Need advice on religion, family, gender and sexuality. I know it's a lot.

[NonbinaryDragon]

Hello. Let's start this of with a bit of an introduction. My name is Quinn, my pronouns are they/them and I'm nonbinary, asexual and panromantic. At least I'm pretty sure that's all true. My family is pretty homophobic, especially my dad. When I first came out to him he basically waved it off as me just making stuff up to fit in with my new friends. We had just moved to where I know live and for the first time ever in my life I was going to a new school and my friend group was almost entirely LGBTQIA+. I had no idea about any of it so they had to teach me and I came to the above realisations. One of my other currant problems is that I'm beginning to question my religion. I'm I'm raised catholic and my parents are both very strongly catholic but I just don't fell very connected to it. I have been doing a bit of reaserch and I found like all that pagen witchcraft stuff and that looks really cool but I don't really know what to do, or how to tell my parents. My other problem is my extended family. We used to live with my mums parents when we first moved here but it's wasn't great. My grandfather started drinking again and he got really drunk most nights and got into fights with my dad. We eventualy moved out and not it's like my mum wants me to forget everything that he did and just be friends with him again, but every time I go over to visit he's always drunk and says stupid stuff. I just don't know what to do, and I have been feeling really sad most days and I think I might have depression but my dad said it can't be that because I still enjoy my hobbies. I just need some help and advice. Thanks in advance.

[mmMekitty]

Hi NonbinaryDragon,

No, worries; you just take your time, & if we don't hear from you before Xmas, may I wish you a very Happy Christmas, with fun & peace. 😺

🌟🎶🎄❤️

Just remember, the BB door is always open, if you'd like a chat.

mmMekitty

[NonbinaryDragon]

Sorry for not replying sooner. My anxiety was pretty bad over the last week or so and a lot was happening. So the doctors appointment went well! I am about to go on a medication that will make me have 1 period which I'm ok with and then I'm going on the pill but just not taking the suger pills so I will never have a period again! Christmas was good nothing really happened on the day but on the day after boxing day we had a big family get together. That was insane. My bipolar aunt who hasn't taken meds in 4 years came down with her latest girlfriend, the gurlfriends two kids and her own son. The two kids where brats a basically screamed at everyone for cake for the entire 7 hours we where there. I had a panic attack in the bathroom and my auntie didn't even say merry Christmas to me and my brother let alone get presents. My mum and grandparents put in the effort and brought loads of presents for the three other kids. My mum had a big argument with my aunt before the party because my auntie refused refused get tested for covid but eventualy agreed to. Then after the 7 hour party where she was in close contact with the whole family including my imunocomprinized grandmother that she actualy didn't get tested and then left. So we where all panicking but so far none of us are sick. Yeah so that the update.

[mmMekitty]

Well, Nonbinarydragon, I'm not sure I ought to say "Happy New Year" after that! What a lot of turmoil! I am glad you all are alright for now.

How did you deal with your panic attack? What do you do when you feel an attack coming on?

Also good news about the doctor's appointment, & you have an agreement to have the one period, & then the pill, & no more periods. That'll work out well for you. Did you talk to the doctor about your polycystic ovaries?

Oh, I'm going to take a chance & wish you a very Happy New Year, & good ties in 2022! 😺🎆🎉💖

mmMekitty

[NonbinaryDragon]

Well this post was originally going to be on the 5th of January talking about how it was my birthday and all that came with that. Then it was pushed to the 6th because me and my dad had a bit of a fight on my birthday. Then it was pushed to today because my parents had a massive fight. First of all my birthday went well, I turned 17 and I got a cute toy husky and some diamond painting art crafty things. Now for about 6 months my dad has been hyping up that when I turned 17 he was finaly going to stop controlling when I had screen time. This was massive for me as literally every kid I know my age stopped having controlled screen time years ago. Then on my birthday I'm playing some video games and he comes in and tells me to turn it off as screen time is over. Me, thinking he's just forgot says "I turned 17 today and you said I don't get screen time any more" he just stares at me then says "your not responsible enough, now get off". Me and him got in a pretty big argument about it which my brother joined my dads side on. It poiled down to I apparently don't do enough around the house while simultaneously not telling me what I could do to do more. Also during my birthday me, my brother and my mum went over to visit my grandparents who are currently incubating some chicken eggs. They are due to start hatching either today or tommorow. My dad was a bit cranky with us going over there because of the covid risk but my mum very calm pointed out that my grandparents literally don't leave their house exept for grocery shopping which we also have to do. My dad didn't put up any more of a fuss. So we got home and everything was fine. Then yesterday I mentioned that I would like to go over again today to see if the chickens have hatched and my dad lost it. He was yelling at me and my mum and my mum was telling at him and me and my brother went and hid in our rooms. I later found out that apparently my dad told my mum to go live at her parents house for a week. My mum says he's overreacting and my dad says my mums not being cautious enough. Now neither of then are talking to eachother and my dad told me today that this is their worst fight ever in their 20+ year marriage and that it's going to get worse.

[mmMekitty]

Hey Quinn, Happy Birthday!

I'm sorry I missed it. I'm glad it was okay, if not exactly turning out how you would have preferred.

I remember when we had chickens, & some hatched. Hatching chicks, new born baby animals of any kind are so wonderful. I hope you did get to see them.

I am sorry, though, that you & your brother have to see & hear your parents argueing. Try to remember, even if one or the other says it's about you or your brother, it really isn't. The disagreements your parents are about things they have their own problems with, & are their own problems to sort out.

You are NEVER the cause or blame for their arguments.

If at all possible, try to find times when they are not arguing, not very busy, to bring up, as you said, what you need them to explain, such as in what ways can you be more helpful around the home. After all, you live in a home which all of you share, & therefore, sharing responsibilities is now becoming more important - you are not a little kid anymore. Soon, you may want to be thinking of getting a place of your own. Not too soon, I hope, because it really is difficult moving out unprepared.

The next few years, can help you prepare far more if you take on more responsible household tasks, become interested in how a household is run. & If your parents are open, ask lots of questions.

As far as screen time goes, be glad I am not your parent! I don't think I would even want a child of mine having a their own phone/tablet/laptop, even with restrictions until at least 16, & then it would only be out in the lounge, & I'd be looking on every chance I got! I have heard too many awful stories to feel it is safe, so I'd be afraid. &, by the way, that would be MY problem). yes indeed.

So, looking ahead, what do you suppose is in store for you?