Coping?

[_goldfish_:o]

Hey, this post is kinda just a rant I guess (anyone can feel free to comment/join in). Do you ever just feel like nobody cares until you're not coping? Until you are so lost inside your own thoughts that the effort it would take to help yourself is enormous? It just feels like no matter how many times I tell/want to tell someone that I'm not quite okay. There is always either an internal or external voice telling me that there's nothing anyone can do until your struggling to stay afloat. It's a bad system and I think it's something that really needs to change. Anyway there's my rant, thanks for reading 

Goldfish 🙂

[geoff]

Hello Goldfish, hi and welcome.

It's true some people don't care how you are feeling, even though it is a struggle, simply because they may not want to be involved or perhaps they have their own problems to consider, but posting here means there are people who have been through this themselves and understand exactly what you are dealing with, even though we don't know the particulars doesn't matter.

If you want to tell us a little then please do, I know it's early for you.

Geoff.

Life Member.

[Beeee]

Hello goldfish,

Thank you for sharing. I can understand not wanting to tell anyone how you're feeling until you can no longer cope on your own. For me, it's a worry that I will be a burden on others or that it's a reflection on my own ability and I should be strong enough to cope on my own. But when I have shared, I have found my closest supporters always willing and happy to help. I know that if someone I cared about was struggling, I would do anything I could to help them and so I hope that anyone who cares about me would do the same. 

Have you ever taken any steps to change this system?

Eager for your response,

Beeee

[ecomama]

Hey Goldfish (lol gotta laugh, I wrote GODfish to start with... )

Yes I know what you describe can occur for sure. 
I am quite sure this kind of "positive" reinforcement can indeed KEEP people in certain states, with an unwillingness to put positive Mental Health practices in their lives as habits. 
Therefore potentially staying unwell until.....

Think of it this way... if a child craves attention (their motivation) and ONLY gets that attention (reinforcement) when they cry or whinge (behaviour that works!), then what is that child learning? 

To keep on doing just that. 

If a parent realises that creating 'intrinsic motivation' in their child is the most powerful, empowering force they can reinforce, then things go much more smoothly for that child as an adult. 

I guess my question for you to think about is, what is your motivation? 
If there's a need for external reinforcement then you may always feel disappointed that others are not meeting your needs, BUT.... 

if you create ways to fulfil your OWN motivations, you will grow stronger and become more empowered. 

You've got this, it takes a lot of raising ourselves. 

I love "The School of Life" saying to a person, "What was the question? Oh it doesn't matter what the question is.... the answer is look to your childhood". Commonly called FOO issues. Family Of Origin. 

Love EM