My girlfriend loves me but she hurts me (Mentaly)

[AIdan_]

Hey My name is aidan and im 17 currently in a relationship for 6months now

At first this relationship was all good and we were happy and we had each other and we both had friends and made plans but as time went on me and her became closer and closer inlove and started to spend most days together finally ending up seeing each other everyday almost. And now we've been fighting alot, but we love each other heaps. The problem i have is that im getting really depressed over everything she does because as of a couple of months shes been showing me love in a mean hurting full way (Verbaly) And she demands that i only hang out with here and Ive lost all my friends now and she has to because we hung out so much and im starting to not feel anywhere near happy with how things are going with us. And its affecting my school and work being sad all the time. Can anyone help me?? I love her so much.

thanks aidan.

[geoff]

hi Aldan, it's brave of you to post a comment but I want to thank you.
Love for all of us can evolve in different ways and shown by ways of affection, caring and attention but to do it by being verbally incorrect is not the proper way to show love and it's certainly not healthy for the relationship to remain together, and she has to know this.
The reason you met was because you both had an attraction towards each other, which turned into love, but when there is no compromise between the two of you then it makes the relationship begin to fall apart, especially when you lose any of your mates and not allowed to see them.
A toxic relationship will never survive no matter what, even though you still love her, and the reason you love her was she was what you were looking for from the beginning, but you have to draw a line of how she treats you and what you can do, otherwise you may fall out of love and I'm sure that the both of you don't want this.
Sit down with her and explain what you want, I know you may have already done this and possibly had an argument, but this time it's for real. Geoff.

[blondguy]

Hi Aiden and welcome to the forums

Thankyou for having the strength to post.

Geoff has solid advice above. It is still an uncomfortable place to be when a relationship goes one sided.

Having that talk with your girlfriend is a must especially as she means so much to you.

A relationship ideally is meant to be a 50/50 split where communication is concerned. Of course this is not always the case but you can work towards it by having that chat.

Be prepared and even write down a few points that you want to cover. Your girlfriend will also see that you concerns are serious. I hope she can meet you have way so you can both have mutual respect for eachother.

Kind Thoughts for you

Paul

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi Aidan,

Welcome to the forums and thanks for reaching out to us! Hope that you like it here and feel free to browse around with the 'young people' section to see maybe some other people who have been in your situation.

It sounds like you're in a bit of a tricky spot. I can see that you love your girlfriend, but it doesn't sound like she's treating you the way you deserve to be treated.

I want to call you out on something. You said in your post "she's showing me love in a mean hurting full way (Verbaly)". Truth is, demanding that you only hang out with her and being verbal towards you is not love. Sometimes in relationships couples will argue and that's normal and even healthy, but what's not healthy is verbal abuse and controlling who you hang out with. You don't deserve to be treated that way.

Have you talked to her about how all this stuff is making you feel? Is there something going on with her maybe at home or with her family that's causing her to react this way? It might even be useful to see the school counsellor and they could give you guys some advice or even just be there to listen to.

[Narniakid]

Hey there Aidan,

Thanks for reaching out to us here on the forums.

I am sorry to hear that your girlfriend is treating you like this. If she loves you, she should trust you to be able to hang out with your friends. I have been with my partner now for a year and a half, and like you and yours, we see each other almost every day. However we made a firm agreement when we first got together that we would let each other still see our friends if we wanted to, because maintaining healthy friendships outside of your relationship is something I think is really important and contributes a lot in regards to one's mental health.

It's basically inevitable that you're going to bicker with someone eventually if you're around them 24/7, but it's the way that you both handle your arguments that is important. I cannot stress enough how important communication is. You need to tell your girlfriend how you're feeling! It is not fair of her to restrict you from seeing anyone besides her, and it isn't a measure of love, rather I would say that she is fearful of you cheating or something like that.

As the others have said, nothing will change unless you talk to her about it. After all, we can't read minds, and she may not even be aware how she's making you feel.

Crystal