I don’t know how to get help

[2_Double_O]

I don’t actually know what’s wrong with me but I do know that something might possibly be wrong. I just have these feelings of like impending doom sometimes and I can’t stop myself from thinking about it. There are other things too but that’s not really the point of this post. Point is: I’m so lost. I don’t want to tell my parents coz I’m worried of what they’ll think. I know my parents don’t really understand the weight mental illness has and the affect it can have on people. I have had a few counselling sessions at my school but during that time I didn’t have the guts to tell her how I truely felt inside and I think because I pretended to be okay she thinks I don’t need to see her anymore. I know it’s stupid but I don’t want to tell anyone because I don’t want to feel weak. But I feel that if I don’t start getting help something bad’s gonna happen. I just don’t know what to do. I want to stop feeling like this but I’m also scared that I’m just overreacting. I have a pretty good life and I really haven’t gone through anything too bad. I keep telling myself that if I get my life together everything will get better and sometimes that works for a bit but then I end up feeling the same way again. I just want the feelings to stop and I want to let all my emotions out but I’m afraid to. I was going to chat online with one of the beyond blue people but I kind of chickened out. At least posting this isn’t like a really conversation because it’s not directly to someone and I don’t have to reply

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Hello

Sometimes it can seem scary to talk about mental health issues for the first time, but you've taken the first step by posting here, so good on you 🙂

I think you're right about counselling though. To get the most benefit out of it, it does require us to open up. Maybe you can practice how you might say what you want, in the most comfortable manner? Some people here on the forums like to write things down, and just hand the piece of paper to the professional - whether that's a gp or whoever, so maybe you could consider doing that with your counsellor or your parents? Some people don't fully understand mental health issues, and they affect everyone differently anyway, so it's an individual thing, but your parents care about you so they can at least give you support and make sure you get the help you need too. Whatever you choose, I hope you decide to open up to someone, as things can definitely get better, but only when we let someone know we're struggling a bit.

Again, well done for posting here. You've taken that first step towards getting where you want to go!

Katy

[suesie]

I have those thoughts of impending doom. I’ve had it my whole life. I didn’t even know it was a “thing” until a psychiatrist explained it to me. It comes from anxiety/depression and can be treated. Once you know what it is it becomes easier to handle. Getting help from a doctor or psychologist will make all the difference.

[felix mendelssohn]

Hi there 2 Double 0,

The position you're in right now is a very difficult one, I know, I've been there. But you're also in the best position right now to address whatever you suspect your issues might be. I totally understand the fear of looking weak, the fear of making a big deal out of nothing and the extreme difficulty in opening up to anyone. Seriously, I walked into the GP with the full intention of saying I strongly suspected I may be clinically depressed. What I ended up saying was more like "Yeah, I'm fine! Nice to meet you, bye!" Of course they were confused and pressed me a bit more, but I guess you were more convincing, haha!

I don't want to sound alarming, but it really is for the best if you can sort this stuff out asap. If you ignore it, deny it, just put on a brave face and smile there's a possibility that things will just get worse, and you'll still be unable to bring yourself to open up and ask for help because you've already invested so much energy in hiding it. This is the predicament I've been in recently, so please, please, have another chat with the counsellor or as Katy suggested write down what you're feeling (or even literally a screenshot of your post here) and show it to the counsellor.

All the best,

Felix