Young people

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Eeep! When study is overwhelming! - Tips, ideas and coping strategies

replies: 51

Hi! Just thought I’d make a post with some tips for study. I know this is something we can all struggle with. These are all suggestions so feel free to take them or leave them! Hope they help! If you only remember one thing, let it be this: You are important. Your grades don’t define you. (support) Studying can feel isolating but know you’re not alone! Reach out – and find or make friends that can support you along the way. If you’re having trouble finding some friends, join some local communities or clubs! They have lots at Uni’s and even stuff like open days are great ways to meet new people and find out what’s happening. Study groups can also be a great way to meet people and stay motivated. Also remind yourself why you’re doing this; inspirational wallpapers or quotes can be super inspiring. Remember the saying about the oxygen mask? If you can’t take care of yourself first studying will be harder. You are important. You know the drill - water, food, exercise, sleep. Try to stay calm. Stuff that might be able to help include mindfulness, breathing exercises, colouring in, going for walks, journaling, listening to music… If you’re struggling – reach out. See a therapist. Talk to your student counsellor. If you need help, don’t be afraid to ask for it. Also lots of Universities and TAFE offer disability services – which includes conditions like Depression and Anxiety. (study) Find the right study space for you. Maybe that’s in your room, or a coffee shop, or the library. Some people find that noise helps; other people not so much. If you like particular kinds of noise, you can find ‘coffee shop’ noise or ‘rain sounds’ to help concentrate. Make a plan. It helps to do it often so it becomes a habit. Anytime you get a due date, write it down. Maybe you could use a diary, planner, bullet journal or an app. I find the 30/30 App helpful - study for a bit and then break for a bit. You can also get add-on’s for your computer to block sites like Facebook if you find them too distracting. Find out what study technique works for you. Do you like cue cards? Mind maps? Colour coding? Does highlighting stuff help you remember? Charts, maps, diagrams? Recorded lectures? Goals! These are so important – not just writing down deadlines but rewarding yourself for meeting them. Even making smaller goals like ‘read two pages from a textbook’ can help. Break it down into bite size pieces, and don’t forget to reward yourself after!

NEW TO THIS FORUM? Please read this first

replies: 0

The Young People space is a sub-forum within the wider Beyond Blue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss anxiety, depression and other related life issues. If you are aged over 25, please be mindful that this forum is a space for younger people to connect and provide peer support for each other. 2. Content from this sub-forum is displayed on both the beyondblue and youthbeyondblue websites. 3. Please bear in mind that some members find content relating to suicide and/or self-harm distressing or triggering. If you would like to post on these topics, please do so in our Suicidal Thoughts and Self Harm section. Please see also our guidelines for making posts on this topic. Posts made here in the Young People sub-forum containing content relating to suicide and/or self-harm will be moved. 4. These forums are moderated, so your posts may not appear straightaway. Information on how our system works can be found here. Being familiar with our community rules can help ensure that your posts appear online as quickly as possible. 5. This is a peer support community, and to get the best out of being here we recommend that you 'give support to receive support'. More on how that works here.

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Young and Alone

replies: 2

I’m new here. When I got on this forum, I started typing up a storm about how alone and depressed I am. I really just started ranting about my whole life story, even going past the word limit. But I realised that I’m sure a lot of you have heard it all before. So, I'll just start with the heart of the matter, I’m very very afraid. I'm afraid of where my life is heading. I'm afraid of dying alone I'm afraid that I will never know the happiness and joy of loving someone and being loved. I'm afraid that I will never experience the happiness and memories of real friendships I'm 21 years old. I have no real friends. Despite really trying to seek out new relationships, I feel that I can never solidify anything meaningful. I don't know what to do, or where to go, or who to talk to. I've never had any social safety net in my life, and I really don't think I can handle it much longer...

i feel so much that i feel nothing and it's ruined my life for the past 3 years.

