Young people

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Eeep! When study is overwhelming! - Tips, ideas and coping strategies

replies: 51

Hi! Just thought I’d make a post with some tips for study. I know this is something we can all struggle with. These are all suggestions so feel free to take them or leave them! Hope they help! If you only remember one thing, let it be this: You are important. Your grades don’t define you. (support) Studying can feel isolating but know you’re not alone! Reach out – and find or make friends that can support you along the way. If you’re having trouble finding some friends, join some local communities or clubs! They have lots at Uni’s and even stuff like open days are great ways to meet new people and find out what’s happening. Study groups can also be a great way to meet people and stay motivated. Also remind yourself why you’re doing this; inspirational wallpapers or quotes can be super inspiring. Remember the saying about the oxygen mask? If you can’t take care of yourself first studying will be harder. You are important. You know the drill - water, food, exercise, sleep. Try to stay calm. Stuff that might be able to help include mindfulness, breathing exercises, colouring in, going for walks, journaling, listening to music… If you’re struggling – reach out. See a therapist. Talk to your student counsellor. If you need help, don’t be afraid to ask for it. Also lots of Universities and TAFE offer disability services – which includes conditions like Depression and Anxiety. (study) Find the right study space for you. Maybe that’s in your room, or a coffee shop, or the library. Some people find that noise helps; other people not so much. If you like particular kinds of noise, you can find ‘coffee shop’ noise or ‘rain sounds’ to help concentrate. Make a plan. It helps to do it often so it becomes a habit. Anytime you get a due date, write it down. Maybe you could use a diary, planner, bullet journal or an app. I find the 30/30 App helpful - study for a bit and then break for a bit. You can also get add-on’s for your computer to block sites like Facebook if you find them too distracting. Find out what study technique works for you. Do you like cue cards? Mind maps? Colour coding? Does highlighting stuff help you remember? Charts, maps, diagrams? Recorded lectures? Goals! These are so important – not just writing down deadlines but rewarding yourself for meeting them. Even making smaller goals like ‘read two pages from a textbook’ can help. Break it down into bite size pieces, and don’t forget to reward yourself after!

NEW TO THIS FORUM? Please read this first

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The Young People space is a sub-forum within the wider Beyond Blue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss anxiety, depression and other related life issues. If you are aged over 25, please be mindful that this forum is a space for younger people to connect and provide peer support for each other. 2. Content from this sub-forum is displayed on both the beyondblue and youthbeyondblue websites. 3. Please bear in mind that some members find content relating to suicide and/or self-harm distressing or triggering. If you would like to post on these topics, please do so in our Suicidal Thoughts and Self Harm section. Please see also our guidelines for making posts on this topic. Posts made here in the Young People sub-forum containing content relating to suicide and/or self-harm will be moved. 4. These forums are moderated, so your posts may not appear straightaway. Information on how our system works can be found here. Being familiar with our community rules can help ensure that your posts appear online as quickly as possible. 5. This is a peer support community, and to get the best out of being here we recommend that you 'give support to receive support'. More on how that works here.

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HSC exam stress as a high achiever

replies: 1

Hey all. This post might be a little messy as I'm currently very stressed and had my second mental breakdown today. I'm considered to be one of the top students in my Year 12 cohort by both my peers and teachers; not the dux, but certainly up there. However, my school isn't exactly a smart school so in comparison to the whole NSW, I'm probably not up there. Regardless, the expectations to achieve amazing HSC results from all classmates, teachers and parents are instilled into me. Because if you're near the top, it makes sense to achieve a good ATAR right? Well, that's not happening to me at all. Since the HSC exams started, I had failed to perform my best during the external exams (with the exception of two subjects). I nearly vomited before one of them, affecting my ability to think properly in the first half (however I cooled down afterwards, so I had no reason to apply for illness form). Furthermore I've experienced sleeping problems, from not falling asleep straight away to waking up near 4am after nightmares of the HSC (happened last night as well). Not only did I fail to perform my best, I had let down my entire cohort too due to your overall cohort performance in external exams influencing everyone's HSC marks... I feel horrible knowing that I will be reason why my peers will fall short of their ATAR goals because silly me did terrible! So I have not only let myself down, but my classmates too. In the past, I have attempted to open up about my HSC exam stress to others but again, I'm considered to be among the top. Thus, I usually receive responses along the lines of "You're doing well anyway!" or "People have it worse than you, some are actually failing their subjects!". Which is true, I know this. I know that many are struggling to pass their subjects, some have strict parents while others are going through tough times, like severe family issues. And I have tried to comfort myself with this, but didn't work. No matter what, I still feel stressed knowing that everyone is expecting me to do well. It makes me feel like I'm an ungrateful kid complaining about first world problems, and that I have zero right to complain about the pressures of the HSC. As a result, I've repressed these emotions for the entirety of the HSC exam period and it's taken a toll on my mental health. Had few breakdowns, cried myself to sleep and I feel very alone in my stress with no one to talk to. Everyone I know has it worse. Thank you for taking the time to read this.

