Dreading the days ahead

[Lylall]

I’ve just finished high school and am taking a gap year this year. There was a time when I thought a gap year would be so enjoyable and filled with happy times but all I’m feeling now is boredom and self doubt.

i feel like I’m not doing anything worthwhile and I’m wasting my time. I feel depressed and bored but at the same time I don’t want to do anything. I never have any energy or strength.

i wake up and often feel dread at the thought of the day ahead. I feel so much pressure and obligation but without any good reason. I have a casual job which is a cause for great anxiety, I always feel as if I’m being criticised when I’m working. It feels like such a burden.

I am feeling a lot of self doubt and frustration at not knowing what I want to do; not having any real plans. I wish I was more confident and positive and could actually enjoy my life. Currently I am filled with so much hate and sadness and self-loathing. There is nothing that excites me or that I am passionate about, I just feel empty and useless.

[Just Sara]

Hi and welcome Lylall;

Taking a gap year's a great decision. I also think you're putting far too many expectations on yourself while transitioning into young adulthood. Try to remember; it's all about balance.

Boredom's a normal response considering you've been in a constant routine for the past 13 yrs yeah? Becoming independent with more responsibility too.

Learning to relax and be ok with that is part of the process. Physically, your body's been exposed to a lot of stress over the past couple of yrs. There's a pattern to it that's created in the brain. (Sort of like an addiction)

Now that the stress isn't there anymore, your mind is trying to create stress to keep the feelings going and satisfy the brain's need for adrenaline. (Eg...Feelings at work) If stress isn't present, the brain has to transition back to its normal state of calm. This takes time and can cause symptoms like uneasiness, crying, nausea or anger. All very normal ok.

That's why taking a gap year can give you an advantage over those going straight on to study. You have a chance to face this life change earlier which gets it out of the way so you can focus on study later on without problems of this nature.

I have to take my hat off to you because it must've taken quite of lot of courage to front up here and voice your concerns. So well done!

I might also suggest you see your GP and tell them how you're feeling. Seeing a counsellor would be a good place to start.

I really wish you well. At work, just do what you're hired to do, no more, no less. Smile a lot as this makes others feel good. Use this opportunity to get you used to working. And, use your pays to have a great time with friends and a significant other on weekends! 🙂

Don't hesitate to write back and ask questions or talk; get things off your chest.

Gentle thoughts;

Sez

[geoff]

hi Lylall, good on you for coming to this site.

Taking a year off after all the hectic year of studying, learning and memorising is exactly what I wanted to do, but was pushed into doing a 3 year course, but for you to do this is really good, but very sorry that it's not working out that way and that's why you feel people are criticising you.

Remember it's a different situation you are in now and it's only early days since you started this job, get used to your workmates, establish a routine and use the dollars to buy what you always wanted.

If this job doesn't excite you, then look around and apply for something you are interested in doing, you don't have to stay where you are, but please book an appointment with your doctor, we want you to succeed.

Try doing something you like doing, this may need just a bit of encouragement. Geoff.