Young people

Pinned discussions

Eeep! When study is overwhelming! - Tips, ideas and coping strategies

replies: 51

Hi! Just thought I’d make a post with some tips for study. I know this is something we can all struggle with. These are all suggestions so feel free to take them or leave them! Hope they help! If you only remember one thing, let it be this: You are important. Your grades don’t define you. (support) Studying can feel isolating but know you’re not alone! Reach out – and find or make friends that can support you along the way. If you’re having trouble finding some friends, join some local communities or clubs! They have lots at Uni’s and even stuff like open days are great ways to meet new people and find out what’s happening. Study groups can also be a great way to meet people and stay motivated. Also remind yourself why you’re doing this; inspirational wallpapers or quotes can be super inspiring. Remember the saying about the oxygen mask? If you can’t take care of yourself first studying will be harder. You are important. You know the drill - water, food, exercise, sleep. Try to stay calm. Stuff that might be able to help include mindfulness, breathing exercises, colouring in, going for walks, journaling, listening to music… If you’re struggling – reach out. See a therapist. Talk to your student counsellor. If you need help, don’t be afraid to ask for it. Also lots of Universities and TAFE offer disability services – which includes conditions like Depression and Anxiety. (study) Find the right study space for you. Maybe that’s in your room, or a coffee shop, or the library. Some people find that noise helps; other people not so much. If you like particular kinds of noise, you can find ‘coffee shop’ noise or ‘rain sounds’ to help concentrate. Make a plan. It helps to do it often so it becomes a habit. Anytime you get a due date, write it down. Maybe you could use a diary, planner, bullet journal or an app. I find the 30/30 App helpful - study for a bit and then break for a bit. You can also get add-on’s for your computer to block sites like Facebook if you find them too distracting. Find out what study technique works for you. Do you like cue cards? Mind maps? Colour coding? Does highlighting stuff help you remember? Charts, maps, diagrams? Recorded lectures? Goals! These are so important – not just writing down deadlines but rewarding yourself for meeting them. Even making smaller goals like ‘read two pages from a textbook’ can help. Break it down into bite size pieces, and don’t forget to reward yourself after!

NEW TO THIS FORUM? Please read this first

replies: 0

The Young People space is a sub-forum within the wider Beyond Blue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss anxiety, depression and other related life issues. If you are aged over 25, please be mindful that this forum is a space for younger people to connect and provide peer support for each other. 2. Content from this sub-forum is displayed on both the beyondblue and youthbeyondblue websites. 3. Please bear in mind that some members find content relating to suicide and/or self-harm distressing or triggering. If you would like to post on these topics, please do so in our Suicidal Thoughts and Self Harm section. Please see also our guidelines for making posts on this topic. Posts made here in the Young People sub-forum containing content relating to suicide and/or self-harm will be moved. 4. These forums are moderated, so your posts may not appear straightaway. Information on how our system works can be found here. Being familiar with our community rules can help ensure that your posts appear online as quickly as possible. 5. This is a peer support community, and to get the best out of being here we recommend that you 'give support to receive support'. More on how that works here.

All discussions

Sorted by:

