having no one

meowcat · ‎09-04-2016

i feel like this is such a dumb cliche as it's a sentiment expressed by well, everyone, but i genuinely have no one. i don't have any friends, not in the "im not super close to anyone sort of way" but in the "the only contact on my phone is my mother and we hate each other" sort of way. My parents are the only family i have but were not close & they're making me move out because i dropped out of uni (who even fails first year arts the easiest course in the world? me...) im not sure how to cope anymore. its been about 8 months now since ive talked to anyone other than my mother. how pathetic am i? i dont want to invalidate how other people are feeling, but at the same time, there's a part of me that gets really mad to see people talk about being alone when their profile picture is them & their friend... even so, i know everyone can feel lonely but every bit of advice is always like "talk to your friends" "surround yourself with family" well what if i dont have any of that? what the hell am i meant to do?

Zeal · ‎09-04-2016

Hi Meow cat,

Welcome to the forum 😄

I'm really sorry to hear that you don't have people to spend time with and who you can go to for support. If you don't mind me asking, have you and your mother had a negative relationship for a long time, or is this more recent? You sound really frustrated and unhappy, and it seems that people keep giving you the same advice, which is unhelpful in your own situation. I really recommend you go to see your doctor (GP). Doctors can be seen for emotional difficulties, even though some people may use them for only physical sicknesses.

Dropping out of uni isn't at all rare actually, especially in first year. An Arts degree also isn't 'easy'. There are many people who don't attend uni because academia is not one of their strengths. Did you finish school recently? Straight from Year 12 I went to uni, but wasn't doing the work, was feeling lost and so fell very behind. I passed one subject and failed the other two. I didn't even sit the exam for chemistry. I had little motivation or energy. I worked at a retail job for a few months after stopping uni, before getting laid off because I was not assertive/confident. My boss was nice about it, as I did my best and was always polite and respectful.

In 2012, I pulled out of both semesters of uni (before the fails could go on my record) due to developing an atypical eating disorder (I didn't stop eating, exercise excessively, count calories, purge etc.) and being hospitalised. In 2013 I only did two subjects in Bachelor of Arts (two intro psychology classes) while I recovered. I realised I loved psychology and wanted to pursue it. In 2014, I did an internal transfer at my uni to Bachelor of Psychological Science and started studying full-time. I started volunteering with an organisation that supports kids and teens with disabilities, which I'm very glad I did. This year I'm doing my third year in psych, so I will finish the degree in November 🙂

I still have anxiety now, but it's helped by medication.

You are not pathetic, so please don't think that. Please talk to your doctor, or see a counsellor. It won't 'fix' things, but may be helpful for you to start making positive changes over time 🙂

Best wishes,

SM

kindness94 · ‎13-04-2016

Hi Meao Cat,

You are not one bit pathetic at all and you aren't alone in this, we all stick together and help lift each other up. The first year of Uni can be very stressful, especially with other things in life that contribute to making it even harder. May I ask, did you enjoy uni at all? Or did you enjoy school?

Have you tried to sit your parents down and just tell them that you are struggling with not knowing what to do? Sometimes a conversation with family can truly help also talking to your Gp will also help give you some direction.

Best Wishes,

Kindness.