everything is beginning to build up and im struggling

[srance]

Hi, i'm a new member and i just wanted to get some advice about my current situation!

im a very active person, and i constantly strive to get fitter and stronger but the last two years have been really hard, ive dived in and out of binge eating and bulimia and in a way i think its because when i get fitter and stronger my figure isnt as skinny as nice as models, and all my family members constantly make comments about my weight and my figure and keeping myself slimmer, or as a girl i shouldn't be aiming to to so sporty, i'm not going to become a professional athlete anyway.

Of course im not going to become an athlete but i don't see any reason i shouldnt be able to play sport. ive been forced to quit sports that i love so dearly because it gives me broad shoulders, or big legs and ive been told to go on long runs which i hate just to lose weight because my parents think my muscle is fat.

my mum is incredibly strict on her own diet, constantly weighing herself and showing off her weight, and even my dad says he wont accept it if im not a certain weight. this was a while ago but it still hurts so much.

ive recently had both a meniscus and ACL injury from football and my surgery was in late August. that means a full year before i am allowed to play any kind of contact sports and its been about 48 days and ive only just started to be able to squat again.

When i first heard about my injury i was so, so, so devastated. i was about to start my rowing season and i was ready to get fitter and fitter. being unable to do sport but still being hungry all the time while doing nothing is so hard. i cannot lose weight or get fitter being unable to do anything. my mum says shes glad i wasn't able to row becuase it would give me broad shoulders.

i don't understand why its up to her what my body should look like. but at the same time while i love getting fitter and stronger, i don't like how my body looks and i still need to reduce my body fat %.

my family members keep giving me backhanded compliments, saying oh your legs look SO NICE now, because i haven't been able to work out and theyve slimmed down to a more feminine shape and it makes me feel so bad when they comment on it literally everyday.

i feel like im not understood and i really wish i was

[_Hotdogwater_]

Hi Scrance,
I know what you're going through, I'm quite a muscular women and it can be very hard because of the pressure to fit into the slim model catagory. It's important to just be who you are and not be embarrased. Don't start piling the pressure of dieting or body image onto yourself. It's much more important to be fit, healthy, strong and capable then to fit into the slim model catagory.

It's very important to stay fit and healthy. It sounds like you really love sport, so it doesn't matter if you aren't going to be a profesional athlete, you seem very passionate about sport, it seems like something you really care about and enjoy, so keep it up! Don't listen to your parents. It's important to build sport into your life.

I had a injury a year ago and it stopped me playing basketball for 3 months, I was also pretty devastated. During that time I tried to pick up new hobbies to replace sport. I decided to pick up chess and video games to occupy myself as I was getting better. It sounds like you really enjoy sport, so maybe try a sport that you can do with your injury as your recovering or try out some new hobbies. Chess is now a permenate hobby I love and am very passionate about.
I'm so very sorry about the comments made by your parents, it must be so hard, if you ever need to talk about it, I'm here for you.
Best wishes, Hotdogwater

[geoff]

Hello Srance, and a warm welcome to the site.

You need to remember that everyone that posts a comment on this site has their own problem, to them, it's very important and so it should be, but you can't compare your condition to another person's condition, because to you, and that's the point, it involves you and this thread is yours.

What you said that you don't think you should talk to your parents is a good idea because being compared to your mother is not viable, you have to concentrate on yourself and as well as Butterfly, you can contact Kids Helpline 1800 55 1800 by phone, web chat or online who can adapt to all situations.

Sometimes we feel as though we have overcome a problem, but there may be other trigger points we had not expected to suddenly appear, so you need to be aware if this does happen.

Best wishes.

Geoff.

[srance]

Hi Hotdogwater,

thank you so much for your reply!

thank you for understanding that sport means a lot to me and suggesting i pick out a new hobby, i will definitely try that.

i think when gyms open and i can start my progress into recovery and getting stronger again it'll just make everything much better and it will also be easier to tell myself that although i'm not looking quite as slim as others, at least i'm progressing in the gym and getting fitter.

although i think other muscular women have such gorgeous bodies its just a bit different when i see my own and especially because my parents constantly comment on it.

thank you again

[srance]

Hi Geoff,

i think it has helped me to understand that even if it isnt as a big a problem compared to others it is still the most important in my life right now and so i should pay attention to it

i understand there are definitely many trigger points im not aware of which has caused me to relapse etc and so i definitely am planning to try and reach out to butterfly or some helpline.

thank you for your reply!