Start a discussion

Hating still being single and unpopular at 22

replies: 5

In financial and professional terms, I am doing well and succeeding. I am currently working a part-time job and own a Freelance Massage/Beauty business. I have recently been accepted to study Massage Therapy at a high-level institution. Despite struggles, I have worked hard and persevered to achieve these successes. Yet my social life is lacking. Already being unpopular since school, I have struggled to make friends, and been rejected by many guys I liked. Many of my ex and current classmates are already dating, married, having kids, getting to travel to countries, succeeding at careers/businesses and it looks like life is just perfect for them and many people like them. Looking at social media makes me jealous and depressed, like why is this happening to me? Why am I still a virgin? Why haven't I been in proper relationships/dates at 22? Why am I so incompetent with 'connecting' with people and feel drained/alienated instead? At this stage, I've barely been seeing anyone outside my family/work, due to feeling disconnected. On top of that I've had to deal with disgruntled clients, work conflicts, and negative reviews about my work performance/customer service. As if I already need to keep being reminded how shitty I am as a person. Currently, I have a crush on a guy who I know at my current workplace. We get along well together and he is typically nice. As a result, I started having feelings obviously. I started inviting him out for dinners post-work, which he kept refusing. Eventually, he told me that he was dating someone else and that I was being too forceful and forward. It really broke me. I've tried reading 'dating advice' and it seems that I fit most of the things that would repel people away, not attract them. Now things are awkward between us and he's tried to avoid talking with me aside from work orders. It sounds so vain I know, but right now I feel so lonely and insecure. I know there's many things I should be grateful for and I am. Yet with peers my age, I lack social competency. Having grown up being bullied and outcasted in school, it just doesn't feel right that I'm still struggling with this at 22. That I still feel conflicted and unhappy that I'm like this. That I can't seem to interest or attract anyone, that whatever successes I have is barely celebrated or comparable to others successes. I don't really know what I can offer. Would appreciate opinions, support, advice no matter how honest it is.

Goofed big time, overwhelmed. Got advice for a uni intern?

replies: 1

Hi all! I've done a silly. I made some, really terrible decisions. I'm a 2nd yr Advanced Science student. I've been doing an a lab internship lab at uni - 140 hr requirement which I started at beginning of the year. I have 40 hrs left. I need to get a move on - my progress has been so slow and people need the data soon. In July I was allowed to take part in an extra project on limpets with a PhD student I know. Since the initial meeting I have done practically nothing. Like, had the meetings, went in for a couple hours work. The whole time I struggled to prioritise. I was caught between my finances, family pressure, low confidence, university courses and my internship. I had enough time during the semester. I got so caught in a fog of these different things that I was paralysed, and I allowed myself to make excuses because I just couldn't prioritise. I knew that. But I told myself I didn't have time to step back and organise my sh** due to my university courses. Realistically, I could have. I didn't. Now, that failure is eating me up. I feel I need to apologise because even if I was going to do that (agree, then not work on it for months) I should have at least communicated. This is a huge opportunity and I've let it go ass up due to my lack of decisionmaking. Now anxiety and fear of re-introducing myself to this project and finding my way forward after dropping off the face of the Earth is stopping me from going into the lab to do work, even a week after finishing final exams. I need to get past this and make amends, even if I'm booted from the project. But I don't know how. It'll be out of the blue, not knowing anymore where I stand, and not knowing how it'll go or how much I can do. I want to talk to the PhD student in person to apologise, but I'm honestly terrible at this stuff - wording, and the bit where you don't cry in your kind-of-workplace filled with people who could make or break your career if they chose. I haven't spoken to my actual supervisor since February due to his busy-ness, and the fact that I never actually got to know or work with him - I was handed off to PhD students and then to the other big name in the department. I will need to, I should, but I frankly just don't know how. Communication with him disappeared nearly as quickly as it started. I feel like I'm just floating around in this whole situation and environment and I can't grab onto anything to reassure myself about what I need to do and how. And it's still paralysing me.

How do you stand up for yourself?

replies: 6

Hey everyone, So I have been having this issue for a while; whenever someone is arguing with me or they try to fight me I end up running away from the situation, even if they discriminate me or just make fun of me... Even the guy who tries to argue with me he just confronts me that I don't fight for myself. I just don't want to be involved in any arguments at school it bothers me that I can't fight for myself when people make fun of me I just don't want to create drama I have told them to stop but of course saying stop doesn't do anything. Hopefully this can get resolved soon because it really bothers me, Tuilop.

Bulimic,Bi & all alone

replies: 8

Trying to adjust to a new school in senior year, been there for a week and i have found no like minded people. Suggestions?