Is this a toxic friendship?

replies: 4

So I have this best friend. And when we are good, we are super strong. But when we are bad, I am always super sad and I always feel as though I have done something wrong. It's as though I can't stick up for myself around him and talk to him because I am scared that he will get mad and I will lose him. Some days all his wants to do is hang around me but other days (like today) he wont even sit next to me in class and then when we get out of that class he talks to me like nothing happened. He genuinely messed with my mood in a way that no one else can and I know he is really hurting me as this has been going on for a while. He can be really mean to me and I will be on the verge of crying, but as soon as he is nice to me again I instantly forgive him and pretend like it didn't happen. If this was anyone else I would stop being friends with them, but like it's him I don't want to stop being friends with him because I want him in my life. I just don't know what to do.

Work Anxiety & Impostor Syndrome as a New Graduate

replies: 1

Hi all! I'm a 23 year old new graduate working in the health industry and currently feeling extremely lost and stressed... I started working at my new job around 6 months ago but every single day I can't help but feel like I don't know what I'm doing here... especially when patients don't trust me or question my experience and I feel like I'm constantly playing a game of catch up to prepare and revise for the next day's work and caseload. Maybe it is that I didn't study hard enough and somehow faked my way into graduating with first class honours..(sounds nice, doesn't it??) but there's this extreme sense of confusion about how I got there when I feel like I can barely remember so much of the content we covered in my degree.. I feel like there's this disconnect between who I'm expected to be and the work I'm supposed to do.. I feel so lost and exhausted and I'm just terrified that I'm going to get found out and fired any day. I'm terrified of continuing to ask questions at work because I don't want to be "found out" as not knowing things that I think I would be expected to know I feel like the only time I can be stress free is when I'm asleep, or have my mind off work on my one day off a week. I'm finding more and more recently that I don't even find solace in food and I don't have much of an appetite anymore because I feel too stressed to eat It definitely hasn't helped that I was recently involved in an incident where a patient I was looking after had a rather bad fall and broke her arm... it was an unfortunate accident and I've been told time and time again by my very supportive team members that nobody is to blame but I still feel terrible about it considering that I was the only non-assistant staff member on site with the patients at the time. It's really difficult to discuss my concerns with my parents because they tell me I should be grateful that I have a relatively well-paying job that they can only imagine is "stress free" compared to the 3x minimum wage cleaning and domestic work jobs they had to work to raise me... and that if I had studied medicine I would be 10x more stressed so I should be happy with where I am. I guess I'm just reaching out to the void to ask whether I'm alone in feeling this? And maybe if someone has been in this situation before how to manage it? Are all new grads as lost as I am knowledge and experience wise or is it just me??

I currently feel alone

replies: 3

Hello, hope you're doing well. I recently realized that its been more than two years since I had someone who I felt comfortable sharing my life with. By sharing my life I mean feeling not only comfortable, but excited, to tell them about my day. I had a best friend in middle school before I moved to Australia, had another best friend in highschool, and gradually made friends here and there, but then the friendships slowly fell apart. It wasn't a single fight, it was months of not talking to eachother and realizing that I don't miss them that much (usually they would ignore my messages and I'd realize that I was pretty much always starting the interactions). My situation is excarcerbated by the fact that I am bad with social cues, do not currently have a job, and am scared to open up again. I have attended over 25 events on meetup.com and many other events from various other websites and the usual pattern is I see people once, maybe get along, and then never see them again. And even when I was enrolled in uni and had interactions with the same people I never really connected with anyone.