replies: 4

I'm so tired of it. It hurts, it hurts so much that it doesn't. Right now, typing this, I don't feel depressed or anxious or anything of the sort. I've had quite a pleasant week actually. But I don't feel genuinely happy either, or optimistic or content. I don't know if it makes sense.. but it's like I'm depressed without quite feeling depressed. Like my mind has closed itself of those thoughts for most of the time, but they're still there. Like right now, typing this, I can feel some of the depressive thoughts lingering in my mind, they're present but still kind of hidden. I find it so hard to verbalise them out loud or even into writing. Sometimes something triggers one of those depressive thoughts I have locked away, and I find myself crying and actually feeling depressed. But as soon as that moment's gone, the thought locks itself up again. I think the reason I've blocked all of my negative thoughts in my mind is because I'm sick of it.They're all thoughts and feelings I've had before and I feel frustrated that I still haven't kicked them to the curb. I'm not surprised though- I should've kept going to my psychologist, I should've asked for help sooner, I should've prioritised good eating and exercising habits... but here we are. I'm determined to get back on track but I'm disheartened because this isn't the first time I've had to "get back on track". I know life is basically a series of messing up and then getting yourself back together again and again, but I'm 17 and I haven't lived properly for a good couple or so years. Every year for the past 3 years, I've experienced a tough patch- a good 3-4 months of the year spent with severe anxiety and depression. Both 2018 and this year, that tough patch has lasted for maybe even half the year. I honestly feel like I've lived more than half of the past 3 years in darkness. And you have no idea how badly I want to live in the light, to be happy, to see beautiful places and meet wonderful people. I want to go on adventures, face fears, achieve great things. But I'm always just waiting for that day where things fall back into place, that day that I wake up and realise the solution to my problems. I'm sick of waiting. I want to go out there and get my life back.. but I don't even know where to start.

can i have depression for no reason?

replies: 1

Hi, so i took a test on whether or not i have depression and anxiety. it says i've got both, but im not actually sure if i can have depression because i dont actually have anything that could have triggered my depression or anything. i get somewhat good grades, both my parents are together, i have friends. but then i just get those random days where i want to be alone and cry or i just dont feel like talking to anyone. And i start to think that my friends dont like me and they are sick of me and that no one wants to be my friend or hang out with me. I think i'm just one of those people that like to be told that i'm pretty or needs consent reassurance or whatever. its like i pull myself away from everyone and im lost in my head, where im just not myself and feel low? I sometimes have trouble breathing in class and my hands start to shake a little, and i feel completely anxious and like i'm a failure. Once i completely just sobbed one night before dinner, i couldn't breath and i felt dizzy and ran to the bathroom and sat on the floor and cried. I feel too scared to talk to anyone because i seem completely happy on the outside and i feel like if i tell anyone what i'm feeling they'll think i just want attention. I don't know if this means anything either but i always feel the need to gulp and i searched it up and it said because of anxiety and stress is this true? thanks, i know this is pretty random

I can't accept my mum's relationships

replies: 5

My parents have been divorced for 5 years now, since I was in primary school and my brother was in preschool. At first, everything was fine. We both stayed in my mum's custody and went to see my dad one night a week and every second weekend. Both my parents moved on quite quickly, both getting partners in the first year of being divorced. My dad's only girlfriend, who is now his wife, is kind, caring, beautiful and I really love her. However, my mum has had 6 relationships since the divorce, 2 being very serious and long term. Ever since her first relationship I have never been extremely comfortable with her partners coming over, or us going on holidays/road trips as a "family". But in the beginning it wasn't that bad, I would get upset or uncomfortable, but that's about it. However, as each relationship went by, I grew more and more anxious, upset, angry, nervous, worried, uncomfortable and confused all at the same time whenever they came over for dinner or we would go to their house. It's now gotten to the point where whenever we are at my dad's house and I just think about my mum with her boyfriend I get anxious and angry. But it doesn't make sense. All of her boyfriends have been kind and caring people, but I still feel this way around them. It's also gotten to the point where I feel I am ruining her life. Nowadays, she has been in her current relationship for nearly 2 years and I'm pretty sure she is considering marriage. The only thing stopping them is me. Every time her boyfriend comes over for dinner, I isolate myself in my room and most times just cry or feel all the above emotions but in extreme versions. And when I find out he is sleeping over, I slam my door, cry profusely and can't sleep. At first, when my mum saw me upset, she always told me it's just a change and I will get over it. But after 5 years of me not being able to breathe when they are around, and it getting worse every day, I don't think I'm ever going to get over it. Eventually, I drive her boyfriend out of the house as he feels bad, and then I just hear my mum sobbing in her room, and it just makes me feel like I'm a burden and the worst daughter in the world, but I can't help it. I try to stay calm and talk to him, but when I try I just feel everything again but even worse and I storm off. My brother has been fine with all her relationships, and that just makes me feel even worse. How can he be younger than me but still accept him? Why can't I just be normal and accept him?

