Pit of Anger

[Calm_Angry]

A while back, I started to suppress my emotions and stopped caring what other people thought about me. But because of that, I have years of bottled up regrets and anger that I don't know how to release in a healthy way. Depending on the people I talk to, I can be calm all the time or be aggressive at even the slightest jab towards my actions. I'm a very insular person and don't show my feelings on my sleeve.

I don't want to be angry all the time. I just want to function normally and communicate with people properly (especially for job interviews and all that). Are there ways to release years of anger? Should I think before falling back on my sensitivities?

[PatT]

Hi Calm&Angry,

It's hard to strike a balance between expressing your emotions with full force and holding them back. Personally, I have quite a bad temper so when it comes out, it really comes out. Yet it's a lot better than it used to be as I can pull myself back at times and acknowledge I might've gone too far. In your case, maybe you should try and slow down your thought processes and consider why you feel like you do towards a certain person. Is it something they've done to you in the past? Are you just having a bad day? Is it something that somebody else has done and you're just carrying your emotions over to this situation? What will be the consequences of bottling it all in vs. letting it all out?

From what you've described it sounds like, your emotional remote control has 2 functions - on and off. You're either all for it or resigned to not react at all. You need to develop the skills to have a spectrum of reactions, neither too extreme or benign.

What do you do to release your tension? Do you exercise? Do you have hobbies? Do you read, etc.? You need to have the mechanisms that actually allow you to relax and distract you. If you feel like it's a really big problem that you may not be able to fix yourself, speak to your GP about seeing a psychologist. Having so many years of bottled up anger sounds like it's quite destructive and that might be your next best step.

[blondguy]

Hello Calm

Welcome to the Beyond Blue Community and thankyou for posting too!

I do feel your pain and there are a great many people that bottle up their feelings. As you are aware it can be difficult as you bury your feelings instead of venting them.

You have great courage by reaching out Calm and well done to you. If I may ask you, do you have a GP that you know that you can see? They are very well trained on these matters and can even show you the way to have some basic help to show you how to vent your anger/feelings

Having a support group like a couple of close friends are always good to have a vent to and talk about your feelings. In your situation I would see your GP for advice and even show him/her a printout of what you have posted here so it may be easier for him/her to understand. You just need someone that can help you talk about those years of anger....just a counsellor would be a huge bonus to you right now...Start with your GP.

You are an intelligent and self aware person Calm...You also have great strength. You are not alone

My Kind Thoughts to You. You are most welcome to post back Calm. I really hope you do!

Paul