I want to feel happy again

[cheeseaus]

I'm 23 years old and believe am having some issues with myself. In the past I've had issues with anxiety and panic attacks but have learned to deal with these. I have not had a panic attack for a couple of years and my anxiety is minimal most of the time. Currently I just feel unhappy, like there is no joy in life. I work full time, have a great girlfriend, plenty of friends and a loving family but i'm just unhappy. Nothing excites me, nothing brings me joy, the things I used to get enjoyment out of just bore me, I have no motivation to do anything better with myself, I lack concentration, lately i've been getting really irritated at things that shouldn't irritate me. 

It's starting to affect my relationship. Sometimes I feel like I don't love my girlfriend but then I question whether this is true or if it's me just being unhappy with myself and everything else. I've contemplated breaking up with her but I can't because I know i'll regret it and just be lonely.

I never wanted meds to help with my anxiety. I don't want to rely on medication to make me normal but lately i'm starting to think maybe I should see a doctor and see if I need to start taking something. I want to get the joy back in my life and be happy. I'm sick of having no emotion.

[Zeal]

Hi, and welcome to the forum!

I'm a 22 year old female, and I had mild to moderate depression in my teens, and have lived with OCD since the age of 13. My OCD is milder and more manageable now, thanks to antidepressants and increased resilience and awareness.

In the past, have you been diagnosed with anxiety by a doctor? I'm glad you haven't had a panic attack in years, and that your anxiety is low-grade! 🙂 Currently, it sounds as though you could have some form of depression. This came to mind when I read "Nothing excites me, nothing brings me joy", and with the lack of motivation and enjoyment in your everyday life.

I suggest you make an appointment with your GP to discuss all the issues you have raised in this post. You could print out your post and show your doctor at the start of the appointment. Like you, I originally didn't want to "rely" on meds. However, I have been taking the same type (and similar dose) of antidepressant for 3 years now. I experience no negative side effects, it is safe to take daily for years if required, and helps to correct my serotonin deficiency. You may not need to take medication though- your doctor can discuss this with you.

If you are worried about your relationship, you could try chatting to your girlfriend about how you're experiencing some depressive symptoms at the moment. You don't have to say much if you don't feel comfortable- just be honest and open. She will probably appreciate you sharing this with her.

I hope you can find your joy again 🙂

Best wishes,

SM

[SeanM92]

Hey there Cheeseau's

Nice account name by the way haha love it

After reading your story the first thing that came to mind is that your stuck in a rut.

happens alot with full time work. 

Honestly i think seeing a GP or therapist may help but something i want to strongly suggest is just do something out of the ordinary, with your mates or partner or family or even on your own if you want. something like go take a holiday, go somewhere for the weekend  or if you cant afford that maybe have some mates around and have a game night or something. Something that you don't normally do that will break the routine.

You could try that and if that doesn't work out you could see your GP, at least that way (since you don't like medication) it may be helped out without medication. Also if you haven't mentioned it already, talking to your friends, family or partner may help out as well. 

Thanks for posting here and if you need anything else don't be afraid to come back
Take care and i hope it works out for you soon

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi Cheeseaus,

Thanks for reaching out to BB.  I'm sorry to hear that you've been unhappy lately.  I agree that it would be a good idea to go and see a GP or a counsellor.  One of the symptoms of depression can be that we're just not able to find joy out of the ordinary things, or even people that used to bring us happiness just don't anymore.  The good thing is that you're not alone and you can feel happy again.

Just because you might decide to see a counsellor or a GP doesn't mean that you have to go on medication either.  You get to choose whether you go on medication.  But there's also lots of ways to help cope without it too; like trying to spend more time doing things that you enjoy, catching up with friends or meeting new people or even just talking about how you're feeling so you don't have to bottle it up.  If you're worried about your relationship, why don't you hold off and just have a chat to your girlfriend first?  You may find that once you can start dealing with what's making you unhappy, you might find that things get easier and easier.

Good luck and take care 🙂

[Narniakid]

Hey cheeseaus (love the username btw) and welcome to the forums.

It definitely sounds like you need to figure out some goals, both long term and short term, and try some new things. I recently was in a similar situation, feeling pretty glum about my life despite having a job, a roof over my head, friends and a loving partner. I decided to clean out my whole house, and throw out 80% of my possessions, as physical clutter often leads to negative thoughts etc. I took a few short courses, did some free online courses, volunteered at charity events, and joined my local community radio station. I cannot stress enough how important feeding your creativity and curiousity can be, it can really make us change our attitude and our perspective on things. 

I suggest going out and joining a club, picking up a new hobby, taking a class - try something new. Figure out some goals and things you'd like to do, places you'd like to travel to, things you'd like to buy, and work towards those.

Definitely have a read of the resources here on the website, and consider seeing your GP if it gets any worse - don't be afraid of seeking professional help, it can really be a wonderful treatment option.

Crystal

[Lori]

Hi Cheeseaus,

Welcome to the forums, and well done for reaching out. I understand that you have experienced Anxiety in the past a feel that you have it under control which is great news by the way!

If you don't mind me asking i'm curious to know if you have ever experienced depression? Not that i can diagnose you or anything, i am just wondering whether you have and maybe it's starting to play up. You said that you aren't enjoying anything or the things you use to, have you tried other enjoyable things? Maybe it's time to try new things and i understand that you have no motivation to but if its affecting you do you reckon maybe it's time to push your self a little ? see if you can surprise yourself ?

In my opinion i don't think you should break up with your girlfriend as you have previously said she's a great girlfriend, maybe before you make a big decision like this i would suggest maybe talking to you GP and seeing what they have to say and what they reckon is going on. 

It's good to hear you have great friends and family, be sure to stick by them when your in need of support. Stay close to your loved ones and always try new things if it doesn't work there's always something else don't give up hope things will get better with the treatment whether it's talking to someone, playing a sport or even buying a puppy or something. 

Stay strong, keep pushing your self but not too much 🙂 

- Lori 

[morgs29]

Hi Cheeseaus,

Welcome to the forum and well done for reaching out. I can relate to the feelings you are experiencing, as I also suffer with anxiety + depression myself. It can be really difficult when there's nothing obvious upsetting us but still something feels wrong.

You mention the idea of going to see your doctor and I think that's a great first step. Talking through options for treatments such as medication is a helpful thing to do, especially when it sounds like you've got so much good going on for you right now and you don't want to lose it. It's really important that you've identified that. 

You seem to have a lot of awareness around how you're feeling and knowing that it's related to your anxiety. It's a courageous thing to know this and to take the next step in acting on what you think is best for helping you manage your feelings (or lack of them).

All the best and feel free to use the beyondblue community forum to let us know how it's all going.

Take care,