Four years of disordered eating

[Vegankiitty]

Hello everyone this is my first post. My names beth and im 20 years of age. Ive been struggling with disordered eating for 4 years or more. But I have been in denial until now. I met my 21 y.o boyfriend when I was 15, I moved in with him the first week of meeting him because I didnt want to be at home as things were tense. He began being physically and emotionally abusive towards me and I.remember feeling helpless and worthless but I didnt want to go home. He took me to queensland and things got tense with his mum, him.and I and I remember power walking multiple times per fdayto get away from them and check my body shapr in the mirror. I wasnt allowed to eat his mothers food and had no choice of what food my boyfriend bought for us. It wasnt much and wasnt nourishing. Thats when I started to stress over my food intake. I got pregnant and we moved home. I had a misscarriage. Two weeks later I got pregnant again. I started to watch what I ate feeling slightly more free but didnt start to get out of hand until I had my daughter. I was doing step ups in the hospital room and.choosing low calorie options on.the hospital menu. when I got out of hospital I started wii fit and restricting my kilojoule intake consuming as little as possible. About two months later I had gone from 60kg to 46kg and my milk ducts dried up to breastfeed. My boyfriend started to control my eating habits calling me crazy and our relationship got worse. After he threw my food out one day I left him. I finally felt free, moved back with mum for two weeks. Within that time I saved enough money to get in a house and buy my own furnithre. I was 17. I joined the local gym that let me bring my daughter in her pram and continued with my rituals but was eating a healthier amount. Eventually my exercise began to get excessive, especially when my daughter was too big to be in the gym while I was working out. I began to panic about being able to.exercise. thats when I started trying to constantlt change

[Narniakid]

Hi Vegankiitty and welcome to the forums, thank you for sharing your story with us.

Wow, you have been through quite a handful in your 20 years, and I applaud you for staying strong and having the courage to leave your ex. It is wonderful to hear that you've been able to get your own place, and that you're still in touch with your mother. As for your health, I strongly suggest you see your GP and get a professional diagnosis and treatment. It is not only so important for yourself, it's important for your daughter too - how do you think she will feel about herself down the line if she's grown up watching her mother's body get thinner and thinner?

Definitely make a trip to your GP, read up on some of the treatments and coping strategies here on the website, and consider giving the hotline a call. You've done a wonderful job turning your life around, now you need to look after your body too! 

Crystal

[Doolhof]

Hi Vegankiitty,,

Thanks for sharing your story with us. I'm not sure that I can add much more than Crystal has already mentioned.

I would just like to encourage you to do as Crystal has suggested and to seek help for yourself now so you can have a wonderful healthy life with your daughter.

Congratulations to you for all you have managed to do for yourself and your daughter.

It seems that you know where you want to be and what you want to achieve, being a healthier you, so I hope you are able to make the changes needed.

Just take small steps at first to change your diet and exercise routine into something that is more suited to your body. Sometimes it is hard to let go of the sense of control, but in some cases that is what we need to do.

 I believe seeing  A Dr. is the first step to recover and heading in a different direction.

Cheers for now from Mrs. Dools