to follow where I was standing.

During exams, the girl I like was with her friends stared at me two times. Both times I caught her and she looked away. After, I noticed the girl one of her friends looked at me along with the girl I like, I caught them and they looked away and carried on talking. Then I caught of her friends looking at me, I caught them and they looked away. When the girl I like and her friends looked at me, they didn’t laugh or smile at me. They just looked at me, looked away and continued talking to each other.

A guy did something to annoy her and she looked back at me. When we reached a fairly open space, she started to walk slowly like she wanted me to talk to her.

As she walked passed my group, I noticed her glance in my direction. When she passed by my group going back to her group, she looked at me clearly. This happened when she was with her girl friend.

I sat in front of her in a lecture and could feel her foot rubbing/touching my chair. When walking out of the lecture, I saw her friend smiling when walking next to me.

SIGNS SHE IS SHOWING WHICH CONFUSE ME

The girl I like was with her friend and was walking in the direction I had to walk, when they noticed I was walking the same direction, they walked the other way.

Another day, there was a school lecture and the girl I like now asked where the lecture was and I wanted to know which subject lecture she was going to go to. I knew the answer to it and she said the direct opposite. I then spoke to a few boys about the sport which I like and the girl I like also likes. The boys stopped talking and the girl I like (girl 2) said "Don't Stop, I'm listening" and I spoke to her about getting the tickets to the match and a boy told me that the girl I like always talks about the sport and that I should invite her to the match. She just smiled and didn't say anything. After, she asked me what the lecture was about and said she was going to the one I was going to. On the way to the lecture she was walking with me. When we reached the venue for the lecture, she sat down on a stair and crossed her legs with the leg crossed over facing me. At this time she was speaking about her project marks and then about watching a few boys play rugby at our school carnival after she played her sport.

[vip]

Hi the one 1's post let me give you a female perspective I had a guy that did this to me at highschool same thing look at me i would look at him ect. He never asked me out and thats what i was waiting for deep down i really liked him. I definately was too scared to do it and 100% maybe shouldve. Anyway he moved on with someone else and so did i it got all too hard. Just ask her out and bite the bullet if she says no well doesnt matter at least you have the satisfaction of knowing and the depression will subside. If its no well yes will be disappointing but doesnt matter there will be someone else out there for you. Confidence is the key here and yes rejection isnt nice but this is all part of life and all part of learning hope this helps you out your not alone here plenty of us on this forum have been through it. Take care

[The_Real_David_Charles]

Dear the one,

There's no stupid reason to be depressed.   There's no reason to over analyse every girls look, behaviour, thoughts, actions, intent, manner, mood, physical stance, glance, breath or talk.   There's no disappointment without expectation.

Your life comes from you.  How you hold yourself.  What you like.   What you want.  Whether you can be strong, confident and well balanced.    If whether a girl likes you or not has a depressive content on you it's not the girl doing the put down.   It's your expectations not being met.  You can change your outlook and expectations and not let someone else's behaviour make you into some kind of emotional puppet.     Discovering girls is surely very exciting but this is gonna continue for a whole lifetime.   Your anxiety about stuff and the resultant depression hangs on one thing:  Does someone like me ?

But, the real deal is:  Do I like myself ?   Even Brad PItt said last year "I'm successful and have made good money but........I still have to live with myself".  Basically if you feel weak and needy you will attract abuse and manipulation.  If you are yourself and feel comfortable you will attract connections of value and although friendship signs are part of it your broader perception will make things happen.    

There's no School of Love.   And even the Love Boat (tv series hooking up people whilst on fabulous cruises) got recently decommissioned. Plus, you have to factor in that it is a ladies perogative to change her mind.   That's why tupperware comes in a dozen colours.  Lol.  Relax and maybe just, for instance, be the one yourself.

Adios, David.

[The_Modern_Day_Gentleman]

Dear the_one_1,

your story/problem may not be one that is entirely new, yet as someone who has had his struggles with love, I know all too well how personal and unique your experiences with it can be. "Crushes" are a funny thing. They can hold your heart so gently and make you feel warm, but within a heartbeat, their palm can clutch shut and cause it to strain and make your skin crawl (or maybe that is just me...I digress).

I know just how troubling the state of mind you are currently in can be. You analyse every situation involving your crush (who I shall henceforth refer to as Anna) and have a mild panic attack whenever some form of negativity that may impact your outcome with her arises. Love is both universal and unique. It is a "language" we all speak, but each in our different ways. Some people are gun-ho about it whilst others tread carefully so as to not ruin it.

First of, allow me to say that from what I have read, the signs look positive! The sometimes small albeit noticeable interactions you and Anna have gave an outsider like myself an impression that a relationship of sorts would eventuate from them. From common interests to the games of "footsie" she plays with your chair are positive signs and it's good that you yourself pick up on these.

When I reached the section of your post about "confusing signs", I immediately noticed the lack of them compared to the overall positive signs you start off with. Reading deeper into them, MY conclusion is perhaps the reason she opted to walk in the other direction from you was because either A: she was having a bad day and didn't want to impart any negativity towards you, or B: her and her friend were talking about you and didn't wish for you to overhear.

In my mind, I believe that you SHOULD ask her out. However, I also know how daunting this can be. You fear that stupid little word "no". You are afraid that if you do ask her, that she may say no and it will crush you. Unfortunately, this is a potential outcome. Rejection is frustratingly scary as we delve into a mindset in which we conclude there is something wrong with us and that is why we were rejected. Truth is though, there is not a damn thing wrong with you my friend!

The best case scenario is Anna saying yes upon you asking her out. Take a moment to envision that exact moment. Imagine the smile on your face, the beating of your heart and embracing her in your arms. Use this thought to build your confidence until you feel that you possess enough confidence to ask her the question.

Now, the worst case scenario... Sure I could just bury it under the rug and we can forget about it, but realising your fear is the first step to facing it. So what happens if she does say no? I won't lie, it will hurt. Your heart may skip a beat and your skin may crawl. However, take a moment and realise that you are in fact still standing. You are dealt a negative blow, but you remain on your feet. You may not be unscathed, but you are most certainly not down and out, and here is why.

You just did what many among us don't have the cojones to do. You truly are a man amongst boys. Instead of wondering idly, you took it upon yourself to discover what would happen. Now it hasn't turned out the way you had hoped, but the fat lady isn't singing. Many would tell you in this situation "there are plenty more fish in the sea". While it may sound like cut-and-paste-bullsh*t, they are correct. There are other women out there, but the connection you and Anna had was beautiful, something you refuse to give up on.

Here is my advice (and to an extent how I am living my life at the moment); for whatever reason, Anna doesn't like you back. Perhaps she has eyes for someone else or maybe you just aren't her type. Don't let this rejection weigh you down. Instead, use it to become the strongest person you can be! Focus on what you want to achieve, who you want to be. Don't worry about any competition you may face, for they are the ones who should worry. Whether it be for hope or spite, make it your goal to lift your grades. Be the absolute best you can be, and if she is a smart girl, she will realise her mistake.

I truly wish there was something foolproof I could do to help you succeed, but alas there is not. The pain of love and rejection is one that can render even the strongest of men weak, but the key is to remember you are down, but not out. You can't make someone fall in love with you, but you can make them regret not choosing to do so."

I wish you all the best and hope everything works out for you and Anna

The Modern Day Gentleman