Regret from playing games all day, lacking work ethic

replies: 6

It always happens when I have a day off from school. Even more common on the holidays when I'm alone. I would play the whole morning and a good chunk of the afternoon (with tasks in mind but no motivation) only to realise and suffer from regret to this. There's this tingling feeling of playing video games all through the day, only to stop for an occasional toilet break or lunch. Which would be rather flawed. Fortunately, I have a diary, but I've barely used it over the last week. I have managed to use it before but it's not like old habits die hard. It didn't stick for very long and I'm back to step one, having annoyance over what I had done. Simply continuing to regret would be... well, useless, so I want to stop having the same events occur again and again. Has anyone else experienced this problem, or are there some suggestions I could consider? (FYI: It's not a major problem, but avoiding it would be beneficial)

Leaving home?

replies: 2

Hi all I posted here a few years ago about my depression but I don't care enough to actually follow advice to get any better. Anyway, I've been struggling lately because I am currently in my 3rd year of uni (out of 7 years total) and I've been failing A LOT. My WAM is ~49.5 so I have no hope of transferring to a different course at my uni. Neither do I have the motivation or desire to actually study anything. Because of this, I'm dropping uni (rather, soon to be kicked out) and my parents are kicking me out as a result. I'd like some advice on what I should do, where I should even start with my life; I'm 21, I have no real work experience, no income, volunteered for the last few years, no other qualifications, no driver's license, no partners or support networks, no fitness, and no passions or interests (outside of gaming lol). My parents want me to continue in my studies at uni, but I have no motivation to continue at this point. It's a tough spot to be in and all I feel is stuck in an increasingly deeper hole.

I'm convinced that I have a mental illness

replies: 5

I am convinced that I have some sort of mental illness (anxiety) and I feel like the people I talk to, like my counsellor, friends or family; don't understand how bad this feels. It feels like torture. Anxiety is now starting to affect my daily life, most of the time I will refuse to go shopping with other people or go to birthday parties. I also have thoughts about something awful happening or situations that I don't wish to be in, these thoughts sometimes might end up making me tear or cry. I also overthink every little thing I do, and I think it's becoming a little obsessive. Walking down the street, hanging out with friends at the park, crossing roads, walking on the sidewalk/pathways, on my way to school and especially during class I feel very anxious. During class, if a teacher stands behind or next to me; I completely stop what I'm doing or close my laptop until they move away from me. If I hurt myself, need help, need to ask a question or want to answer a question; I simply just cannot do it. I mostly do this to my favourite teacher, which I find quite odd. I am the smartest person in my class and have a feeling that I always have to be correct or get good grades otherwise, I feel like a failure. I know this isn't really good and I try to tell myself that I can't be perfect and get 100% all the time. The funny is, I encourage other people that they are doing an amazing job, they are perfect the way they are and are very smart, but with me. It's different. I'm the total opposite with me, I'm harsh and very critical about what the things I do. Even if I did excellent in something, there is also something to judge about myself. There was a time where I did an excellent presentation in front of the class and got an A+. But, I still said to myself "No one else tried as hard as you, so why do you have to go over and beyond? You look stupid and everyone probably thinks you're a tryhard". I do sometimes have suidical thoughts but I don't want to hurt myself or end my life. I think this all started from an incident that happened in class, I became the centre of attention and most kids laughed at me. Some kids still bring it up today and it happened 7 months ago. I might just be too hard on myself and have social anxiety, but can't seem to stop any of this. Any help?

I'm not happy and I don't know what to do about it.

replies: 1

Lately, I've just been feeling very down and I don't know how to cope or deal with it! I'm not really good at expressing my emotions or talking to people about these things, mainly because I seem to be very optimistic and very outgoing on the outside. But that's not how it is sometimes. I'm very self-destructive (not in a physical sense, more mentally) and I don't know how to cope with feelings of doubt. Just recently, In school, we are split into these advanced and standard English classes based on the grades that we got the last term. I'm currently in the standard class, and when I tell people this they get really confused because I'm known as one of those "smart kids" at school and I just feel like they expect more from me. I look around and see my friends excelling in all their studies, maintaining a perfect report card, but then there's me who can get maybe one A here and there with all B's. And I don't know what to feel, I thought I was smarter than this, but I guess not. I just feel very envious of my friends who can maintain such a perfect report card, and I always try my hardest but then overthink a situation and get myself hurt to a point where I feel worthless. I don't want to feel this way but I can't help it. Another thing that's been going on is that I've been so negative about my physical appearance and have been trying to fix it for the past month! it's taken so long mainly because I start comparing myself to others in real life and on social media and start to overthink to a point where I give up. This has been a constant cycle. Lately, I've just been so self-critical about everything! from my appearance to my mental state and I don't know why this started to just recently. I used to be so happy, but I guess things change. Anyways, this was literally just a rant about my life. But the thing I really want to take away from this is: have you ever gotten to a point which feels so low? how did you get back up? how can I have a more positive outlook on life? What should I do to help cope? and how can I improve my life for the better, in order to feel happy again?

