I feel worthless

[calei]

My partner and I are moving. It’s stressful I get that… but he has spoken to me like I’m the issue he is facing instead of just talking to me or trying to communicate and explain what’s going on in his head… I understand it’s difficult for him and I am very patient… but, recently. He is making the insults and anger personal… I’ve been at home everyday with our newborn. And cleaning the house and doing the washing and trying to keep us all fed… I barely have time for an actual shower for myself or to even brush my teeth or hair…. So I was really proud with what I had got done in the past 3 days… but he got mad because it was good enough. He told me that what I have done isn’t good enough, that I haven’t done anything and nothing is clean… I tried to talk to him on what’s wrong and he told me to shut up and fuck off…. He is making the attacks personal and it hurts so bad. Because I am trying my best. And I’m trying not to fall into PPD… but it’s becoming extremely hard when he speaks to me like I’m a worthless person just living in the house… I’m trying so hard but I’m obviously not doing enough. I’m not meeting his unrealistic expectations and my best isn’t good enough for him and it makes me feel terrible…. I just… I guess I needed to rant because no one will want to listen to this in our friend group… they are all his anyway….

[Sophie_M]

Hey calei,
Thank you for sharing this here. It sounds like you are going through a really stressful time.

We’re sorry to hear you’ve been dealing with abuse. No one should speak to you like this, or make you feel this way. It’s not ok, and you deserve so much better than that. If you'd like to have a chat with one of the lovely people at 1800Respect to discuss this, they're on 1800 737 732, or you can reach them on online chat, here: https://chat.1800respect.org.au/#/welcome
You can also reach out to the lovely Beyond Blue counsellors anytime, on 1300 22 4636, available 24/7, or you can speak to them on webchat here.

Thanks again for sharing here. We’re sure you’ll hear from some other community members soon. We hope you can be as kind to yourself during this difficult time as you have been in opening up and sharing with the community here, today.

Kind regards,

Sophie M

[Bob_22]

Hi calei,

Thanks for your post and sorry it's taken so long for one of us to get back to you. I'm sorry about the situation you are in. You sound like a very resilient person and caring mother. As Sophie mentioned, 1800respect is a great resource for anyone who thinks they are in an unhealthy relationship and have some great counselling + resources. Here is some information to start out with: https://www.1800respect.org.au/healthy-relationships 

In the meantime, feel free to rant away here. I know how hard it can be to not have any of your own friends and on this note I recommend you dedicate some time to yourself and your own hobbies. I know this can be hard with a newborn and everything on your plate but it is important you make your mental health a priority. 

In regards to practical and emotional support as new parent, KARITANE is an amazing service. They have centres across Australia as well as offering online support. I recommend checking them out here: https://karitane.com.au/our-services 

Please have a read and let us know how you're going.

Bob