My Story, and where do I go from here?

[HypedIllusion]

My life in the present, and for the past couple of years has not been very fun to say the least. I find myself emotionally dead, times where I should be crying I just stare blankly off into the distance, times I should happy I just shrug it off and return to the methodical process that is my life. When people are hurt and people are injured all I see that as is a temporary issue and it'll be fixed soon, no use worrying about something you can't influence. When I hear that people have died, I feel nothing. When I see my mother in agony with extreme pains in her shoulder I feel nothing. It seems that the only emotion I find myself capable of achieving of late is this deep sensation of self-loathing and sadness. Some people might say I'm depressed some may say I'm just having a bad day, and I don't care about slapping a tag on what's happening to me, because it affects nothing. Remember my motto? "No use worrying about something you can't influence". I don't know what I feel any more... And I was wondering if somebody would hear me out and perhaps give me a hand with it all?

[HA1]

Hello Hypedillusion!

Welcome to the Beyond Blue forum, and thank you for your post.

This is just a quick message to let you know that yes, of course we will hear you out.  On this forum you will find that most understand fully what you are going through and you will get support here.  So post away with any questions or jut vent your feelings.

To start off through, can you tell me whether you have seen a health professional about how you feel?  If not, I would suggest that you speak to your GP who, if necessary can refer you to a psychologist.  If you don't have a GP, take a look through the health professionals that you'll find under the tab Get Support on th stop left hand corner of this page.  It lists a large number that have been specifically endorsed by Beyond Blue.  If you have not seen a GP about these feelings, is there a particular reason why you have not?

Look forward to hearing back from you!

Take care

K

[HypedIllusion]

Nah, I haven't gone to see a GP, but today is much better. Unfortunately on some days it gets really  hard and other days I'm fine.

Thank you for your advice and offer for support, it's much appriciated. I believe just  talking about it was enough to relieve some of the weight off, and as a result today I'm actually feeling happy and enjoying myself 🙂

Thanks,

HypedIllusion 

[HypedIllusion]

Hello again,

The main reason why I don't think it's necessary to see a GP or psychiatrist  is because it's so sporadic. Sometimes my 'down' periods last days or even a week, and then I'm good again.

Thanks,

HypedIllusion

[HA1]

Hello Hype

thanks for getting back to us.  It is good to hear that you are feeling much better. 

You have mentioned that this has bee going on for a couple of years and that it occurs sporadically.  Whatever "tag" you put on, or no tag at all, the bottom line is well described in your first post - you feel sad and describe your self as lacking in feeling or emotion.

OK, I am no doctor, but it does seem to me that it would be best to talk to a someone, perhaps a psychologist.  I would be concerned to nip it in the bud, before it becomes too entrenched.

And about your motto, you can influence the way you are feeling by getting the right and timely treatment should it be required.  But you don't know until you ask.  

take care, and don't hesitate to ask any question.  I or others here will be able to answer your questions.

K

[HypedIllusion]

Hello, 

Thank you  AOK, 🙂 

I generally bottle things like this up, and just talking about this helps immensely. I have had a rather bad experience the last time I trusted someone enough to actually talk to them so it's become rather difficult, but I'm very happy to know that everyone is here for me and vice versa.

Thank you again, you've been great!

HypedIllusion

[HA1]

You are most welcome Hypedillusion :).

Love that username by the way!