need someone to tell me its ok

[tashi]

i hate coming to these sorts of places just fr reassurance but thats really all i need right now. is for someone to tell me everything will be ok. my dad is about to start chemo, my grandfather is dying, my partner and i were about to buy a house and start a family when he broke his back so we had to move back home we now live sepratley and he is so down and feeling so broken that i just feel so dragged down by all of it and i go to a job everyday that i hate. im only 22 years old i cant handle all of this weight on my shoulders everytime i get in the car i cry. life shouldnt feel like this 😞

[Macka90]

Hi tashi

everything will be ok, no life should not feel this way but u have to have faith that it will all work out in the end. 

maybe go see ur GP tell them how you are feeling and they can send u on to the right people to help you.

i know how u r feeling as my dad is very sick but not getting treatment and it kills me that he won't. 

If u want to chat please feel free we are all here to listen.

[geoff]

dear Tashi, I hope that you are still looking at whether or not anyone has replied, so can you please get back to us, I have your name written down and would like to talk to you. Geoff. x

[Neil_1]

Hi there Tashi

Absolutely nothing wrong with coming here and unloading.   And yes, you do have a bit on there to unload.

What you need to do is to break down each one – and at the end of each one, not only will we reinforce for you that it WILL BE OK (sorry, didn’t mean to shout, but just wanted to make it stand out), but hopefully YOU’LL be able to say that as well.

Firstly, you’re 22 and I’ve gotta say that’s a great age – says he who has 28 years on you. 

The treatment for your Dad is a necessary one;  he’s got this mongrel disease and in order to combat it, the treatment is a must – but there’s nothing also stopping you from being there as often as you can for him.  I know I visited my Dad as often as I could, and also Mum as well.

Likewise with your grandfather, visiting him and being there is also a lovely and very beautiful thing to do.

I hope that you’re living close by both your Dad and your grandfather, so you’re able to do this.  Otherwise, phone calls are always options.

With your partner with his back issue, I’m assuming that he’s also about your age (roughly) and hopefully he’s on the mend or will be soon.  In this regard, even try thinking for a short while – “Ok, I wonder where things will be at this time next year”.  It might sound a long way away now, but to be honest, it’s not.

Now I can quite often be flippant and silly on here and I haven’t been that way in this response, so I feel it necessary to do this now – and so I close with:  “everytime you get in the car, you cry”;  please please make sure you stop this process before you start the car.  🙂

Kind regards

Neil

[Pontius]

It's OK!

You sound like you are going through a really tough time, but that's why they say 'going through.' I take that to mean that we are going to get our alright on the other side.

The fierce wind rages

And I see how trees survive

They have learnt to bend

Stay safe 🙂

[Kennaugh8]

Hi Tashi,

As the others have said, it is necessary to have an outlet like this where you can talk to people about anything going on in your life. 

The best advice I can give you is to echo what Neil1 said and to look at all of your issues in isolation. As I was reading all of the problems in your life at the moment, it was clear how overwhelmed you are feeling and this is completely normal. When you have a few problems at once, they feed off each other and they become harder to deal with than if you were only dealing with the one problem. 

The chemo treatment for your father is something that may take a little bit of time but it is a necessary evil that is intended to make him better. Try and spend as much time with your grandfather as you can. I went through a similar situation with one of my grandparents where they dying and I was fortunate enough to spend some time with them before they passed. It is something that I cherish now and am so grateful for getting that time.

I don't know the full extent of your partners injury but a broken back can just be a matter of time and as each day passes, he gets closer to recovery.

You have a lot on your plate at the moment and to have been coping with this shows that you are a strong person. However, please don't hesitate to come back whenever you need to talk to someone or get some reassurance. 

You will get through all of this and remember, you are strong!

Chris

[geoff]

dear Tashi, I am pleased that we have all these great people to be able to respond back to you, and please don't feel any guilt or shyness in coming to this site, and remember none of us know who you are, so it's all anonymous, and don't be afraid.

Firstly we would like to know how you are and how the situation is going, because there seems to so much going on which is over whelming you and we know that this would be understandable.

We also know that you don't like online sites like this, we know this but your circumstances are serious, so please don't worry or be scared about replying. L Geoff. x

[tashi]

thank you all for your kind words. some days are better than other, yes i wrote this on a day i was feeling very over whelmed . my dads treatment he is unsure weather or not he wants to do it. from my point of view theres no other option but he is a grown man and if he choses not to i have to respect that but very hard to come to terms with.

 my grandfather and i are not very close. i think i feel responsable for that and trying to make up for lost time in his last few weeks.id like to know about what kind of person he is before hes gone. 

and its not my partners injurys that bother me. i know they will mend. its how hes coping . hes down and out because he is not working or earning money so he cant contribute to our lives and im working enough for the both of us. i guess hes feeling a bit embarrssed and like hes a burden . and honestly thats a bit how it feels. i so want to be there for him as emotional support but i just cant take it on all the time.

again thanks for all your replies trying to keep my emotions in check