I'm feeling lonely again

[AlecA]

Hello all,

Thanks for looking at my thread, I've been diagnosed with depression before but I'm safe to say I've beaten it. But over the past 10 weeks I've been feeling more lonely at school and at home, even though I've got one of the best friend groups I could ever ask for. I'm starting to feel isolated, I've got zero motivation at school, I fear my grades might start to slip again and to put the cherry on the cake I've got an ex-friend starting to hassle me and insult my friends.

This may not be the best post out there, I just need help.

Cheers.

[Sophie_M]

Dear Aleca,
 
Firstly, welcome to the forums we are so glad that you found your way to this supportive and welcoming community. We hope that you find ideas, options and support from the shared experiences and knowledge of all our members. This is a safe space to share and express your own feelings, struggles and experiences without judgement.

Regards

Sophie M

[Sophia16]

Hi,

Welcome to the Beyond Blue forums and thank you for being open here. It sounds like you are going through a difficult time.

If you are feeling lonely, maybe it is due to your depression. Do you think it has come back again? Have you seen a mental health professional about how you are feeling?

Stay safe and i am always here to chat

[yggdrasil]

Hi AlecA,

Thank you so much for sharing on here! Hopefully the community can help you. Your post may also help others who may read your story and relate to it, so thank you again!

I'm so glad to hear you've overcome depression in the past. If you're starting to experience some of the symptoms again, you shouldn't feel like you're "failing" at recovery in any way. It's common for depression-like symptoms to reappear during difficult times. For me, overcoming depression was a slow process. It can be about getting better at identifying the patterns leading up to an episode of depression, and changing course sooner and sooner.

I'm sorry to hear you're feeling isolated. Perhaps there are certain needs not being met by your current social circles? Feeling "connected" to other people is a subtle thing that different people achieve in different ways. Have you ever sung in a choir, joined a meditation/yoga group, or played a really physical team/social sport? I think all of these things help you connect with other people on a more emotional, physical, "gut" level. I've found all three help me feel more connected to other people, and less isolated.

Motivation is also a really difficult one. My view is that action usually preceeds motivation, not the other way around. You have to decide on a logical/rational level what you think is the "right" or "meaningful" thing to do, then just start doing it, irrespective of whether you "want" to on an emotional level. For example, if you think getting goods grades will be good for you, or the people around you in some way, you should just try and do your school work irrespective of how you feel about it. In these situations, giving yourself little rewards for completing tasks can be helpful. Remember though there's much, much more to life than grades, and there are plenty of good pathways out there if book work really isn't your thing.

If on the other hand you know you want to do school work, but cannot because you feel fatigued, or "foggy brained", all the time, a different strategy might be best. These are depression like symptoms, and trying to push through them too hard can sometimes make you feel worse, or like you're "failing". As Sophia said, talking to your doctor about this might be wise.

I'm also sorry to hear about your ex-friend. Would you describe it as bullying? If so, perhaps you should speak to a teacher about it?

[Petal22]

Hi AlecA,

Wellcome to our forums!

Im sorry you are feeling this way I understand it would be difficult for you.

The most important thing right now is you and your mental health…….. I understand feeling lonely isn’t a very nice way to feel.

Have you been able to discuss with your parents about the way you are feeling or a trusted friend or doctor?

Im sorry you have a ex friend who is hassling you……. My advice is to try to just ignore this ex friend…… this ex friend doesn’t deserve your time.

Im here to chat to you

[geoff]

Hello AlecA, can I ask you a question, and please only answer if that's what you want to do, as you have beaten depression before, are you still taking antidepressants (AD), and if you have then perhaps you need to see your doctor again.

Having zero motivation is certainly a great concern because it produces negative thoughts that are going to affect your daily life and howw you may react to what's happening around you.

Geoff.

[livi_mivi]

Hey AlecA,

Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your story, it seems as though you are having some concerns over your mental health and behaviours.

I guess a good place to start might be thinking where these feelings of isolation and loneliness are coming from. Do you have a friend or family member that you feel comfortable with talking to about your current situation?

Unfortunately, it can be hard to recognise when we are falling into old habits or patterns of thinking until we are deeply consumed in it. It is really great that you have the ability to look within and recognise the feelings that you are having as it can mean that you can be proactive in taking care of your mental health. Perhaps engaging in practices or reaching out for support that you utilised when you were on the road to healing during your depression might be helpful in regaining motivation and feeling less lonely.

As for your ex-friend, it appears that for whatever reason, they are trying to interrupt and potentially isolate you from the strong group of friends that you have surrounded yourself with. I guess it might be useful to explain to this individual how they are making you feel. If you are ever feeling uncomfortable by the contents or number of negative interactions you are having with them, it might be useful to reach out to a teacher or adult.

If you ever need additional support, please reach out on the forums.

Wishing you all the best