I feel emptiness inside of me

replies: 1

I’m lost with words and emotions right now. I’ve had sleepless nights and cry myself to sleep. People would label me as the brightest person in the room yet I feel the darkest. It’s an effort to put myself out there and visit friends or to talk to my family about how I feel inside. If I did I would automatically change the subject about them to not talk about myself, I have always done that. But I’m so exhausted in seeing how other people are because no one asks how I am. Im only 24 and life seems to be so hard that I can’t bare to be at work or around my friends or even love my partner of 4 years. I recently had helped a good friend of mine that got out of a abusive relationship. I let her and her new born baby live with us as like she was my own blood family. I did everything I could do just to get her back into her feet. A month or so had past and she had been saying dishonest things and she ended up going back to the man she said she hated. She had messaged me and said she had left and said it was all a lie just for her to receive payment from the government. That she would rip the government off ? After all this had happened I felt every emotion running through my body. All my happiness I had just gone. I am the type of person who would do anything for a friend and would help anyone if needed. People had told me it’s her fault that I shouldn’t worry but that’s not what I am most concerned about. I’m not concerned about her or anyone else but myself because I feel empty and miserable. I find myself daydreaming about nothing and just staring at a wall. I feel like somethings really wrong with me inside but I am to afraid to talk face to face with someone because I can’t get the words out. I struggle to tel my family because they see me as the happiest sister or daughter of the family (the clown). I’m afraid my partner won’t be bothered to listen to my own problems and he might just walk away. I feel emptiness inside of me and I’m afraid of it.

Stepmother hates me and is ruining my relationship with my dad

replies: 5

My dad and I used to be so close, we would hang out every day, but when my parents split up and my dad started seeing my stepmum i started to see him less and less. Partially because she obviously disliked me, because he didn't make an effort anymore, and because I never felt welcome in that house. They both moved to a different city and now i see him twice a year at most. about 4 months ago I was staying at my dads house and coincidentally my mum (who is the kindest, loveliest person ever) was also in the city with my stepfather. I had been up all night because I had a bad cold and couldn't breathe, my dad and stepmum were at work and so I called my mum because I was still struggling so hard to breathe. She got an uber to my dads house and sat with me while we waited for an ambulance to come. When we arrived at the hospital they did so many tests and found out that I had pneumonia and bronchitis. My dad didn't bother to leave work early, but came to the hospital to sit with me. The whole time he was on his phone and when I asked him why he said that my stepmum was very angry that my mum had been in her house. She did not care nor did she ask how I was, she was furious that when I was so unwell and couldn't reach her or my dad, I asked for my mum to come and help me. That is ridiculous and hurtful. I was released from hospital at 8pm that night and went back to my dads house. on the way home my dad said that because my stepmum was so angry, she probably wouldn't come out of her room to see me. This really is a depiction of her as a person; really couldn't give a damn about me, just herself. So I laid down to rest and I heard them fighting. My stepmother called my mum a B*tch that spreads lies about her and said that she hated my sister and I. I didn't want to be in that house so I left and sat on the curb crying. my dad followed me out and drove me to my mums hotel room. she never said sorry for the awful things she said about my mum and my sister. My mother always encouraged me to have a good relationship with my stepmum and tried to help me see things from my stepmoms side when I would get upset about something. My stepmum said horrible things about my family and didn't care at all that I was unwell. I don't think she was sorry for what she said I just think she's sorry that I heard her. My dad has tried to get me to reconcile with her but I don't know if i want to. But im scared that if i don't I will lose any relationship I have with my dad.

Grandpa's alzheimer's and my dyslexia (and dyscalculia) in school

replies: 1

this is a bit heavy but. my grandpa was diagnosed with Alzheimer's a year ago or so and he has only gotten worse. His medication is not working anymore and he has become more violent. this is not my grandpa it's not the same man I grew up with. I feel scared for my grandma. she has become afraid of him. he threatened to kill her if she put him in a nursing home and I think she is slowing starting to become less and less mentally well. Don't worry there are people around who are investigating how violent he is, things are being done. this has put lots of pressure on my mum since she is an only child and is the only one who can take care of them and i miss my old grandpa and I want to help but I feel so useless. this happened just before my exams and now I'm sitting in my final year and feel like I can't go to school now. I'm so tired of being tired. as you can imagine this impacted my grades and now I am feeling even more powerless as I have my exams result back. My dyslexia and dyscalculia have always been an insecurity of mine but now it's even more powerful as one of my teachers told me what I hear every time "your ideas are good it's just getting them on paper." I'm so tired of having to keep this inside and worrying whether I'm a burden on others. (sorry I just needed to rant)

