I struggle expressing my emotions

[Foxtrot73]

Hi guys,

I'm a 16 year old male, I have a good family,friends and support network who I feel safe and comfortable around, yet for as long as I can remember I have had issues expressing how I really feel.

I have a tendancy to be a people pleaser and try to be everything for everyone, unfortunately as I am going through my VCE studies, sport most days a week and going out, I am finding myself feeling sad but not being able to express this.

I'm not some toxic masculinity type of person, I just haven't cried for nearly 10 years, I'll lay in bed upset but it is all internal and I just bottle it up and try to forget about it. It's starting to take a toll on my sleep and when I find myself alone and I don't know what to do.

[sbella02]

Hey Foxtrot73,

Thank you so much for sharing your experience with us. It's normal, particularly at age 16, to have difficulty expressing your emotions. Much of it may be societal, much of it may also be due to the fact that it can be hard to assign a label to what we're feeling. 

One thing that immediately comes to mind for me would be journalling. Not necessarily writing down how your day went or recounting an event that made you feel a strong emotional reaction, but writing down exactly what's bothering you can help you recognise how you may be able to overcome it. It's one way of expressing our emotions if we're not quite comfortable sharing how we feel with other people, too. 

Exercising can be another good way of expressing our emotions in a healthy way. Exercising with other people (eg: walking together, team sports) can also be good for this. Walking would be particularly useful if you're looking to express how you're feeling to somebody else, as you can chat while you're walking. 

Otherwise, if you'd feel comfortable, you could try having a chat to a GP about how you're feeling with regards to expressing your emotions and how this affects your sleep, and they can work with you to find ways to help you out.

Take care, and we're here to chat more with you if you need.

SB

[yours_truly]

Hey Foxtrot73,

I hope your day hasn't been too tiring. I'm a VCE student myself, and although a female, I can empathise with you. I jus want to let you know that how you feel and why you feel how you feel, regardless of the reasons, are all totally valid. 

Being able to express yourself isn't a result of a healthy support network or good people around you, it's a result of confidence and self love. Learning to prioritise yourself isn't easy and especially as a people-pleaser, it gets messy and hard. However, it's the way to go. You have to know that giving yourself a break and allowing yourself to stop giving and take in for a second is essential.

I hope this has sparked some light for you Foxtrot73,

yours_truly 🙂