hello

replies: 3

hi everyone, im new to the forums and im here because i told myself i should probably go get help. its not too bad of a problem but thanks if you read through it i dont really know where to start. for a while now ive lost motivation to do anything and ive gotten pretty lazy. its gotten really bad to the point where im failing a class because i didnt do homework. i often yell at myself a lot. the other day i sat in front of the bathroom mirror and cried and yelled at myself about how im so useless and why i always ruin everything. i yell at myself for every little mistake. i made a huge mistake at the start of the year and whenever i think about it i just cry. i cry until i convince myself im weak for crying and eventually i just go back on my phone and pretend nothing happened. a lot of it has to do with people having high expectations of me. ive just given up. i just dont know i dont know anymore i dont know what to write

Feeling trapped again

replies: 1

Hi everyone! I’m new and i’m hoping i can get some help or advice on here. I don’t even know where to begin, all i know is I’ve been suffering from severe anxiety since i was a young teen. The last time i went to seek professional help was probably 4-5 years ago. I actually thought i was getting better, i was doing all these things to distract myself such as doing things that i love, finding happiness in even the smallest things and i’ve also been trying really hard to love myself. I was feeling quite fine until recently, some family issues triggered me. My head started hurting and i felt like i’ve lost all my energy , what’s worse is that my dad thinks I’m an attention seeker (to him, there’s no such thing as mental illness). The only person i can really talk to about my problems is my mum. However, my mum tells me I don’t appreciate my dad enough, the reason him being frustrated. She understands my struggles but thinks I’m the one ruining the relationship between me and my dad. For a while, I’ve been trying to ignore him and i admit I don’t like waking up just to see him every morning. I do this because all he does is bring me down by his actions or words just everything he does doesn’t make my situation any better. And I’ve learnt to stay away from people who keep trying to drag me down. I feel like every thing i do, I would always be the first to be blamed on it really sucks. People who don’t understand me think I’m self-centred but honestly i just need as much help as i can get. I believe I’m stronger than i use to be but sometimes just one bad day can really trigger me and I really want to change that. In that moment I feel as if every step I’ve taken to heal myself was all for nothing. I know this will be a very long journey like it has been in the past and it won’t be easy. If you’re an anxious human being and you’re reading this well you need to know you are not the only one fighting this devil thats chasing you around wherever you go because you are never alone in this fight.

I have severe math anxiety

replies: 4

I'm a 13yr old girl, I fear math and I have math anxiety. Not the small "oh I can't do this question I'm going to fail the test" but my thoughts are "I failed one question. I'm going to fail in life". I'm REALLY bad at math, almost everyone in my class is either great or good at it--I however-- am bad at it. I applied to join the AAFC and I'm really excited to join. I'm also intending to join the Air Force because it just fascinates me. Thing is, the requirements to join is that you have to keep math all the way up until year 12. I'm not good at math, my head just can't think logically like that and whenever I think of it I either want to cry, do self-arm or just straight up die. Today-- my teacher told me these words when I was in math period 1 & 2, "I saw you doing nothing today in class. What is wrong with you?",she said with a stern face. I replied with"nothing". She then continues with, "is there something else? This is ridiculous! You can't just give up on math like that! So, when there's harder subjects over the years are you going to give up on them as well? It's ONLY YEAR SEVEN" her eyes stared into mine like a deadly disease. My lips quivered and my eyes threatened to spill. "So, is there something else?" she asks once more, "no. It's just the maths", I weakly respond, my knees about to fail on me. "Your father was really happy when you were practicing at home with him, what happened? You just went from--" she mentions with her hand to look like it was on top of a hill, and drops it down like a child sliding down a slide. "--to that." she ends. "If you want to, you can sit down next to me if you want some help", she raises a brow. I think. I knew what she was doing: She was going to put me in front of the class so I would feel embarrassed in front of everybody else. I might have made a short story just then but that was how it went. My mind goes into torture every time I go to math class, I don't have dyslexia or anything but, WHY AM I SO BAD AT MATHS AND CAN SOMEONE HELP ME?

