can't share

[blueyes123]

i find it really hard to share things about myself, especially about my depression or anxiety stuff. its really hard when people ask if you're okay and you just really cant tell them but they wont let it go. i hate it when my teachers ask me why i was late or away and my only answer if "well i couldn't get myself out of bed this morning" but i cant actually say that 

i think im afraid of what people might say if they knew, most people don't understand. 

i wish i could find a way to be open about it without other people judging me or thinking im an attention seeker

[Narniakid]

Hey blueyes123, welcome to the forums and thank you for being brave enough to post here. 

It is a scary thing opening up, for any of us, but it is a vital step towards recovery. Whether you open up to your school counsellor, your parents or a close friend, you need to tell someone, because keeping it bottled up is the worse thing you can do. 

If your school had a counsellor, as most schools do, I urge you to sit down and talk to them about how you're feeling. The other option, which I also advise, is to go to your local GP for a professional diagnosis and a referral to a psychologist - this option is a little pricey, and you will have to tell your mum if you're under 18, but most people find it pretty helpful, including myself. 

Remember the forums are a judge-free zone, as well as the hotline, and we are always willing to listen. I hope you can be brave enough to seek some help.

Crystal

[pockets4health]

Hey blueyes123,

Thanks for reaching out. It's ok that you find it hard to open up about what you're going through. It's something that is so very personal

[pockets4health]

Hi Blueyes123,

Thanks for reaching out. It's ok that you find it hard to open up about what you're going through. It is something that is so very personal and often the hardest to talk about when you're in the middle of dealing with it all. I have found that the only thing that has made my depression easier to talk about is time. You don't have to share it with everyone just yet, you can do it when and if you're ready. That said, I hope that you are getting some professional help - with a GP or Psychologist/Counsellor. How are things with your family? Could they communicate to your school for you?

It might also be beneficial to think about who the people are that you trust, the people that have been there for you, that know who you are with or without your depression. These relationships would be a good place to start opening up and talking. Once you start that dialogue in a safe environment, it will get easier to speak up about what you're going through and what support you need.

You don't have to tell your teachers if you don't feel comfortable but it might be beneficial to just seek out one person within school that you trust who you can talk to so you know you have somewhere you can go if you're finding it really hard.

I hope that you are able to find some mentors/family/friends to reach out to because I think they will be of tremendous help during your recovery. If not you always have this space, you will always be safe here.

V

[morgs29]

Hey there,

I so understand what you mean. It's like, you want to share with some people, but your voice just sits there in the pit of your stomach. It can be excruciatingly hard to open up and be vulnerable with others when we feel down or experience a mental illness.

My advice would be to visit your school counsellor and see what they can do for you. Often, they can create a well-being plan with you - so things like being late for school are understood by your teachers. I would also suggest visiting your GP, or speaking to someone you trust about how you feel and that you want to find help. 

Do you have certain family members / friends who you feel safe enough to open up to? Remember, the beyondblue forums are always here for you to reach out to, as well as the online chat option and helpline. You are not alone in this. In your hardest moments, try to hold on to that.

Take care,

Morgan

[_NaturalTalent_]

Hey BlueEyes,

What it sounds like you experience in the mornings is something I struggle with daily too. Being in a full time work position greatly increases the stress I deal with, as I'm sure full time schooling would for you too.

Ontop of this stress if I have any time off I must visit my GP for a medical certificate to prove I wasn't just bunking off.

It is a very difficult thing to do but you must not let this stress get to you. If your teachers are pressuring you, I would suggest getting your parents (whom I'm sure are aware of your condition) to either come in to see your teachers or write a generalised note/letter about your issues, requesting them to back off a bit as it is an ongoing problem that they are adding stress to.

School councillors can often help with this sort of thing as Morgan said. If you have a regular GP that knows what's going on you can also request them to write a generalised letter stating you are suffering from an ongoing medical condition. Putting all these things together or even one at a time should help alleviate some stress and incoming pressures.

You could also request that copies of any work you may miss on days off be saved for when you return. Although I remember from my past experience this isn't always possible, it will show your teacher that your not trying to just get out of anything.

Often it is those we trust or know best that are the most difficult to talk to about our problems. Therefore this is a great place for you to come, anonymity can help you talk to someone. What I mean is faceless strangers are easier to talk to for a lot of people.

Expressive relationships can be built up also over time. What I mean here is that you pick someone you trust to keep your confidence, and think you would like to be able to talk to, then you start working on it little by little. tell them one small thing at a time, you should, over time, find yourself talking for longer & longer. At the same time you will be having a friend close by for support, that may even start asking questions and offering advice, that both open your eyes to coping strategies or give you reassurance that your not over reacting.

When your anonymous though, you cant really be judged or thought to be attention seeking. especially among your peers in distress! Quite often those that don't understand or judge, just haven't been through anything big yet, their time will come and they will remember you & how strong you must of been.