Break-up

[Cassie1994]

I have depression and have had it for about 7 months now. It's been hard on my girlfriend because I'm just so emotional all the time. Yesterday I couldn't stop crying and she told me she didn't love me anymore because of my depression and that she was moving back to her home 6 hours away from me. She's now gone but I'll be moving back to my family too tomorrow which is in the same town as hers. I don't know what to do because I'm still so in love with her. We'd been going out for almost 14 months. She keeps telling me I need to focus on getting myself better. I just need hope that we might get back together, we fell in love for a reason we can do it again right?

[S0S]

Hi Cassie,

i really feel I can relate to your situation. I just posted a thread titled need help, on there I wrote my story and how I'm feeling. I didn't mention on there tho about my partner. I am suffering from a deep depression like yourself and it's having a negative impact on our relationships. I know he doesn't want to me with me anymore because of how sad I am. I feel guilty that I'm not the same person he got into a relationship with and I don't blame him for not wanting to be with me.

The question I ask myself is am I actually able to handle a break up when I'm already so down, I don't think I will be able to cope. How do you feel about your partner saying that and you's breaking up especially while you are depressed?

sos 🙂

[Cassie1994]

I don't think I've felt so bad in my life. I'm having dreams, waking up in the middle of the night thinking she's next to me then I realise she isn't and I just ball my eyes out until I fall asleep again. The way I'm coping is im telling myself anything is possible. I'm telling myself to focus on me and when I get better she might take me back. It is the most difficult thing I've been through

[Zeal]

Hi Cassie,

Welcome to the forum!

I unfortunately just lost what I had written to you so far, so here I go again! 😛

I'm sorry to hear that depression has affected your relationship. Your girlfriend saying she doesn't love you anymore because of your depression was unfair. She probably didn't mean this, but was unable to cope with seeing you so affected and upset, and said that as a form of justification for slowing down the relationship and to 'protect' herself. Depression is an illness, and not a state of mind. Anyone can get depression, and it is not anyone's fault. Your girlfriend must have been finding it challenging to understand what you're going through.

Focusing on getting yourself better as a priority is crucial, both for your own wellbeing and for your loved ones.
Have you sought professional help yet for the depression? If you have, that's great. If not, make an appointment with a doctor (GP) as soon as possible. They can give you guidance, and can refer you to another professional (if needed) for more personalised help with the depressive symptoms. In addition, using helpline services as well can be great for support. Beyondblue's 24/7 helpline is on 1300 22 4636. If calling a helpline seems a bit foreign or uncomfortable, this site can help: http://au.reachout.com/calling-a-helpline

If you would like to have good-quality online resources to use in your own-time, I recommend these two:

http://www.mindhealthconnect.org.au/

http://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/resources/infopax.cfm?Info_ID=37

The Beyondblue website also has a wealth of resources, particularly in the Get support and The facts menu sections.

I hope something I've said has been helpful. It would be great to hear back from you 🙂

Best wishes,

Zeal

[S0S]

I wish I had your strength. Your doing an amazing job, keep at it and you will be better in no time.

[geoff]

hi Cassie, it's always sad when a relationship breaks up because one of you has depression, but this isn't your fault but that's what your g/friend doesn't realise, because how she feels is that you should be on top of the world because you have her, so there isn't any depression, unfortunately this illness doesn't work this way, it will try and destroy anyone that is on the verge of becoming depression.
It won't take much for this illness to grab you, all it needs is a small opening in your personality that you leave unguarded and then it will grab you.
Some people are able to avoid this, but if it continually happens it can then slowly wear you down.
I know you love her with all your heart, but firstly you have to take care of yourself and seek help from your doctor, because if this g/friend does move on there will be other girls and you don't want the same situation to happen, that's why it's so important to take care of yourself, so that you are able to build up your strength.
However if she knows that you are getting the help you need this maybe enough for her to come back to you, I hope so. Geoff.