Past friends

replies: 5

Hi everyone, I am new to the forum so hope you are all doing well. I am on the edge at the moment as I have left my friend for 10 years due to some reasons that I don't feel very comfortable saying. It hurts me as well that he has done these actions as we were very close as friends and we new both each other's families etc. Whenever I am out in public I am always on the look out to see if he's there (as we live pretty close) so I know when to hide, I hate doing this it really annoys me as I go out pretty often. I haven't given him a very good explanatory of why I am not friends with him (as I have basically given up on him...) I just blocked him on all social media contacts and left him on the edge although we did not talk often so I guess it doesn't really matter. I am thinking of changing my appearance in public so I don't get spotted but in reality I don't want to do that. Every day I am thinking of my friend and how I should have left him its just non-stop. Hopefully we can get this matter resolved...

So unsure of what to do. Family is a mess

replies: 2

Hi all, Basically my home life isn’t the best. For a long while now my parents have been through constant patches of being okay and not fighting. To fighting heavily And always dragging me into it with their comments. Today was another intense argument involving divorce papers (this isn’t the first time this has occurred) . I have a close relationship with my mum and she suffers from depression. My dad does not understand and always think she is under the influence of something else, he believes mental health is a “myth”. He told me today that I need to grow up and understand her adult problems. I’m 24 and have helped her through all of it after he has left because he can’t deal. This hurt me deeply I work part time and I’m studying social work, I wish I could just leave home but unable too, I’m meant to go on holiday next year. I just feel such a mess on what to do. I want to live my life, but things like this with my family happening a lot bring me down. It makes me question everything and what I’m doing. If anyone has any advice to share, that would be beneficial I would greatly appreciate it. I’m really stuck and unsure of a lot.

I'm over it... SO over it.

replies: 1

this time last year i was in a similar position- not going to school, depressed, days blurring together, etc, only by the end of the month, things were looking up again. This time feels different, because I'm not supposed to be like this right now. I was supposed to be happy and thriving. I was supposed to be studying for exams, looking forward to school holidays and hanging out with friends on the weekend. Instead I'm not going to be doing exams, I'm graduating in 2021 instead of next year and I feel absolutely nothing 98% of the time. My parents are supportive and would do anything to help, but they're busy with work. It's selfish but I always wish they put more time into my situation. I wish they called the psychologist when I first asked them to, and I wish they would talk to my school and sort something out. I'm sick of waiting for the psychologist to get back to us. I'm sick of feeling aimless, floating through life, not knowing what will happen next or if anything will happen at all. I'm sick of waiting for something to happen. No one barely ever gets what they want by simply waiting, I know, but I am paralysed. I can't talk to my mum about my feelings anymore because I know what she'll say- "you just have to try." Like geez, if only someone told me that 2 months ago, then I wouldn't be in this situation anymore!!! (note the sarcasm). I know my mum means best, but she doesn't always get it. I don't know what to do, I'm paralysed, I have no motivation most days or at least, motivation to do something that really matters anyway. The most productive things I've done in maybe the past month is bake and clean, which are rather mindless tasks really. I should be emailing my school, getting to bed and waking up early, studying, exercising, taking proper care of myself. But I simply can't. It's like the part of my brain that knows how to do those things is malfunctioning. I want to achieve great things in my life- get good grades, travel, go to uni, become a journalist, make a positive change in the world. But I can't think about doing any of that right now, because I can't do the bare minimum. I want to at least be healthy and fit, and a good student. But I can't go to school or exercise or eat properly or sleep properly. I'm so completely utterly absolutely over it. I just want to be happy and okay. I'm sick of just surviving, I want to LIVE. I'm so over depression and anxiety paralysing me and keeping me from being who i want to be.

Eeep! When study is overwhelming! - Tips, ideas and coping strategies replies: 51

NEW TO THIS FORUM? Please read this first replies: 0

Young and Alone replies: 2

i feel so much that i feel nothing and it's ruined my life for the past 3 years. replies: 4

can i have depression for no reason? replies: 1

I can't accept my mum's relationships replies: 5

hello replies: 3

Feeling trapped again replies: 1

I have severe math anxiety replies: 4

Past friends replies: 5

So unsure of what to do. Family is a mess replies: 2

I'm over it... SO over it. replies: 1