Confused

[beep891]

I just joined this website because I've been feeling kind of different lately, and I don't know if it means I'm slightly depressed or what, I'm just super confused.

I've been feeling so stressed out with all the work I have to do for uni, I literally feel like i'm constantly on the verge of tears thinking about how much I have to do. I've failed subjects in the past which has added an extra year and a bit to my degree, and i'm terrified of doing it again, but i'm sitting here looking at all the work I have to do and I can't stop crying. 

 I've also been talking to someone online for a few months, he originally made me so happy because we would talk constantly, but lately we don't talk as much, although it's still everyday I feel that things are different. He told me a while ago that he's talking to other girls, and I didn't realise how many, he won't tell me an exact number but I know it's a lot, and it makes me really upset, which I've told him but it doesn't stop him from talking to them. I feel like he may be one of the main factors making me so upset lately, but at the same time, if I go a day without talking to him I hate it!

I'm so confused and sick of feeling so down, not sure what to do, as much as I love my family and friends this isn't the kind of thing I'd talk to them about. 

[Busymum]

I'm sorry you are feelin like this. It sounds like you have a couple of issues by your post. Try and tackle one issue at a time. With uni - is there any way you can get an extension on some of the work? Or drop a subject perhaps? Maybe if you can lighten the workload it won't feel as overwhelming. With this guy - perhaps choosing not to message him for a while and just working on one uni task might help. I find when I just choose one thing and only concentrate on that one thing it gets done, I feel better and I don't feel as overwhelmed.

[beep891]

Thanks for your reply, I really appreciate it.

I was definitely considering dropping a subject, however it would just mean this time next year I'll have 4 subjects, whereas at the moment I only have 3, so it would definitely help me now to drop it, but I'm worried that next year I'll be even more stressed out.

Concentrating on one thing at a time sounds like a good idea, I find that when I think about all the things I have to do it just gets so overwhelming.

Thanks again for replying, I really appreciate it.

[Narniakid]

Hi beep891, welcome to the forums and thank you for sharing with us.

I'm sorry to hear you're not coping with your uni degree - I'm not in uni myself but most of my friends are along with my twin sister, and I see how much work they pile on, and each subject doesn't seem to take any consideration of how much work your other subjects also require.

What I suggest you do is take a step back and revise your time management. Definately tackle one thing at a time if you can, and when studying take regular breaks and give yourself enough down time. Make sure you're getting enough sleep too. Try the rewards system; "if I do 2 hours of my essay, I'll reward myself by watching a episode of my favourite show". Just be careful that you don't fall into the habit of rushing things to get to the reward.

As for the boy you're talking to, does he go to your uni? Have you met in person? Do you see a future with him? Consider what you're getting out of this relationship and whether or not the stress and anxiety from it is worth it.

Keep your chin up!

Crystal

[beep891]

Thanks Crystal, ultimately I've decided to drop one of my courses for this semester so I'm really hoping that's going to ease my workload and make me feel better.

 As for this boy, we haven't met because he lives in England, and I really don't know if there's a future there, I found out he really really likes this girl that lives a few hours away from him, i'm pretty sure he visited her on the weekend, and that's made me feel worse, although I know he cares about me, we live on opposite sides of the world and of course he's going to meet girls and form relationships with them when they're so close, but it still hurts a lot as we've been talking pretty much non stop for 6 months. I do think it might be best to stop talking to him, but I honestly don't know if I could do it, ultimately I don't want to lose him, whether he's just a friend or more. I'm planning on moving to England in the next few years so I wouldn't be happy losing all communication if that ever happened. But then again, if I moved over there and we did get into a relationship I don't know if I could trust him considering he's a bit of a player. Sorry to go on and on, but getting all this out definitely helps. Thanks again