Hi, I'm new here

[Mireille]

Hi, I'm new here! I've never done this kind of thing before but I wanted to talk to someone about how I feel, and I don't want to worry my parents or friends. I normally would see myself as quite a happy person but lately I just feel so down most of the time. I've recently moved out of home to college, I'm having a few issues with friends at the moment, and I'm worried that I'm not achieving enough with my life. Last year I felt excited and full of potential but now I feel like a bit of a failure and not even a good person anymore. I also feel pretty bad about the state of things in the world, and find myself questioning a lot of my beliefs and values that I once held with certainty. I cry most days, which is unusual for me. I thought it would just a brief phase of feeling sad that would quickly pass but it hasn't, and I'm not sure what to do. It's nothing too major, I still have good moods sometimes, so I even feel a bit silly posting about it when a lot of people have it worse than I, but I just really want to feel better. It's been about four or five weeks. Does anyone have any advice for this kind of thing? 

[_NaturalTalent_]

Hey There,

You definitely came to a great place to just get things off your chest. Its like, public and sociable, yet anonymous, so lucky you 🙂

It sounds like you have a few major changes on your plate at the moment, this will always cause stress at first until you get settled. You must recognise this in order to deal with it. You have gotten in early and have massive potential to get on top of it with ease.

It sounds like your at a turning point age, many people struggle with this because they don't understand what is happening. Luckily for you, this could be as simple as you waking up to the world and reforming your own beliefs to your own and not what you were raised to believe.

Everybody things what they were raised to believe is what they SHOULD believe but that's not true. You must embrace your own beliefs and follow your own thoughts and opinions.

I hate to scare you, but 4 to 5 weeks is still considered a pretty short phase for this sort of thing, however that's due to people not getting the help and support that they deserve...

I think you need to accept that you may just be at a turning point. Everybody faces this. sometimes I just call it a midlife crisis because that is the essential effect.

I hate to say it but even depressed people have good moods sometimes, id advise monitoring yourself if you can, if you find yourself more down than up, there's a problem, if you bounce up and down ALOT throughout the day, there's a problem.

I've recently gotten into monitoring my dreams, a lot of people struggle to put much stock in this but your mind WILL tell you the truth if you let it. If you remember dreams a lot that's great, if not try to write down what you remember when you get up each morning and run it by a 'Dream Dictionary' when you get the chance, you will be stunned to see how powerful your mind can be, and if your a person that's into spirituality/magic etc I STRONGLY recommend researching both dreams and mediation.

If you feel as though this isn't a just a phase, go see your/a GP and just talk about how your feeling. Don't accept medication straight off the bat, express your desire just to learn about what's going on with you.

Go to your parents or close friends and tell them your having trouble being happy sometimes at the moment, that some things that never used to bother you have started to.

Most of all don't just give in and assume your meant to be unhappy, your just starting out at life 🙂

NT

[Narniakid]

Hey Mireille, welcome to the forums and thank you for sharing with us.

I'm not surprised to hear you're feeling a bit down - moving out into a new social environment is a really significant change, and it's scary and sometimes it's not what we expected. Do not ever feel silly for posting or for feeling the way you do - comparing your problems to someone else's is pointless, because we all experience every day differently and we all handle things differently, and that's what make us human. Your feelings are valid simply because you feel them.

Is there any type of support available to you on your college campus? Quite often institutes like colleges will have councillors and therapists on-site for students to see when they're feeling overwhelmed. I'd definitely look into what kind of help you can access.

It sounds like you're going through some sort of identity crisis, which is quite common for young adults, particularly during transitions from home life to an independent living arrangement, and new friends or social groups. This happened to me when I finished high school - all of a sudden, I was thrown into the "real world" and as a result, or a coping mechanism, I totally rethought my whole outlook on life and thought about what I wanted to do and where I wanted to go and what I valued in my friends. In saying that, I was also introduced to the concept of mindfulness i.e. just living in the moment. Being pressured into career paths and so forth, it is so easy to forget to acknowledge and appreciate people and things around you in a moment. I encourage you to have a read of a self-help book on mindfulness.

Take what NT has commented into consideration, because a professional opinion from your GP is always a really good place to start, and they will be able to refer you to the appropriate specialist and/or treatment.

Crystal