When I don't wanna give up thought get toxic!

replies: 2

Why is it hard to leave a place or situation even though I know it's hurting me each day! I always said to myself I don't wanna give up easily and kept on getting hurt and said "Yay! at least I didn't give up!!". And trying to justify the situation a... View more

Need some help on staying positive

replies: 1

Hi Before i start talking, I'm not writing this to invoke pity on myself, I'm just trying to get stuff of my chest and hopefully make myself feel better. This year has been a drag for me. I started to get really down around mid April to July, a lot of it due to University. I've always been the shy, awkward kid that doesn't talk to many people and doesn't have many or any real friends at all, and nothing changed in uni but it becoming more evident. I've been feeling incredibly lonely and its like walking around a place you don't belong for 12 hours a week and then repeating it for 12 weeks. I've struggled to make friends, and the isolation has had its toll. It all hit its climax, when I started bombing courses and ended up failing one of my units. Ironically this made it a bit more tolerable, as I focused more on my studies for the next semester, but now that the break has come, the negative thoughts are starting to return. Going into this break, I hyped myself telling myself, that I would find a new job, be committed to the gym and get revise up on material for next year, but two weeks in and it has been the complete opposite, the absolute worst actually. I've been incredibly lazy, tired and every time I stuff up, I just become more negative and more pessimistic. I've been skipping the gym simply for waking up a bit late, and recently I forgot that I had work and didn't turn up. It just seems that I keep making mistakes after mistake and mistake and I'm feeling really hopeless. I understand fully that I'm mostly to blame for all these problems, but I've become less and less optimistic in my ability to improve myself and starting to think that this is who I am in general. My thoughts have becoming more and more negative and I posted this just to get stuff out of my head. I would appreciate any advice if anyone's got any.

Uneventful and Unfulfilling Life - am I wasting my life away?

replies: 3

Hey guys! This is my first post. So basically, over the last half of the year my life has gotten progressively uneventful. I've been spending my weekdays basically just doing homework. And then my weekend consists of either lying in bed on my laptop or doing homework. And this just feels so unfulfilling. I feel like I'm wasting my life away and I also feel more and more lonely because I just spend my time alone. And whenever I ask if any of my friends want to do something they're busy. And so I guess what I want advice on is how can I make myself do more things? I mean I read articles and all they say is to walk, or bake or do other hobbies but this still doesn't work. How can I start going out more with other people? Like how can I ask them to do more things with me? Or what things can I do to make my life more interesting? Because at the moment the only really significant thing in my life is school which just leaves me feeling so sad. The thing is I have friends, but no best friends if that makes sense. Is there a way I can reach out to more people? If I'm honest, my ideal goal would just to have a best friend who I can see all the time and randomly text and go out with. I feel like that's a bit much to ask for but thats just to put it all into context I guess. Since the summer holidays are coming up, this is a chance to do more things so can you please give me suggestions? Because if I don't do things, I think I might spend the summer feeling lonely and sad at home. Also, if any of you have gone through this how did you change things? Thanks for reading it means a lot

Eeep! When study is overwhelming! - Tips, ideas and coping strategies replies: 51

NEW TO THIS FORUM? Please read this first replies: 0

Hating still being single and unpopular at 22 replies: 5

Goofed big time, overwhelmed. Got advice for a uni intern? replies: 1

How do you stand up for yourself? replies: 6

Bulimic,Bi & all alone replies: 8

I feel emptiness inside of me replies: 1

Stepmother hates me and is ruining my relationship with my dad replies: 5

Grandpa's alzheimer's and my dyslexia (and dyscalculia) in school replies: 1

When I don't wanna give up thought get toxic! replies: 2

Need some help on staying positive replies: 1

Uneventful and Unfulfilling Life - am I wasting my life away? replies: 3