Stressed about new job.

replies: 3

I recently got a new job as a dishwasher for a casual dining restaurant, making this my second job I've ever received, I quit my first job after a couple of months due to overwhelming stress during that period of my life, which caused me to panic and break down when on my shifts and it just became too much. After a long while of not working, I believed I could get back into it with my newly acquired skills, and I tried really hard to get the job I currently have now by running around and applying to every store and restaurant that I could, until this restaurant decided to put me on for a trial, they really liked me and I enjoyed myself so I got hired. My first shift was two weeks ago and was pretty stressful, it was on a Thursday and I was required to stay until 11:45PM to clean up after the store had closed, I ended up going to sleep very late and spending money on an Uber to get home and was a zombie the next day, but I didn't worry too much, my next shift was easier, even though I was alone. My next shift was fine, until my most recent shift, which lasted 6 hours since I was brought in early, I did well for the start and didn't worry too much, until later in the shift, I began to get an anxious and overwhelming feeling of 'I really don't want to be here', I'm frustrated because I was hoping I wouldn't get this feeling anymore, but it still seems to be present and it makes working a lot harder because of how worried I am to go to my next shift. I know its important to give it time, but this feeling didn't subside at my first job, despite being there for months, I've tried strategies to calm myself down in stressful situations but most don't work or are very temporary, causing me to sort of feel trapped in my mind of what I want to do, the stakes are high for the job as I really need it to pay for important expenses, so I can't leave this time, but I just want to make the transition into comfort a lot easier, any suggestions?

Where do I even begin?

replies: 2

I am a 12 year old girl, and have been diagnosed with anxiety, and I have ASD. My anxiety is mainly caused by certain sounds, and pressure. Hearing hiccups, sniffs, loud breathing or snoring makes me want to cry. My Dad understands, but my Mum doesn't seem to care. And there's another issue: My parents split up early last year, and I still haven't gotten over it. My Dad gets sad, because he never gets to see us, and he never wanted to split up. I just feel like my Mum ruins everything. My Mum has a boyfriend who lives with her, but I have him. He smokes and is just an awful person, and I feel angry towards him, maybe not because he did anything, just he could never be my Dad. I have a one week cycle with each parent, and when I'm at my Dad's he respects my privacy, and doesn't make me do anything I don't feel comfortable doing (mostly). But when I'm at Mums she's a nightmare. We have at least 3 fights a week, and doesn't understand that not everyone will always be perfect, like my older sister. Then, I have these two friends. They keep on having fights with each other and both make it hard for me to be myself, but I really don want to lose them, cause they're all I have. Except often, they use me, because I'm quite intelligent in some subjects ( I can't say that without feeling guilty) and make me help them with their work. I have a crush on this girl at my school, but my Mum is strongly against homosexuality. Again, my Dad understands and always supports me, but I don't know what to do. I feel I'm too young to come out, or decide this is my life now, and I need help. I feel this is too much for a young girl to handle, along with trying to act like nothing's wrong at the same time... I really need help, for any of these problems you can relate to. I just want a real friend for once. EC

Eeep! When study is overwhelming! - Tips, ideas and coping strategies replies: 51

NEW TO THIS FORUM? Please read this first replies: 0

HSC exam stress as a high achiever replies: 1

Is this a toxic friendship? replies: 4

Work Anxiety & Impostor Syndrome as a New Graduate replies: 1

I currently feel alone replies: 3

Regret from playing games all day, lacking work ethic replies: 6

Leaving home? replies: 2

I'm convinced that I have a mental illness replies: 5

I'm not happy and I don't know what to do about it. replies: 1

Stressed about new job. replies: 3

Where do I even begin? replies: 2