I'm not happy and I don't know what to do about it.

[fruitinseason]

Lately, I've just been feeling very down and I don't know how to cope or deal with it!

I'm not really good at expressing my emotions or talking to people about these things, mainly because I seem to be very optimistic and very outgoing on the outside. But that's not how it is sometimes. I'm very self-destructive (not in a physical sense, more mentally) and I don't know how to cope with feelings of doubt.

Just recently, In school, we are split into these advanced and standard English classes based on the grades that we got the last term. I'm currently in the standard class, and when I tell people this they get really confused because I'm known as one of those "smart kids" at school and I just feel like they expect more from me. I look around and see my friends excelling in all their studies, maintaining a perfect report card, but then there's me who can get maybe one A here and there with all B's. And I don't know what to feel, I thought I was smarter than this, but I guess not. I just feel very envious of my friends who can maintain such a perfect report card, and I always try my hardest but then overthink a situation and get myself hurt to a point where I feel worthless. I don't want to feel this way but I can't help it.

Another thing that's been going on is that I've been so negative about my physical appearance and have been trying to fix it for the past month! it's taken so long mainly because I start comparing myself to others in real life and on social media and start to overthink to a point where I give up. This has been a constant cycle. Lately, I've just been so self-critical about everything! from my appearance to my mental state and I don't know why this started to just recently. I used to be so happy, but I guess things change.

Anyways, this was literally just a rant about my life. But the thing I really want to take away from this is: have you ever gotten to a point which feels so low? how did you get back up? how can I have a more positive outlook on life? What should I do to help cope? and how can I improve my life for the better, in order to feel happy again?

[Doolhof]

Hi fruitinseason,

Welcome to the community here and thanks for sharing your story with us. I am sure there are many people from all age groups who can relate to what you have written, feeling like you are not good enough...despite how much you achieve and manage to do.

There is a thread on the forum that is called something like " Dealing with the inner critic" by Quirkywords. See if you can find that. (My memory is not always fantastic so don't recall the actual title. Sorry!)

Is there a teacher or counsellor at school you can talk to regarding your grades and how you may be able to improve. There may be students who mentor in different subjects as well who could help.

Comparing ourselves to others is a natural thing to do but it is not always helpful. If you can use a comparison in such a way that you see something in another person that may benefit you and you can use that talent or ability, that is wonderful. Criticising yourself for not being like someone else is not helpful.

We are all individual. All you can do is your best!

At the end of each day think of things you have managed to achieve in the day, it doesn't have to be huge. Also think of 3 things you can be thankful for.

I know from experience that it is not possible to be happy all of the time and that is okay. Life has its ups and downs. I have recently been in a horrible place mentally. Now I feel I am slowly working my way out of the pit. It takes effort, desire and patience.

Like that saying of taking one step forward and two steps back. As long as you don't give up you are doing really well.

Please know you are welcome to continue to share here as often as you need or desire.

Wishing you all the best, cheers from Dools