Feeling sad and confused

[georgiamolly]

Hi, I am new here

a few months ago I found out I have a b12 deficiency, I've had all treatment and it is much better now. During these last few month I have been feeling very sad and I am always down and tired... I am always crying about these thoughts I am having.

i keep having these negative thoughts about my boyfriend, I always think 'what if I don't love him' 'do I love him' 'why am I thinking this' 'this is so wrong'

these thoughts make me extremely upset where I can not stop cryiny. I love my boyfriend more than anything. I do not want too loose him or hurt him. I don't want to break up with him.

but these scary thoughts are telling me different. I don't know what to do anymore I am sick of feeling this way all the time.

Im so scared I keep thinking 'if I'm having these thoughts it must be true' but are these real thoughts? I hope not 😞

i honestly don't know what I would do without him, he has supported me through everything. I have no idea why I keep thinking these thoughts! It scares me so much. I can't handle this anymore it is ruining me inside!

Why am I having these scary thoughts? Is this normal?

I do nothing all day everyday, would this have an impact on my negative thoughts?

Please help!

[blondguy]

Hello georgiamolly

Welcome to the forums and good on you for posting too

You do have great strength to post here and to say that you are crying. Crying is healthy and a good way of venting our thoughts

The scary thoughts are very normal Georgia. When we start doubting ourselves is also normal.....everyone does it.

I understand where you are coming from as I used to have these stray thoughts too.....If I can ask you about what your average day....do you have family or a couple of friends available, even on the mobile? Its always great to have even one person that you can vent to when you need a hand

you are not alone here, these thoughts are common and sometimes when we do nothing everyday these thoughts can become more real. They are still only thoughts georgiamolly

What did you used to do during the day?

There are many super kind people on the forums that are here for you. It would be great if you could stick around

my kind thoughts

Paul

[georgiamolly]

Thank you for replying Paul!

i feel like a horrible person for thinking this about my boyfriend who I love so much! I have no idea why I think this, our relationship is perfect! It's so scary that I've had these thoughts for a few months now. I don't want these thoughts 😞

Yes i talk to my family and friends about this but they can't really understand why I think these things or feel this way 😞

will these thoughts go away, why do I have them?

i finished school last year and started Uni, but unfortunately The course I was doing wasn't for me so I am currently not studying. I haven't got a job at the moment I've been looking for a job for a long time. My friends all have jobs and are at uni. I do nothing all day everyday.

it has never seemed to affect me like it has the past few months but my mum tells me 'it has to start affecting you somehow, even if you don't realise' is she right? Is this true?

[mudjimbaboy]

Its really dificult to control thoughts while your mind is racing. ..it happens to me alot.i think of many topics at the same time.and its TAXING. to say the least. Also it does seem as though your just a bit insecure at the moment.maybe thats why you think of WHAT IFS. Most people go through that.but not everybody has racing thoughts. Its ok.YOU ARNT LOSING YOUR MIND.you are a good person. YOU DESERVE TO BE HAPPY. bad times will pass. RIMIND YOURSELF YOU WILL BE FINE. .. ok?? Cheers. Im MAX.

[blondguy]

Hi Georgiamolly

Your mum has made a good point....doing nothing all day can make us focus on things and make them a lot worse than what they really are...the longer we do nothing we can get bogged down and 'overthink' any negatives..

Whether its study or work (even volunteering) an occupied mind is a healthy mind...

you are not on your own here at all, great to have you as a member of the BB family 🙂

thanks for posting back too 🙂

Paul

[geoff]

hello Georgiamolly, welcome to the site and thanks for posting your comment.
The magic words you use, 'negative thoughts' are a sign of depression, but more so they are intrusive thoughts to a lot of people, especially those suffering from OCD, however all you are doing is punishing yourself with these questions, because deep down you know you love him, and if there does come a time when you start arguing and then feel uncomfortable you will know.
Let me give you another example, you go out and buy a little puppy, because that's the pup you have had your eyes on, and when the pup makes a mistake inside the house you go and clean it up, but this doesn't change how much you still love it, does it, no, you still cuddle it and take it for a walk, no questions asked.
I'm certainly not referring the pup to your b/friend, but the principles are still the same, you love him with all your heart, so there is no need to put yourself through this a pain that isn't there. Geoff.x

[georgiamolly]

Thank you everyone for your words!

it is so hard to stop thinking these thoughts. It is like my brain is so used to thinking them, that I'm starting to believe it which makes me ever more upset.

my mind keeps saying 'but what if I don't actually love him, what if this isn't depression' it's such a horrible feeling to think this about someone who I love dearly

i am hoping these thoughts will go away after awhile, I can't stand them anymore.

I want to feel the way I did a few months ago, I was perfectly happy with my life and boyfriend and nothing has changed but this dark cloud that had come over the top of me raining all this sadness and scary thoughts ....

Has anyone ever experienced what I am thinking about a loved one? How did you handle it? Did it go away?

Did you go back to your old self?

[Demi1]

Hi georgiamolly, it is lovely to meet you 🙂 Thank you so much for posting and being strong enough to share your thoughts with us. I'm sorry to hear you are going through a difficult time and are struggling to fend off these thoughts, although it is important that you understand we all have doubts/negative thoughts disrupting how we really feel. It is perfectly normal to feel confused and wonder if these thoughts are true, although I don't doubt for a second that you do love him 🙂 Because either way, you are constantly coming back to that question right? You are wondering if these "thoughts" are real, and whether you actually do love him? I believe deep down your love for him will always be there, but may be disrupted with these doubtful/negative thoughts; which as Geoff previously mentioned can be a sign of depression. I agree whole-heartedly with Paul/Blondguy that having an outlet/ friend/ family member to discuss how/what you are feeling with would be extremely beneficial for you, as a lot of the time our re-occuring thoughts continue to interrupt our daily lives until they are completely acknowledged. I think having that person/ this forum to discuss anything and everything to do with you will be extremely helpful and hopefully supportive 🙂 We are all here for you, and ready to listen x

Demi