Hi all,
Just did the old drive-to-uni turn around come home trick because I was feeling anxious about walking into a lecture room full of people (I was 5 mins late). I was/am anxious about my appearance, with usual culprits like red eyes, pasty skin, unshaven, thinning head of hair all chiming in.
It's really unfair that we are constantly bombarded with unobtainable images of perfection (models in advertising, on TV, in movies, etc) and are expected to conform to stereotypes of how we are supposed to look like and how we are supposed to act. It feels confirmed everywhere I go.
I'm writing this at a park that I used to play at when I was younger and I don't really want to go home (it's cold, dark and a bit lonely) but I don't really want to go to uni either. I feel very unimportant there, like I'm part of a production line designed to shovel out employees.
Having said all that the rational part of me says that 1. No one is perfect (image wise) 2. I have spent a weekend drinking and not sleeping a lot, so these feelings really should have been expected 3. Getting a degree is like learning to read or write, it takes a while, but it's worth it in the end.
Making the way I feel catch up with the way I'm can rationally think is the part I'm having trouble with. Thanks for listening.
Rant over,
Ben
